Social Distancing Warrior
I, for one, believe you, even if no one else on this site does. Thanks for coming back.Exactly. Narcissists are extremely venomous when you disagree with them. Both my brother and my mother fly into obscene rages when you criticize them. It is totally wild. I'm exceptionally thick skinned these days, because i have been called anything from a whore (that is STILL a very frequent insult), to a pig, to a clown, stupid, retarded, mentally ill, selfish, egotistical, evil... you name it. Dispite of all the scapegoating, i have managed to somewhat separate myself from them and lead a relatively normal life. But whenever i refuse to do something they want me to do, the abuse is relentless. Recently, i spent almost an hour listening to my brother's abuse, all because i was not willing to do something my family wanted me to do. I should have hung up, really. So now he's blocked. I'm not engaging with them anymore. No way. After you walk away from those people, you actually feel like you've been punched in the head several times over. I KNOW first hand for this narcissistic abuse is like. Call it what you like - it is still abuse. Those people are about power and control, and they will do everything possible that you yield to them. I've never been easily controlled and have always been fairly independent. Maybe that is the problem. They can't stand not having you under their control to do their undertakings. Some things are just fucking wrong, family or no family.
There are some people who start going crazy and acting irrationally when they are under a lot of stress. These people are not narcissists. True narcissists are ALWAYS thinking about themselves ... what is in it for them, how can they benefit from a situation. They focus their negative energy on those standing in their way and appear to be "nice" to people who are not in their way.Nice Save on deleting those 500 posts @HarmonyX , i was comin-for-dat-azz!!!
Also, I can empathize with your situation. Someone very close to me is this way. But this person is also capable of great love, for that reason they can't be an actual narcissist. Tendencies yes, clinically diagnosed, probably not. And this person takes it to a level I've never seen before. Many people misunderstand what anxiety and fear do to a person and often times, these tendencies that we feel are narcissistic, are deep rooted in anxiety and fear caused by a situation in their life during their neurological development. It also comes with a control complex. Making them absolute fuck-wits to deal with in situations like the ones you mentioned.
I think my older brother became a narcissist because my parents were afraid to punish him. They thought good parenting meant treating all their children equally, except they did not realize that by not punishing my older brother they were essentially punishing me. My older brother would hit me for no reason and my parents blamed both of us equally. "You TWO stop fighting!" is what they would say, even though I never started it. Naturally, he kept trying to start fights with me over and over again. Finally, when I was about twelve years old, I could hit back hard enough that my older brother learned it was not wise to start fights with me anymore.
Once my older brother tried to kick me, but he missed. However, he kicked so hard that he put a hole in the drywall. Guess who my parents blamed for the hole?
Also, on a side note, up until a few minutes ago, I was still using Internet Explorer on this site. However, now the none of the pop-up menus work anymore. Clicking on anything takes me to new page. The only rating I can give is "Like". Obviously, something has changed with this site in the last few days. Perhaps this could be a reason for people's double-posting or what not. Anyway, I am now reluctantly using Chrome. I hate that I have to manually switch to new tabs.