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I feel like shit

durtytoothbrush

no piggy no!!!
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#1
So i was dating a really sweet guy that wanted to commit way before I did. It really really creeped me out. We dated for about 6 weeks, and 2 weeks in he says that he loves me. I told him that I didn't love him, and didn't know if I would because it was way to soon. He said, " I believe that love should be unconditional. If you had to love me for me to love you, it wouldn't be unconditional so it doesn't change the way I feel". (good line guys, write it down ). He was so sweet but I just was way overwhelmed so I did the immature thing and stopped calling him and taking his calls.
about a week later i met up with my friend and her neighbors, all of which I've know for a very long time. ONe of them used to be chubby, but slimmed down about a year ago. I found myself being very attracted to him and after a drunk day at the river in which we were flirting relentlessly, we had sex. It was so good, and before him I hadn't had sex for 18 months. We continued to sleep together, naturally, and after about the 3rd or 4th time I asked him what he wanted out of it. He said he didn't want a relationship. I was really pissed at first because we had known one another for so long that I couldn't dream that he would use me like that. THen again i feel like I can't be mad at him because we didn't really discuss anything about it, or set boundaries or anything. I also know that he had a girlfriend that cheated on him and hurt him really badly about a year ago. I am mad but I understand at the same time, I just wish i could hate him because that emotion is easier to deal with. He also used to be fat so I think he is trying to show the world what he can get. It's like he's taking revenge on me instead of the cheerleader in high school that told him to go sit in a corner and eat a twinkie. Then again maybe i deserve it for not being interested in him until he was thinner.
The worst part is that I can't care for a guy that really is infatuated with me and I want to be with a guy that used me. Guess that makes me a dumb bitch tonight.
 

ericman123

CEO of the internet
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#2
durtytoothbrush said:
So i was dating a really sweet guy that wanted to commit way before I did. It really really creeped me out. We dated for about 6 weeks, and 2 weeks in he says that he loves me. I told him that I didn't love him, and didn't know if I would because it was way to soon. He said, " I believe that love should be unconditional. If you had to love me for me to love you, it wouldn't be unconditional so it doesn't change the way I feel". (good line guys, write it down ). He was so sweet but I just was way overwhelmed so I did the immature thing and stopped calling him and taking his calls.
about a week later i met up with my friend and her neighbors, all of which I've know for a very long time. ONe of them used to be chubby, but slimmed down about a year ago. I found myself being very attracted to him and after a drunk day at the river in which we were flirting relentlessly, we had sex. It was so good, and before him I hadn't had sex for 18 months. We continued to sleep together, naturally, and after about the 3rd or 4th time I asked him what he wanted out of it. He said he didn't want a relationship. I was really pissed at first because we had known one another for so long that I couldn't dream that he would use me like that. THen again i feel like I can't be mad at him because we didn't really discuss anything about it, or set boundaries or anything. I also know that he had a girlfriend that cheated on him and hurt him really badly about a year ago. I am mad but I understand at the same time, I just wish i could hate him because that emotion is easier to deal with. He also used to be fat so I think he is trying to show the world what he can get. It's like he's taking revenge on me instead of the cheerleader in high school that told him to go sit in a corner and eat a twinkie. Then again maybe i deserve it for not being interested in him until he was thinner.
The worst part is that I can't care for a guy that really is infatuated with me and I want to be with a guy that used me. Guess that makes me a dumb bitch tonight.
Not so much a dumb bitch, more like somone who learns from their mistakes.
Then again, the whole two weeks and he loves you concept is kind of awkward. Especially when you take into consideration that he barely even knew you. Maybe it's just a sign of immature love, something that should only be taken for what it is; fun but not forever.

Don't be so hard on yourself.
 

Shadow_Demon

Lord of Shadows
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#3
Well as a guy I can say that what happened is just as normal to us guys. Went throught a similar ordeal my self only the sexual roles were reversed. All I can say is that it is normal for a person to be frightened of someone who takes very highg interest in them so suddenly and then be also attracted to another who has no care what so ever about them. I do however know that even though you "dont care" for the guy who has apparently falled for you, you must realize that you probably feel that way out of a certain natural fear of being hurt, all people have it, so dont worry it is normal. Anyways becuase of that you are uncertain of how you would truely feel for that person if they had not been so sudden about how they feel for you.

Take my advice dont forget that even though he probably shocked the living hell out of you he might just be the best thing that could happen to you.
 
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#4
ericman123 said:
Not so much a dumb bitch, more like somone who learns from their mistakes.
Then again, the whole two weeks and he loves you concept is kind of awkward. Especially when you take into consideration that he barely even knew you. Maybe it's just a sign of immature love, something that should only be taken for what it is; fun but not forever.

Don't be so hard on yourself.
Woa, took the words out of my mouth. I need to start posting in threads earlier. But well said nonetheless.
 
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#5
someone saying they love you 2 weeks in, really makes one question love dosen't it. like how the hell could he love you if he barely knows you? but then again, some people just run with the moments, and never look back. i can totally understand about you freekin though, i'd do the same. although, i may have handled it a bit different then you did. as for the friend, if you slept together a few times, should that really mean anything? nothing discussed, nothing clearified. so i can't really he used you. you both got what you wanted, both satisfied, so where was the using?
sorry about losing the good guy. call him back and explain what happened. honesty is your friend, who knows maybe he'll get over it and turn out to be one of the best relationships you ever had.
 

lynduhland

Prone to Bad Karma
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#6
I agree, don't give yourself a hard time over it. You were turned off by how fast the relationship was moving. I have this whole theory on how women need the chase sometimes just to be interested in the relationship. The more easily and readily available a guy makes himself for you kills the game a bit. But the guy that has a bit of mystery keeps an appeal. Plus think about it this way, if you felt creeped out during the relationship that image wouldn't have changed until you got out of it.
 

ericman123

CEO of the internet
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#7
DizzyOwnzj00 said:
Woa, took the words out of my mouth. I need to start posting in threads earlier. But well said nonetheless.
Thanks