I can't make it a novel...i'm stuck.


Banned - What an Asshat!
Return to Auschwitz
As I stand before the gates of hell, I can still see the horrific sights that once surrounded me. I am engulfed by the memories. It may have been nearly 60 years, but I can still smell flesh burning and hear the screams of tortured souls as yet another loved one is killed brutally and without cause. When I was last here, I was looking out and wishing for freedom, but now, as I return to Auschwitz, I am waiting to go in and relive the horrors of my past. * (pause)*
“Hanna, get out of bed. Hurry! We have to leave. Take only what you need.”
“But why mother? It’s so early. The sun isn’t even out yet.”
“Don’t ask; just do as you’re told. Hurry!” I felt my way through the thick darkness. Even though there was no light, the star on my shirt shone clear and bright. As a Jew, I had to wear it, it was a badge of dishonor meant to exile us for our religion. I threw on my shoes and grabbed my young sister, Abby, while my mother took Abby’s twin, Caleb. I knew what was happening. The secret police were coming and we were running. Mother and Father had been hiding things for months now in preparation. We all knew what the concentration camps held in store for us if we were caught. (Pause) I didn’t dare make a sound as I walked the streets in the dark, wet night. During the day, I would have no fear, but at night, you never know who may be against you.
“Show me your papers.” Ordered a bellowing voice that belonged to a tall man. I knew right away that I must not let him know who I really was. I moved Abby so that she covered my star and took out my fake papers as I tuned towards him. I handed the papers over. He read them in what dim light there was. I prayed that he wouldn’t deem them fake and take me away. He smiled down at me and said,
“It’s awful late for you to be out Fraulin. These streets are not safe for you and your daughter. Where are you going?”
“My daughter is very ill. She must see a doctor right away.” I didn’t dare correct him.
“That is too bad. I hope that she feels well again soon.”
“Thank you.” He tipped his hat and I continued on my way. “Thank you Lord.” I said under my breath. I found my way to the hiding place. When I opened the door, two men grabbed me. Our friends who were going to hide us had been found out. I heard the two men talk over my head. It was as if they thought I didn’t know German, even though I grew up in Frankfurt.
“Where should this one go?”
“With the others I suppose. The Father will go to Ravensbruck. Maybe they can get some work out of him. The rest will be sent to Burgen Belsen on the next train.”
“I don’t see why they waste good rail cars on such filth. Make them walk.”
“You know though, this one here has some real potential.”
“Yeah, she does.” Their laughter filled the tiny space. I shuddered to think what they meant. The next day, as they said, we were taken to a nearby railroad station.
“Father, I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“I know. But I will never really leave you. Just think of me and I will be there. In your heart.” Then he turned to mother.
“Dear, take heart, we will be together again one day.” Mother broke into sobs.
“I know. They can split us up, but as long as we have faith and love, we will always be together.” They hugged and then were torn apart as Father was thrown onto one car and we were no more gently put on another. (Pause)
“Are you on your way to Burgen Belsen?” I asked a girl nearby.
“No. Auschwitz.” The whole car grew silent. We all knew that that was going to be her last stop. (Pause) At Burgen Belsen, we stepped off the train and were crammed into small makeshift shelters. That is until they were ready to move us to a new place. But at least Mother, Caleb, Abby and I were together. Three weeks later, I was taken away to Flossenburg. Flossenburg was a hellish place. I stepped off the train and was immediately forced into a work house. *BAM* A young man was shot.
“Unless you want to join him, get to work.” ordered the man with the gun. Every day I saw someone killed for collapsing of exhaustion. Here, there was often little or no food and we were cramped at all times. We didn’t dare complain for we were far too afraid. Mother, the twins and I were reunited 3 months after our separation. We spent the next year at Flossenburg. Then one day, the fateful order came.
“All the women and children in house 223 are to be taken to Auschuwitz on a death march.”
The march stretched on for weeks. By the time we arrived at Auschwitz, our number had decreased by half. The second we were inside, our hair was cut to make socks for German solders and stuff their pillows. All we could do now was wait to die. The smell of the crematory filled my senses with the putrid odor of burning flesh. The sky was constantly filled with ash. So much so that day seemed to be night. There was no food anywhere in the camp. Day and night, there was no escape from this nightmare. (Pause)
“Mother, Abby looks flushed and has a fever.”
“I know. Caleb does too.” A week later, they took their last breaths. Mother wouldn’t let go.
“No! Not my babies. Damn all you who have brought this upon us. What have we done to you?! Ohhhhhh! My babies.” She kissed them each on the forehead and said a prayer over them. In the morning, she was taken away. I never saw Mother again. Father and I were finally reunited when he was taken to Auschwitz. I told him what had happened and he wept and said,
“I had hoped against it, but knew it was fate.” (pause) In January of 1945, 4 years after this whole ordeal started, we were liberated by what is now Russia. My father died a few weeks later because of severe dehydration and malnutrition despite the doctors’ best efforts. But at least he died warm in his bed instead of cold in Hades’ grasp. *(Pause)* I got to live a full life, and for that I am thankful. Now, nearly 60 years later, I stand before the gates of Auschwitz. All my fears and memories flood me. My pulse quickens to think that any moment I may be taken to my grave or worse, the experimental hospital. To this day I’m sure that’s where they took mother. Lord knows what atrocities they inflicted upon her. Rest her soul. Our group enters through the heavy archway to the past. I tell my grandchildren, Caleb and Abby, of the images that have plagued me for years. I have told my story, so please, keep my tale in your heart and never let it go.