WTF ... IS WTF!?
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In-laws

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#1
I love my wife. I Like most of my wife's family. But, her two bitch sisters and her mother need to seek therapy. Every time I see them, visions of my hands around their throats dance in my head. Mmm...

The younger sister was sickly as a child, so she's this monster hypochondriac. She also thinks that she has to be treated like "the baby" to this day, even though she's something like 30. She's one of these people who has nothing to contribute to any conversation, but she talks like 10 decibels louder than everyone else to make herself seem important. When she gets backed into a corner, her response is, "Well, I have a Master's degree." So? WTF is that supposed to mean? From what I can tell, she missed a few classes. I always tell her to see if she can get her money back. She's less offensive and easier to deal with when alone, but she always, always sides with mom and older sister to make my wife feel bad.

The older sister is even worse. She was apparently crowned Queen Bitch of the Universe; I obviously missed her coronation, which seems to annoy her. Controlling (she wears the penis in her own marriage), mothering, critical, and incredibly selfish. I mean, she and her son (shithead) come to my daughter's 3rd birthday party and she acts like the whole event is for her kid. I wanted to beat her freakin' face in. Her husband is so pussy-whipped that he doesn't even have an opinion of his own. Ask this pinhead a question and he looks at his wife for the answer. He has no balls at all. I guess that's why my wife always catches her looking at my package. Spooky. The worst part is that she seems to think that it's her place to run our lives, as well as the lives of the other 200 million people in this country. She waits to get my wife alone, then starts running her mouth about what a bad guy I am. I am the sole source of income for our family, we all have plenty to eat, our children are healthy and happy, we own our home, my wife is finishing her degree instead of working; yeah, she's right. I am a bad guy.

These people are masters of using guilt. Damned Catholics...They come by it honestly, though; their mother is a freakin' manic-depressive who uses guilt for everything. Their father is an alcoholic; go figure. The two sisters run to mommy every time something doesn't go their way, expecting her to lay the guilt on my wife (or whomever). Grow the fuck up, bitch! I mean, you have a problem, address it. Don't run to your parents expecting it to do anything but piss people off.

So, we decide that we'd like my wife's brother (a really cool, laid-back guy) and his wife (uber-cool retro chick) to be the godparents for our daughter, instead of big sister. More Catholic bruhaha, but I can deal with this. Then, the older sister flips out and calls up the whole world to tell how I am just trying to spite her because I don't like her. When I first heard about this I giggled my MF-ing ass off, but then my mother-in-law called my wife "just to talk" and lay on a hefty serving of guilt. She was so disappointed that we had not picked the sister, blah, blah, blah. Gosh, I guess my wife should now be pissed that she isn't shithead's godmother, huh? Bah! I don't care enough about her or the rest of that family to go out of my way to make any of them mad. Older sis was a bitch all of Easter weekend because she didn't get her way and the guilt didn't make us change our minds. If I had my way, we would not deal with any of that Catholic crap at all. I'm sure that would cause a rip in the very fabric of space-time, though.

Anyway, I can't believe those people. Who the Hell do they think they are? What makes them think they have any say at all in what goes on with our family? What gives them the right? Why can't I just remove them from the gene pool? :mfinger: :confused: :gun:
 

Chris

Sick Bastard
375
0
0
#4
I say: kill them! Do the world a favour! They do nothing but poluting other people's lives! :mfinger: "mommy"in-law, :mfinger: sister in-law, :mfinger: sister in-law(2)...hehe! Your turn to bitch with them! Fight fire with fire! An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth! Evil shall be defeated with evil!
 
1,102
2
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#6
Wow. That's what I'm talking about. I think that's the sort of thing we're supposed to be doing here, right? Great rant. As for inlaws - they're all fucking crazy. And though moms and twisted older sisters are generally good at turning on the guilt - no one does it quite like a Catholic mother-in-law. Enjoy.
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#7
Chris said:
I say: kill them! Do the world a favour! They do nothing but poluting other people's lives! :mfinger: "mommy"in-law, :mfinger: sister in-law, :mfinger: sister in-law(2)...hehe! Your turn to bitch with them! Fight fire with fire! An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth! Evil shall be defeated with evil!
I like evil...
 

shep

Local alcoholic
1,853
8
38
#9
ron said:
I love my wife. I Like most of my wife's family. But, her two bitch sisters and her mother need to seek therapy. Every time I see them, visions of my hands around their throats dance in my head. Mmm...

The younger sister was sickly as a child, so she's this monster hypochondriac. She also thinks that she has to be treated like "the baby" to this day, even though she's something like 30. She's one of these people who has nothing to contribute to any conversation, but she talks like 10 decibels louder than everyone else to make herself seem important. When she gets backed into a corner, her response is, "Well, I have a Master's degree." So? WTF is that supposed to mean? From what I can tell, she missed a few classes. I always tell her to see if she can get her money back. She's less offensive and easier to deal with when alone, but she always, always sides with mom and older sister to make my wife feel bad.

The older sister is even worse. She was apparently crowned Queen Bitch of the Universe; I obviously missed her coronation, which seems to annoy her. Controlling (she wears the penis in her own marriage), mothering, critical, and incredibly selfish. I mean, she and her son (shithead) come to my daughter's 3rd birthday party and she acts like the whole event is for her kid. I wanted to beat her freakin' face in. Her husband is so pussy-whipped that he doesn't even have an opinion of his own. Ask this pinhead a question and he looks at his wife for the answer. He has no balls at all. I guess that's why my wife always catches her looking at my package. Spooky. The worst part is that she seems to think that it's her place to run our lives, as well as the lives of the other 200 million people in this country. She waits to get my wife alone, then starts running her mouth about what a bad guy I am. I am the sole source of income for our family, we all have plenty to eat, our children are healthy and happy, we own our home, my wife is finishing her degree instead of working; yeah, she's right. I am a bad guy.

These people are masters of using guilt. Damned Catholics...They come by it honestly, though; their mother is a freakin' manic-depressive who uses guilt for everything. Their father is an alcoholic; go figure. The two sisters run to mommy every time something doesn't go their way, expecting her to lay the guilt on my wife (or whomever). Grow the fuck up, bitch! I mean, you have a problem, address it. Don't run to your parents expecting it to do anything but piss people off.

So, we decide that we'd like my wife's brother (a really cool, laid-back guy) and his wife (uber-cool retro chick) to be the godparents for our daughter, instead of big sister. More Catholic bruhaha, but I can deal with this. Then, the older sister flips out and calls up the whole world to tell how I am just trying to spite her because I don't like her. When I first heard about this I giggled my MF-ing ass off, but then my mother-in-law called my wife "just to talk" and lay on a hefty serving of guilt. She was so disappointed that we had not picked the sister, blah, blah, blah. Gosh, I guess my wife should now be pissed that she isn't shithead's godmother, huh? Bah! I don't care enough about her or the rest of that family to go out of my way to make any of them mad. Older sis was a bitch all of Easter weekend because she didn't get her way and the guilt didn't make us change our minds. If I had my way, we would not deal with any of that Catholic crap at all. I'm sure that would cause a rip in the very fabric of space-time, though.

Anyway, I can't believe those people. Who the Hell do they think they are? What makes them think they have any say at all in what goes on with our family? What gives them the right? Why can't I just remove them from the gene pool? :mfinger: :confused: :gun:

Fuck em or use a 12 gauge buckshot and ask skorch how to clean it up :mfinger:
 

shep

Local alcoholic
1,853
8
38
#10
Here from skortch: I didn't bother reading this whole thread, but if it's body disposal then I can offer my modest advice. What you need is to rent a motel room with a tub in it, get a hacksaw (or if possible, a bone saw), lots of heavy duty garbage bags, some rubber gloves, one of those little masks that cover your mouth and nose because it's gonna stink, and sawdust. A car with a nice trunk is also handy, and if you have a weak stomach, keep a separate bag for your vomit because you do not want to be mixing that in with the evidence. A hammer for removing the teeth is also good, but with dna identification nowadays it is really little more than a delay tactic if you can't find yourself a nice big incinerator. Make sure you line the tub with plastic carefully before you go to work so that it can be removed afterwards and a minimum gets left on the tub surface itself. Then you may want to coat the tub with ammonia so that any dna left behind is useless for id-ing. If you really need me to go on, then all you need do is ask, but lets take this one step at a time. First, get the materials, and we'll take it from there.
 

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
3,891
0
0
#11
ron said:
She was apparently crowned Queen Bitch of the Universe; I obviously missed her coronation, which seems to annoy her.
:mfinger: :confused: :gun:


Holy shit!! That's good stuff! ROFLMFAO
 

Chris

Sick Bastard
375
0
0
#12
As I said, do the world a favour, a great one, and kill them. You might be given a few countries...
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#13
*UPDATE*

Well, after a week the spoiled little bitch still is not speaking to my wife. My wife is in high spirits and is more relaxed than I have seen her in a long time. W00t!
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
52
112
#14
ron said:
*UPDATE*

Well, after a week the spoiled little bitch still is not speaking to my wife. My wife is in high spirits and is more relaxed than I have seen her in a long time. W00t!
I would still kill them how far do you live from minnesota???
i know some bood bogs ... they shouldent find them there :rolleyes:
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#15
youknowthedeal said:
I would still kill them how far do you live from minnesota???
i know some bood bogs ... they shouldent find them there :rolleyes:
I'm near St. Louis. Maybe I could fly the bitch up there and push her out. Picture, if you will:

Me: Hey, I'm going to turn the plane so you get a better view.
Her: OK <looking doubtful>
Me: Is that a moose?
Her: Where? <pressed against the door>
Me: <leaning toward her>There!<pretending to point, but grabbing the door latch instead>
Her: I don't see it.
Me: No problem. Here, let me show you. <grabbing her harness latch while pushing her out the door>
Her: AIYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE...
Me: My bad.
 

buck~fush

Clitpickle
58
0
0
#16
ROFLMFAO! Holy shit, I could so see you doing that. "My bad....." ohhhhh man, I needed that... ;)