You can't possibly drink that much... After that much rum and 5 shots, it's nighty night with a side of alchohol poisening...
I suggest actually trying to drink that much without ending up in a hospital/dead.
Oh no? Do you even know what absinthe is? I'll have you know I didn't even throw up that night. Your a big man for calling me out?
OMG WTF You didn't drink that much, you couldn't have, unless you're a russian, which you AREN'T! So drop the facade, you have been e-disproven.
You want to disprove me? Bring it son (for legality reasons, please be over 21, or at least over 15). Show me that I'm lying. Show me that I should be dead. Alcohol poisening means nothing to me. I've had lysol sprayed down my throat while I was passed out because my unconscious vomiting made me smell bad. I can rememeber blacking out in one town and waking up the next morning in a town 15 miles away.
Do you even know who I am? I'm your mother fucking H-E-R-O. I'll be the one kicking your ass in beer pong. I'll be the one dancing with your girlfriend. I'll be the one tapping a new keg at 1 AM when you and your pussy friends are to tired or drunk to continue.
I'll drop the facade once you can prove me wrong. Put your money where your mouth is, and I'll be the one driving you to the hospital because the tequila don't sit right.