WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Jokes to offend everyone!!!!!

14
0
0
#1
A Chinese couple is in bed. The husband says I want 69. His wife says
"why you want Beef and Broccoli now?"

A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to
The husband and says "Let's send the kids out to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck.

How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one
blowing the foam off of his bedpan.

How can you tell if a girl is a redneck? She can suck a dick and
Chew tobacco at the same time, and know what to spit and what to
swallow.

Why don't Italians have acne?
It slides off.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong

What's the best thing about a blowjob?
10 minutes of peace and quiet.

Did you hear they came out with a new Selena doll?
Ken and Barbie needed a maid.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass?
A Mechanic.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
The other?
A Speech Impediment.

What do you call a German tampon?
A Twatstika.

Definition of a nice Greek Boy....
A Greek boy who takes a girl out twice before screwing her brother.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.

What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all.

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
NONE- He fell

Q. Why do men like to watch porno movies backward?
A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q. Why do women pierce their bellybutton?
A. Place to hang their air freshener.

Q. What is the first thing a blonde hears in the morning?
A. "See ya."

Q. What is the first thing a brunette hears in the morning?
A. "Sssshh. I have to call my wife."

Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A. The survivors were marooned.

Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.

Q: What is the generic name for Viagara?
A: Mycoxaphillin

Q. What is the difference between driving in the fog and 69-ing?
A. When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
5,438
87
142
#2
twatstika... thats funny...
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
0
0
#4
Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A. The survivors were marooned.
offensive?

i can understand the other racist or sexist ones being offensive to someone out there but who gets offended by boat jokes?
 

tw33k

Theoretical Realist
146
0
0
#5
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
 

Swid

Mentally Incarcerated
612
3
16
#6
tw33k said:
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
There is. In Hong Kong.
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
4,261
4
0
#7
void said:
offensive?

i can understand the other racist or sexist ones being offensive to someone out there but who gets offended by boat jokes?
Hey! My family was killed by a boat. I get very offended. :D
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
0
0
#8
tbsrk said:
Hey! My family was killed by a boat. I get very offended. :D

i'm sorry man..
red or blue?
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
1,415
0
0
#9
i was driving the red one, but i crashed into a one with pamela anderson nekkid.......wow you have a hot family:)
 

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#10
void said:
offensive?

i can understand the other racist or sexist ones being offensive to someone out there but who gets offended by boat jokes?
Damn you Void! I thought that the second I read it. And you beat me to it. Scumbag! :D
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
0
0
#11
littleone said:
Damn you Void! I thought that the second I read it. And you beat me to it. Scumbag! :D
no anti laos jokes either.. double bummer eh? :D
 

littleone

the short crazy one
140
0
0
#13
void said:
no anti laos jokes either.. double bummer eh? :D

See, the thing is, no one would get them here. They would be inside jokes for Laos people. And I would be the only ones laughing. Besides, they're mostly about food. No one here would get Laos food jokes, anyhow, I'm too cool for that. :cool:
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
0
0
#14
littleone said:
See, the thing is, no one would get them here. They would be inside jokes for Laos people. And I would be the only ones laughing. Besides, they're mostly about food. No one here would get Laos food jokes, anyhow, I'm too cool for that. :cool:
s'funny.. i heard a few laos jokes in thailand.. in si chiang mai, the thai city directly opposite vientiane on the mekong.. and then in vientiane i heard the same jokes but in reverse.. one was about spring rolls.. can't remember it now but it was funny..
in cambodia they didn't tell jokes.. :(
 
180
0
16
#15
How do you know when a girl is horny?

When you put your hand up their dress its like feeding a horse.
 

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
102
177
#16
How many polacks does it take to clean a toilet?
None, that's a black man's job.
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
1,488
11
102
#17
Q: What's the difference between snot and cauliflower?
A: Kids will eat snot.

Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow

Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis?
A: You don't have to beg your girlfriend to blow your paycheck.
 

Easty

Click click boom
5,564
8
68
#18
What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bricks?
Can't unload the bricks with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.

How do you drown a dumb blonde?
Stick a scratch 'n sniff to the bottom of a swimming pool.

What'd the banana say to the vibrator?
I don't know what you're shaking for, she's gonna eat me!

Did you go to that gay BBQ?
The hot dogs tastes like shit.