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If I only had a...

ferengi

Yay fire!
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#1
I'm sure most of you have seen or at least heard of The Wizard of Oz, and know of the song the Scarecrow sings, "If I only had a brain."

Here's the lyrics to the original song, just for reference:
I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin' you could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
Well, I was sitting here bored as hell, so for no particular reason whatsoever, I wrote a parody of it. This song would be sung if there was a character in the Wizard of Oz who just wants the one thing every guy has...

If I Only had a Dick.

If it isn't any trouble, if it will not burst your bubble
Or make me look like a prick.
Oh I'd really love to do ya, bend you over and then screw ya
If I only had a dick.
I don't have the right equipments, to deliver special shipments
Of the white stuff, really thick.
I'd be hard, I'd be cummin', oh my crotch I would be strummin'
If I only had a dick!
Oh I would feel so fine if I could cum just once.
Having the package of a man would be a bunce.
But I don't, so I'm a dunce.
When it comes to woman pleasin', it's only right to reason
That you need one, long and thick.
I could do that all night long, with a chick to ride my shlong
If I only had a dick.
 
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#2
Interesting song. Not a bad parody, and quite funny. :thumbsup:
Although, I am curious. Do you have random thoughts like this often?

BTW: I will talk to the wizard. Maybe, he can find you a dick. :thumbsup:
 

ferengi

Yay fire!
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#3
Taylor_Blade said:
Do you have random thoughts like this often?
Only when I'm extremely bored... I think up some wierd shit sometimes.
Taylor_Blade said:
BTW: I will talk to the wizard. Maybe, he can find you a dick. :thumbsup:
Thanks dude, you're a life saver! When mine fell off from banging so many chicks I thought my life was over with. :(
 
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#4
ferengi74656 said:
Thanks dude, you're a life saver! When mine fell off from banging so many chicks I thought my life was over with. :(

Have no fear. I'm sure the wizard has a old, used one around somewhere. What size do you need?
 

10 stars

Enraged before the storm
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#7
taylor, give him the biggest one you can get, he needs an ego booster.
 
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#8
10 stars said:
taylor, give him the biggest one you can get, he needs an ego booster.
The wizard says: "He shall do his best." :thumbsup:

Note the wizard said it, not Taylor. Taylor will go nowhere near this problem.

*shudders without control*
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
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#10
That song is saying what a lot of a men who post here are thinking "If I only had a dick"!