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Is my girlfriend's best guy friend literally her best guy?

00berdorq

Flame Bait
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#1
:confused: Alright, so here's the story... I met my girlfriend about 5 months ago, and we've been dating ever since without a problem in the relationship at all. We would have minor arguements, but just over stupid things that meant absolutely nothing. But I'd say around a month ago, maybe two, she met this Lebanese guy. Ever since, he's been hanging around her non-stop, he probably sees her more than I do. She even can understand his language now 'cause she's been hanging around him so much. Well, like every guy in a relationship would, I got jealous and suspicious. So I confronted her about it and asked her just what the hell was going on between her and this guy. Of course, her reply was nothing, that they were just friends. I confronted this guy too, and he said also that she just wanted to be friends.

The thing is, my girlfriend never told this guy that we were, in fact, together, which sorta bugged me. I had to come out and tell him myself. He said he knew she had a boyfriend, but he didn't know it was me. And that if he had, he would never have gotten so attached to my girlfriend. 'Cause he spent night and day with her, he waited for her to get off work and everything.

Ok, so he told me he wouldn't get so involved. Well blah, blah, blah.. I got things straightened out with my girlfriend. Yet, he's still hanging around her every chance he gets. He still waits around for her, still does everything he possibly can for her. It's getting on my nerves, I just want him to back the hell off and go find some other guy's girlfriend to stalk.

So what should I do? I know she's not cheating on me, 'cause both of them clearly stated they were just friends. And this Lebanese guy also admitted that she had said she just wanted to be friends. How do I get this guy to back off? He spends more time with my girlfriend than I do, and it's starting to really piss me off. I don't wanna talk to her anymore about this, 'cause I almost lost her the last time over jealousy. Tell me your thoughts on this and tell me just what the hell to do!

I've tried telling her that I don't trust this guy, that he spends too much of his time just waiting for her when she's told him that they're only friends. It's like he's trying to make her see that he's better than I am or something. She doesn't believe me when I say I think he's like a stalker almost.
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#2
Hmm, well it is good you talked to her, but unfortunately you can't go and tell him you don't trust him, because it will get back to her and it's back to you nearly losing her over jealously. It is a difficult situation, does he live near? Maybe you can see her more and take her out more so he doesn't get a chance too... Or maybe that you sloping to his level. I will think about it some more though.
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#3
Sticky situation indeed.

1- Beat the shit out of him
2- Break up with your girlfriend....but then he'd have his chance right?

I might be reading this wrong but it sounds like the guy's fucking around. He's obviously interested in her because nobody would ever be that attached to somebody without feeling strongly about the person. Which kinda brings your girlfriend to question. She might be denying it but she might have indulged in some thoughts herself. Not that there's anything wrong with that and not that you should be upset if she's just "thinking" about it.

MAN THIS IS FRUSTRATING!

I'm just afraid that they're stringing you along. Not telling you to not hurt your feelings and then WHAM! "Oh I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to hurt you but Mohammed and I are fooling around. I just didn't think you were ready to hear it" or perhaps "I didn't know how I was feeling and I guess I was just holding back but I really like him and I'm sorry I don't want to hurt you blah blah blah blah blah"

Just be careful hon, this could hurt.
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#4
Beat the crap out of him when he's alone then make like Reagan.

Deny, deny, deny.

I know it sounds pretty fucked up, but it may just be what's needed. Everyone knows the guy's not going to stop on his own.
 

bombchu

b-o-n-e-r
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#5
If your girlfriend does respect your relationship enough to understand that this bothers you, then I honestly don't think you should take her that seriously either.

And this friend of hers.
If someone told me to stop hanging out with his girlfriend because it was bothering him, I would back off. Man to man respect.

This guy obviously has no respect for you. You had the descency to not beat his ass straight up, and give him the "back the fuck up" talk.

He's still trying to "be friends" (yeah okay...) with your girlfriend.
I think that if I were in this situation I'd either beat his ass with a bat,
or beat his ass with a pipe. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
 
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#6
see i had this same problem, and it fucking blows. so what you do is understand the fact that they are just friends and thats ok. in the event though, that he does start to grab on her or w/e then it is fair grounds to ask her to set some limits with this guy. However, at the same time don't sound controlling or demanding, just ask and keep the situation light.

or you can do what i call "how do you like it" and you can start to talk with one of your girlfriends' girlfriends if you get the picture. Never actually screw around or w/e but just do it to the point that she shows some jealousy and be like "we're just friends" and so forth. then give her some of the, "o wait so you have a problem with me having friends, but its ok if you have some, hmmmmm" either way in both situation keep the mood quite light and the tone friendly.

finally, don't just start talking to her some day and that be the first thing that you bring up either, cuz then she will really consider just leaving you. Trust me, i would know.

btw if you do happen to find something out about them, then its fair grounds to beat the fuck out of the other guy, OR you can be the bigger man and just say fuck 'em.
 

bombchu

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The_Observer said:
or you can do what i call "how do you like it"
LOL.

Yeah go for this one before you beat his ass. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
 

00berdorq

Flame Bait
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#8
Thanks for all the advice, guys. I honestly don't think she's cheating on me, cause I've met this friend of hers and the guy has no sense of humor whatsoever, he's about as exciting as watching the grass grow. Since she's more goofy and just down right... weird sometimes, I really can't see them together too much. I've asked her straight out, why he hangs around her so much and she told me that she doesn't even ask him to, he just does. One time he waited for her for 4 hours to get off work... I asked her who the fuck does that, cause I'm her boyfriend and I don't even wait that long, I've got too much shit to do. She got pissed of course... saying "well maybe a nice guy would".

I don't know what to think about the whole situation really, there's different ways to look at it. 1) He's mildly obsessed with her and won't take 'no' for an answer. 2) They are, in fact, stringing me along. 3) They're just friends and he doesn't know when the hell to back off.

I'm thinking it's a little bit of 1 and 3... I'm going to have a little chat with him and tell him what I expect him to do. I'll say "Look, I don't care if you hang out with my girlfriend... but you don't need to be doing it 24/7. You don't need to be waiting for her to get off work, you don't need to be doing everything you possibly can for her. You're just her friend, accept it and back off." ...And if he doesn't, I'll have her tell him to back off and if he still doesn't... I'm gonna pull the "how do you like it" thing. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#9
Sounds good to me, It probably is either 1 or 3.



God, 2 haters today :rolleyes:
 

i_love_life

16/f/ca!!!1 omg!!1!!@!1
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#11
I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA


When hes about to hang out with her or whatever, you be there too, that way, she is forced to pick. Then, when she chooses to hang out with you, he might take the hint

But if she chooses to hang out with the lebanese dude, call her out, B!
 
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#12
no, i really don't think you should do that last one.
two reasons.

1) you already put her under a lot of stress right? she almost broke up with you over this this would really make her think about doing it. (wich by the way means that she doesn't like him because she would have left you a lot sooner)

2) thats just kind of immature