WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Humor for the day??

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
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Things that are difficult

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
a.. Cinnamon
b.. Indubitably
c.. Innovative
d.. Preliminary
e.. Proliferation

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
a.. British Constitution
b.. Loquacious Transubstantiate
c.. Passive-aggressive disorder
d.. Specificity

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
a.. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
b.. Nope, no more booze for me
c.. Sorry, but you're not really my type
d.. Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
e.. Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
f.. You're right; I can't jump over that table
 

Signify

Particinator
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A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and
he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in
such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an
advertisement which read, 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'
Then she moved under one that read, 'Sloans Liniments Remove
Swelling.' I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving
advertisement which read, 'William's Stick Did The Trick.' Then
I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move
she sat under an advertisement which read, 'Dunlop Rubber would
have prevented this accident.'" He won the case.
 

betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
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A man thinks his wife is cheating on him, so one day before he goes to work he drives to a spot where you can see a lot of the city, he can see his house from there, he takes out some binoculars and sure enough there is a guy in the house with his wife getting it on. So he calls a hitman, the hitman comes and pulls out a briefcase, opens it, and assembles a sniper rifle. He says to the guy "I get $1000 every time I pull this trigger." The guy says "Ok, I want two shots, I want you to shoot that guy in the dick for fucking my wife. And my wife in the mouth so it will shut her up and she'll learn her lesson." The hitman agress and states, "That will be $2000." He gets prepared to shoot, he mounts his gun and looks through the scope. After about 10 minutes the hitman still hadn't shot, the guy says "What is taking so long?" And the hitman replies, "Shh I'm about to save you $1000."