I’m sick of narcissistic people

CoprophagousCop

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Exactly. Narcissists are extremely venomous when you disagree with them. Both my brother and my mother fly into obscene rages when you criticize them. It is totally wild. I'm exceptionally thick skinned these days, because i have been called anything from a whore (that is STILL a very frequent insult), to a pig, to a clown, stupid, retarded, mentally ill, selfish, egotistical, evil... you name it. Dispite of all the scapegoating, i have managed to somewhat separate myself from them and lead a relatively normal life. But whenever i refuse to do something they want me to do, the abuse is relentless. Recently, i spent almost an hour listening to my brother's abuse, all because i was not willing to do something my family wanted me to do. I should have hung up, really. So now he's blocked. I'm not engaging with them anymore. No way. After you walk away from those people, you actually feel like you've been punched in the head several times over. I KNOW first hand for this narcissistic abuse is like. Call it what you like - it is still abuse. Those people are about power and control, and they will do everything possible that you yield to them. I've never been easily controlled and have always been fairly independent. Maybe that is the problem. They can't stand not having you under their control to do their undertakings. Some things are just fucking wrong, family or no family.
I, for one, believe you, even if no one else on this site does. Thanks for coming back.

Nice Save on deleting those 500 posts @HarmonyX , i was comin-for-dat-azz!!!

Also, I can empathize with your situation. Someone very close to me is this way. But this person is also capable of great love, for that reason they can't be an actual narcissist. Tendencies yes, clinically diagnosed, probably not. And this person takes it to a level I've never seen before. Many people misunderstand what anxiety and fear do to a person and often times, these tendencies that we feel are narcissistic, are deep rooted in anxiety and fear caused by a situation in their life during their neurological development. It also comes with a control complex. Making them absolute fuck-wits to deal with in situations like the ones you mentioned.
There are some people who start going crazy and acting irrationally when they are under a lot of stress. These people are not narcissists. True narcissists are ALWAYS thinking about themselves ... what is in it for them, how can they benefit from a situation. They focus their negative energy on those standing in their way and appear to be "nice" to people who are not in their way.

I think my older brother became a narcissist because my parents were afraid to punish him. They thought good parenting meant treating all their children equally, except they did not realize that by not punishing my older brother they were essentially punishing me. My older brother would hit me for no reason and my parents blamed both of us equally. "You TWO stop fighting!" is what they would say, even though I never started it. Naturally, he kept trying to start fights with me over and over again. Finally, when I was about twelve years old, I could hit back hard enough that my older brother learned it was not wise to start fights with me anymore.

Once my older brother tried to kick me, but he missed. However, he kicked so hard that he put a hole in the drywall. Guess who my parents blamed for the hole?



Also, on a side note, up until a few minutes ago, I was still using Internet Explorer on this site. However, now the none of the pop-up menus work anymore. Clicking on anything takes me to new page. The only rating I can give is "Like". Obviously, something has changed with this site in the last few days. Perhaps this could be a reason for people's double-posting or what not. Anyway, I am now reluctantly using Chrome. I hate that I have to manually switch to new tabs.
 

ib4

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Also, on a side note, up until a few minutes ago, I was still using Internet Explorer on this site. However, now the none of the pop-up menus work anymore. Clicking on anything takes me to new page. The only rating I can give is "Like". Obviously, something has changed with this site in the last few days. Perhaps this could be a reason for people's double-posting or what not. Anyway, I am now reluctantly using Chrome. I hate that I have to manually switch to new tabs.

WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Are you still using IE?! I'm not going to say anything else bc I'm genuinely interested by you're still using IE. You might as well be a bug zapper light for exploits, various security holes, glitches, incompatibilities, etc
 
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CoprophagousCop

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WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Are you still using IE?! I'm not going to say anything else bc I'm genuinely interested by you're still using IE. You might as well be a bug zapper light for exploits, vario8us security holes, glitches, incompatibilities, etc

I as I mentioned, I hate having to manually switch to new tabs. I navigate most web sites, including this one, by right-clicking on links and selecting "Open link in new tab". This prevents unnecessary reloading of web pages and helps me keep track of where I am in a site. I cannot figure out how to get Chrome to automatically switch to a new tab that I just opened. It should be the default behavior. Also, when I open new tabs in Internet Explorer, they always appear at the end of the tab bar, so they are easy to find and help me keep track of where I am. Chrome puts the new tabs immediately to the right of whichever tab I happen to be on, which makes navigation more difficult.

As far as security goes, my system restores itself every time I reboot it, so I do not have to worry about viruses and other malware. However, it would be even nicer if hard drives where made with a physical switch to make them read only. I say "physical switch" because it needs to be impossible to be switched via software. Unfortunately, since this would mostly eliminate the need for antivirus software, it is not likely to ever happen.
 

ib4

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I as I mentioned, I hate having to manually switch to new tabs. I navigate most web sites, including this one, by right-clicking on links and selecting "Open link in new tab". This prevents unnecessary reloading of web pages and helps me keep track of where I am in a site. I cannot figure out how to get Chrome to automatically switch to a new tab that I just opened. It should be the default behavior. Also, when I open new tabs in Internet Explorer, they always appear at the end of the tab bar, so they are easy to find and help me keep track of where I am. Chrome puts the new tabs immediately to the right of whichever tab I happen to be on, which makes navigation more difficult.

As far as security goes, my system restores itself every time I reboot it, so I do not have to worry about viruses and other malware. However, it would be even nicer if hard drives where made with a physical switch to make them read only. I say "physical switch" because it needs to be impossible to be switched via software. Unfortunately, since this would mostly eliminate the need for antivirus software, it is not likely to ever happen.
You just set off many small explosions in my brain...

Residual risk is always a frustrating part of my job, thankfully though since I write the policies, people choosing to be apart of residual risk doesn't happen.
  • unnecessary reloading
    Right off the bat, that's not even a thing as every web page is cached in your browser...to...prevent unnecess....ok I guess it is a thing, BUT it is already done for you! o__O

  • manually switching to new tabs
    ... is a terrible reason to open your machine up to so many security holes. BTW your tab switch solution in Chrome is CTRL+SHIFT+CLICK. Its BETTER I might add than right clicking, then clicking again, I use it all the time, I love it. I'm not saying Chrome is the godsend of safety, I just mean, "please lord please, anything but IE." I understand the annoyance of not having tabs open at the end, it being more difficult or complex though is subjective to what you're used to. They designed that feature as a "open the tab next to its parent" type thing. But I am like you, I prefer to go to the end for my new tab.


  • A hard drive could never be READ-ONLY as it is almost always being written to by something. If I understand it right, software often times needs to generate resources locally as they are being used in the software.

@CoprophagousCop I like you, so don't take any of this as insulting you. I crossed over into CyberSecurity/Information Security a few years back and not only am I loving it, I'm fucking good at it. For the time being, I've found my calling. I like helping folks understand these things more. I do have to ask though, did you search for the answers to anything of these things, or did you just assume they are as they are? If you are truly worried about computer security, stop the System Restore junk as you may ruin your machine completely if something gets in there you don't know about and download Malwarebytes and dont use traditional AV software.

I haven't had a compromised machine in 16 years, I'm willing to say confidently, I've become one of the best at know the Do's and Don'ts which is why I made a career of it. Let me help you pweeeeese :p
 
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BeautifulSniper

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WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Are you still using IE?! I'm not going to say anything else bc I'm genuinely interested by you're still using IE. You might as well be a bug zapper light for exploits, various security holes, glitches, incompatibilities, etc
I had no idea anybody could still use IE. I thought it transferred everybody to Edge.
 

ib4

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I had no idea anybody could still use IE. I thought it transferred everybody to Edge.
I think in some cases it does, but it can still be used. We have a handful of people at my company that can use it for a specific outdated application. But we have it super tightened down with GPOs and web filter policies
 
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CoprophagousCop

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You just set off many small explosions in my brain...
🤯:roflmao:

BTW your tab switch solution in Chrome is CTRL+SHIFT+CLICK.
Thanks! I never knew about this. I was going to also mention that I did not like Chrome because it does not have menu bar from which I can choose actions I want to perform. Chrome requires memorizing a bunch of shortcut keys.

is like saying, I lock the door every night after I let the murderer into my house. You are gaining ZERO protection from this method and in fact INCREASING your vulnerabilities by doing so.
Fortunately, I am not using Windows System Restore. (I did not even know it existed.) I am using a third party product that essentially freezes the contents of my hard drive, so the restoration is done automatically every time I reboot. If I want to install software permanently, I have to temporarily disable this software. I have never had any damage caused by a virus or malware. The downside is that I need to copy any data I want to save to an external drive before I shut down my computer, which I have forgotten to do a few times.

A hard drive could never be READ-ONLY as it is almost always being written to by something. If I understand it right, software often times needs to generate resources locally as they are being used in the software.
I did not say hard drives should be completely read-only. They should have a physical switch that allows the human user to switch them between read-only and writable modes. Obviously, when you want to install something permanently, you would switch off its read-only mode. I am fully aware that some software requires mutable configuration information to be stored on a hard drive. Windows has a huge freaking registry for this purpose (a bad idea in my opinion). The solution is thus to have multiple hard drives connected to ones system. This should not be much of an issue for modern, solid state drives. Ideally, the operating system would be stored on a dedicated drive and ideally the operating system would be written to minimize the amount of configuration information that needs to change regularly. (Windows fails stupendously at this.) A second hard drive could be used to store applications and the applications (and operating system) should be written so that any configuration or document information could be stored on a third hard drive that remains writeable. Only this writeable drive would need to be regularly backed-up. Obviously, one downside is that software updates would have to be done manually, or at least, require a human to temporarily switch the necessary hard drive to writeable. However, much of the updates are for antivirus software, which would no longer be necessary. Finally, while I am on the subject of security, most viruses would never get anywhere if web browsers were written more intelligently as to never run machine code that it downloads.

I know I have strong opinions about these things and I know I do not have all of the answers, but the way things are done currently is clearly not the best. I believe all applications should be written and installed to function and exist independently of one another. Arduino did it correctly with their software, which although was written in Java, uses its own independent installation of the Java runtime engine. I cannot even install certain .NET applications on my computer, because the installer wants to update the .NET runtime engine and apparently there are always background processes using the .NET runtime engine, so these installations always hang. A few decades ago, sharing files was necessary to conserve the scarce hard drive space available. This is no longer an issue (and has not been for over a decade). If I have ten applications that all use the same runtime engine, then I should have ten independent copies of that runtime engine on my hard drive. The hard drive space cost savings are no longer worth the dependency headaches.

:colbert:
 

CoprophagousCop

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I had no idea anybody could still use IE. I thought it transferred everybody to Edge.
Automatic updates get rolled back every time I reboot, so maybe that is why it has never been installed on my computer which is still running Windows 8.1. I do have Edge on a Windows 10 computer, but I have never used it since I have never connected that computer to the internet. If Windows 11 requires an online connection, I may have to switch to a different operating system for my future machines.

EDIT: Oops! I double-posted! :fpalm: However, this is sort of a different topic than my previous post, so I rather not combine it. Maybe, I should have waited for some one else to insert a post in between. :thumbsup:
 
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ib4

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Fortunately, I am not using Windows System Restore. (I did not even know it existed.) I am using a third party product that essentially freezes the contents of my hard drive, so the restoration is done automatically every time I reboot. If I want to install software permanently, I have to temporarily disable this software. I have never had any damage caused by a virus or malware. The downside is that I need to copy any data I want to save to an external drive before I shut down my computer, which I have forgotten to do a few times.

There are still plenty of extremely effective security tools out there to avoid all this nonsense. This sounds like a literal pain in the ass.

I did not say hard drives should be completely read-only.

I didn't say you did, just elaborating on the topic.

They should have a physical switch that allows the human user to switch them between read-only and writable modes. Obviously, when you want to install something permanently, you would switch off its read-only mode. The solution is thus to have multiple hard drives connected to ones system. This should not be much of an issue for modern, solid state drives. Ideally, the operating system would be stored on a dedicated drive and ideally the operating system would be written to minimize the amount of configuration information that needs to change regularly. (Windows fails stupendously at this.) A second hard drive could be used to store applications and the applications (and operating system) should be written so that any configuration or document information could be stored on a third hard drive that remains writeable. Only this writeable drive would need to be regularly backed-up. Obviously, one downside is that software updates would have to be done manually, or at least, require a human to temporarily switch the necessary hard drive to writeable. However, much of the updates are for antivirus software, which would no longer be necessary. Finally, while I am on the subject of security, most viruses would never get anywhere if web browsers were written more intelligently as to never run machine code that it downloads.

I know I have strong opinions about these things and I know I do not have all of the answers, but the way things are done currently is clearly not the best. I believe all applications should be written and installed to function and exist independently of one another. Arduino did it correctly with their software, which although was written in Java, uses its own independent installation of the Java runtime engine. I cannot even install certain .NET applications on my computer, because the installer wants to update the .NET runtime engine and apparently there are always background processes using the .NET runtime engine, so these installations always hang. A few decades ago, sharing files was necessary to conserve the scarce hard drive space available. This is no longer an issue (and has not been for over a decade). If I have ten applications that all use the same runtime engine, then I should have ten independent copies of that runtime engine on my hard drive. The hard drive space cost savings are no longer worth the dependency headaches.

:colbert:

Exhaustive!
There are so many other effective solutions for all this nowadays. But HEY, it is always best that you do what makes you happy and comfortable with your systems!

Double postings like this aren't too bad. Its when noobs are just double posting nonsense and clearly ignoring every other aspect of this place lol
 
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BeautifulSniper

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Automatic updates get rolled back every time I reboot, so maybe that is why it has never been installed on my computer which is still running Windows 8.1. I do have Edge on a Windows 10 computer, but I have never used it since I have never connected that computer to the internet. If Windows 11 requires an online connection, I may have to switch to a different operating system for my future machines.

EDIT: Oops! I double-posted! :fpalm: However, this is sort of a different topic than my previous post, so I rather not combine it. Maybe, I should have waited for some one else to insert a post in between. :thumbsup:
You are way too paranoid about the internet.
 
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CoprophagousCop

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There are still plenty of extremely effective security tools out there to avoid all this nonsense. This sounds like a literal pain in the ass.
My security method is extremely effective and I do not consider it to be nonsense. It is really the simplest security one could have. Having antivirus scanners hogging resources and worrying about having the latest antivirus updates sounds like more of a pain to me. Obviously, you will disagree with me, given that your livelihood depends on computer security being so complex that it requires a specialist like yourself.

You are way too paranoid about the internet.
It seems like every month you hear about a large computer system being hacked and its data either stolen or held for ransom. I think most of this could be avoided if measures were taken to minimize access to data and more intelligently written web browsers were developed.

I use a dedicated computer to play music that was all copied from audio CDs. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason for me to connect this particular computer to the internet, which would then raise the issue of security. An operating system that forces me to connect to the internet is useless for this type of application. I find most of the "Internet of Things" to be silly and useless.
 

ib4

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My security method is extremely effective and I do not consider it to be nonsense.

FIRST OFF, I apologize for saying "nonsense" that word didn't accurately describe what I was trying to say, I genuinely don't mean to belittle your efforts. I'm as impressed as I am just very wanting folks like yourself to see the light in how simple personal endpoint security actually is. I havent been compromised in over a decade and I don't do a tenth of what you're doing because it isn't necessarily needed. However, it being a personal decision and it being effective security wise, not necessarily productivity wise, doesn't make it wrong or ineffective.

It is really the simplest security one could have.

I would say this is an opinion and not a fact because again, there is strong security you can obtain with much less effort. There will always be residual risk, you can never get rid of residual risk. There's a certain amount of residual risk the average consumer can afford to live with. Its very hard to keep minimizing residual risk without adding unnecessary tasks to the process and daily use of the machine.

Having antivirus scanners hogging resources and worrying about having the latest antivirus updates sounds like more of a pain to me. Obviously, you will disagree with me, given that your livelihood depends on computer security being so complex that it requires a specialist like yourself.

You are right, AV is trash and a hog. But I do disagree overall because AV is not the only answer. It doesn't take being a specialist to know about the very popular consumer product Malwarebytes. Malwarebytes is arguably the most robust, powerful, and resource spared EDRs there is. I have favored this, as many have, for years because there is virtually no impact on high performance applications when this thing is in full swing. It also offers outstanding browser protection and even has outstanding anti rootkit abilities.

It seems like every month you hear about a large computer system being hacked and its data either stolen or held for ransom. I think most of this could be avoided if measures were taken to minimize access to data and more intelligently written web browsers were developed.

Not exactly. Most attacks are perpetrated via Social Engineering, more specifically, SE > Email Phishing. I spend almost as much time teaching associates at my company about preventing social engineering and phishing attempts. One of many REF: HERE "The most common way that a business will encounter the full rogue’s gallery of cyberattack threats like ransomware or business email compromise attacks is through a phishing email that makes its way past email security and into an employee inbox"

People need to be connected to do things, especially in the work environment. You are very correct in the way that you treat your PC like a wide open door to your digital world and network bc it is. Incidentally, in order to use a computer to its potential, or in the average daily life, it has to be usable, accessible, and accessible the LAN. This is why everything going on locally should be the last line of defense. The first line of defense is actually the human themselves and the way they navigate their machine on a daily basis. I'll use me as an example again. The reason I haven't been compromised in over a decade is simply because I know what to and not to do. IMO there is no such thing as an accident when using your computer. You can learn what to do, and what not to do, and what not to risk, very easily. Again, you will never be able to avoid residual risk, but once one realizes they aren't that special and its highly unlikely someone is ever going to go out of their way to target them, almost all of ones personal computer and LAN security can come purely from personal decisions while navigating your electronics on a daily basis.

I don't disagree with you about IoT, I look at them more as bonus features one is willing to run risk with. Thanks to Amazon for confirming that to us when they auto-enrolled everyone in their current experiment where your Amazon devices now emit and accessible AP for people around your home to freely connect to and gain data throughput.
 
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maddymayy

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Hello y’all. I have to say that narcissistic people are driving me insane, and I have two in my family. The dramas, the tantrums, the histrionics, the manipulative games, the psycho meltdowns, the abuse, the insults… I’m so fucking over it. Plus, they sincerely believe COVID did not real. These people think that that the whole world is WRONG, and they’re completely RIGHT - ALL THE TIME. It’s pure insanity trying to communicate with those people, so currently I’m in a ‘block them all’ mode… They are way too, too much to deal with.
STRAIGHT BLOOD IN THIS BIIIIII
 
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Dark Fader

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What if I told you that you didn't have to be around anyone you don't want to be around?
(unless you are in jail)

Seems to me that a lot of people bitching about narcissists keep getting stuck in the same situation bitching about narcissists, and other fucked up people, over and over again because that's what they are used to. Or that is how their family dynamic was when they were young.

If you are stuck in a relationship with someone that has a fancy term for their behavior, then it's probably not their fault ... but likely yours for getting stuck in that position in the first place.
 
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CoprophagousCop

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What if I told you that you didn't have to be around anyone you don't want to be around?
(unless you are in jail)
This is not entirely true. Besides having to grow up with a narcissist for an older brother, I have had to work with narcissists on more than one occasion. Sure, I have a choice in that I could have quit my job, but this usually is not a practical choice and would have its own negative consequences. Furthermore, you cannot know the personalities of your coworkers and bosses before working with them, so you could wind up in the same situation in your next job. Moving out of a living situation is not always easy either. Even if you cannot stand a particular person, you may be dependent on that person financially. It is hard to advance yourself when there is a narcissist actively trying to hold you back. If you have never been in this situation, then consider yourself lucky. For the rest of us, life sucks.


@ib4 I am finally back on topic. :clap:
 
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Dark Fader

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This is not entirely true. Besides having to grow up with a narcissist for an older brother, I have had to work with narcissists on more than one occasion. Sure, I have a choice in that I could have quit my job, but this usually is not a practical choice and would have its own negative consequences. Furthermore, you cannot know the personalities of your coworkers and bosses before working with them, so you could wind up in the same situation in your next job. Moving out of a living situation is not always easy either. Even if you cannot stand a particular person, you may be dependent on that person financially. It is hard to advance yourself when there is a narcissist actively trying to hold you back. If you have never been in this situation, then consider yourself lucky. For the rest of us, life sucks.


@ib4 I am finally back on topic. :clap:

lol ... every scenario you brought up was your decision to be around them.
I do see your point, but it's still kind of sketchy.

If I'm involved with someone i straight up don't like, even at work, or family ... i leave. It's not like I'm forced to be around them.
Your job must suck ass if you are forced to be around various people with psychodramtic tendencies.
 

RebelBuddha

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All these computer geeks and nobody can code a self closing thread after a determinate period of time to prevent Necro posting.

Not that I personally have a problem with Necro posts. I mean who gives a shit right?

But for some reason the rules here are kind of made to prevent participaation and instead flex power and knowledge. Like a narc... Narcis... You know... The thing.
 

ib4

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All these computer geeks and nobody can code a self closing thread after a determinate period of time to prevent Necro posting.

Not that I personally have a problem with Necro posts. I mean who gives a shit right?

But for some reason the rules here are kind of made to prevent participaation and instead flex power and knowledge. Like a narc... Narcis... You know... The thing.

This kind of feature does exist for Xenforo.

I like you sometimes @RebelBuddha but other times, I'm wondering what you're on about. Doesn't the mere fact that we leave old posts open, and are OK with people adding worthwhile contributions to old posts mean we literally welcome participation, old and new? Doesn't your suggestion actually prevent participation?

From the rules page:
"NECRO-POSTING - This is when you post within a long dead (old) thread. Especially without contributing anything of substance to it. If you must contribute to an aging thread, be damn sure your contribution makes it worth the read, and the thread is still viable. "

The thing that most forum owners/staff know: typically the only people necro posting are local forum noobs. The other thing we know about LFNs is that they are usually trying to gain a post count when they arrive. Unfortunately they lack a mind of interesting things to talk about in the moment, so they lazily search for the nearest thing to barely respond to.

I have always been a person who has had a problem with authority, heck, even my views on the world don't come near to matching some of the staffs and owners! One thing I know though, this whole team is always aiming for a safe, welcoming, and comfortable home for folks to reside in. I was fortunate enough to own my own website with a custom made forum and 15k members when I first started in the inter-webz and programming world...and I can assure you, we all wish it was as easy as, 'let them come and talk as they please'. But it never is.

P.S. WTF!? Staff, I luhhh all you :beer:
 
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