WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

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Nightrave

Humper of all >Evil
5
0
0
#1
This is the kind of day where i can spend hours on end just daydreaming about smothering this planet. I woke up 30mins late for uni, then my car decides to dump my remaning liters of fuel and stop completely in an upwards hill, heavy traffic. after about 40-50 mins i got the piece of shit to the top of the hill and got in, turned release the handbrake when someone tapped on my window.. Oh, hello there mister Five-Oh :mfinger: . i rolled down my window as he asked me what i was doing just sitting in my car on top of a highly trafficated road. I bit my lip trying not to think about my wallet with the driverslicense that i forgot home and just suck it up. "Oh, im so sorry for disturbing, i think my cars having a problem.. it wont start.." "hmm"says the copper.. "Give it a shot, maybe i can hear whats wrong" i sigh loudly and turn back to the steering wheel. flip the key and it starts with the most finely tuned humming sounds i have ever heard it make.. i look up at the cop and he just smiles, "Drivers license and registration plz". There i am without a shrivel of id and a mood that made my face resemble a tomato :mad: . the following was an incident i do not wish to go further into details about.. but the end is, my cars is towed in, i got a fine for using "extremely harsh language" against an officer of the law.. and another fine for assault against an officer(although i wouldnt say grabbing a guy and releasing your guts into his face is actually assault.. he just got a taste of what i had on my mind..) thats what they called it.. now im home wondering if i should bring my bat to the impound place.. then again.. im soaking wet since i had to walk from the cops and back home in blistering rain.. Now, if anyone out there just happens to have some control over a nuke or whatnot.. just do me a favour. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON :thumbsup: . *sighs* im such an unlucky person its not even sad.. its just pointless... hope you all are having a better day than me ppl.. :(
 
#2
well you wont find much help here. most people will just tell you welcome and fuck you. but i can see that life is sucking for you so heres a cookie. hope you like it. :cookie:
 

Nightrave

Humper of all >Evil
5
0
0
#3
A cookie never hurts..

deus_ex_machina said:
well you wont find much help here. most people will just tell you welcome and fuck you. but i can see that life is sucking for you so heres a cookie. hope you like it. :cookie:

I actually did! Well, not much help to get in any way with my problems i think... But it still feels just a tad better when im not cramming every insane shitty thing in my life inside my head. Feels better to release some of it..and thats just what im doing;) Thanks for the snack
 

mariusthegreat

:: What Ebonics ::
916
0
80
#6
we all have days like these....i cant say ive assaulted a cop before....but yeah we all have shitty days dude...just let it ride..and the sun will shine tomorrow....i hope...if not...break stuff...it always helps...:]
 

Dustbinbag

Two words: Shut up.
36
0
0
#7
I agree. Things like plates, glasses and bowls are great. They have great sound affects, without the price tag of your t.v.
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,851
3,350
487
#8
Nightrave said:
Now, if anyone out there just happens to have some control over a nuke or whatnot.. just do me a favour. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON :thumbsup: . *sighs* im such an unlucky person its not even sad.. its just pointless... hope you all are having a better day than me ppl.. :(
Just gimme the Coordinates in Longitude and latitude and leave the rest to me. :thumbsup:
I happen to have a Minute man ICBM in my back yard. Verizon wanted to put a tower on my property, but NORAD offered more to lease the space. I don't have the button here, it's done remotely, but I'm sure I can figure out how to hotwire the thing. Part of the deal is I keep the Oil changed and the batteries charged. They even gave me like a NORAD merit badge patch. Cool! I'm sportin' this thing on my leather bomber jacket, makes me look like Tom Cruise from TopGun.

 

Descent

Hella Constipated
7,686
109
157
#10
If you really want stress relief, smash circuit boards. They have lots of nice little pieces that will go flying off when hit. Turn that old dead computer motherboard into ten minutes worth of fun.
 

undiehiker04

Future Conquistador
95
0
0
#11
Nightrave said:
This is the kind of day where i can spend hours on end just daydreaming about smothering this planet. I woke up 30mins late for uni, then my car decides to dump my remaning liters of fuel and stop completely in an upwards hill, heavy traffic. after about 40-50 mins i got the piece of shit to the top of the hill and got in, turned release the handbrake when someone tapped on my window.. Oh, hello there mister Five-Oh :mfinger: . i rolled down my window as he asked me what i was doing just sitting in my car on top of a highly trafficated road. I bit my lip trying not to think about my wallet with the driverslicense that i forgot home and just suck it up. "Oh, im so sorry for disturbing, i think my cars having a problem.. it wont start.." "hmm"says the copper.. "Give it a shot, maybe i can hear whats wrong" i sigh loudly and turn back to the steering wheel. flip the key and it starts with the most finely tuned humming sounds i have ever heard it make.. i look up at the cop and he just smiles, "Drivers license and registration plz". There i am without a shrivel of id and a mood that made my face resemble a tomato :mad: . the following was an incident i do not wish to go further into details about.. but the end is, my cars is towed in, i got a fine for using "extremely harsh language" against an officer of the law.. and another fine for assault against an officer(although i wouldnt say grabbing a guy and releasing your guts into his face is actually assault.. he just got a taste of what i had on my mind..) thats what they called it.. now im home wondering if i should bring my bat to the impound place.. then again.. im soaking wet since i had to walk from the cops and back home in blistering rain.. Now, if anyone out there just happens to have some control over a nuke or whatnot.. just do me a favour. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON :thumbsup: . *sighs* im such an unlucky person its not even sad.. its just pointless... hope you all are having a better day than me ppl.. :(

Just listen to the Beatles and ........Let It Be....or Prozac either one works for me :thumbsup:
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
889
0
0
#12
i have no anger...but my friends used to have a good thrashin by slamming their skateboards into the ground and tossing them 30 feet in the air and hoping it hits something

it's hurmorous to watch a skateboarder get pissed and throw his skateboard across the skatepark, it'd probly won't even crack, maybe chipped
.....and then it makes them madder when they have to walk all the way over there to get it, so they throw it again, and then it just gets pointless
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
3,192
0
36
#13
Seije said:
i have no anger...but my friends used to have a good thrashin by slamming their skateboards into the ground and tossing them 30 feet in the air and hoping it hits something

it's hurmorous to watch a skateboarder get pissed and throw his skateboard across the skatepark, it'd probly won't even crack, maybe chipped
.....and then it makes them madder when they have to walk all the way over there to get it, so they throw it again, and then it just gets pointless
or buy fireworks put you skateboard down and firework under it. and watch the fun ( i saw it on a show once)
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
889
0
0
#14
Skyline-Cobra said:
or buy fireworks put you skateboard down and firework under it. and watch the fun ( i saw it on a show once)
my cousin has some friends who skateboard...back in July while I was down there....that's what they were doin.
They tried to scare us so they started throwin fireworks at people...
They threw one at me..(it's those little spinner glowing flame ball thing)..i didn't even budge or make a face..just stood there and let it bounce off my foot and stood next to it....fucking wimps, shoulda threw it at my face because all pyromaniacs would dodge that...cept the insane ones
 

shep

Local alcoholic
1,853
8
38
#15
Wire up about 10 m80's ,dig a 2-3 inch hole to put them in,and put your skateboard on top of them.Light em up and >>>>>??????
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
889
0
0
#16
shep said:
Wire up about 10 m80's ,dig a 2-3 inch hole to put them in,and put your skateboard on top of them.Light em up and >>>>>??????
i had a pack of m60's, m80's, and m1000's...fun stuff, we'd tie like 3 or 4 together, stick'em into like a two liter of water and ka-boom, thing would be split open water everywhere
oh and I put one in a 20oz bottle of water, thing went off and launched the bottle like10 feet in the air off flat ground....then i burnt my finger which still has a light scar from it
 

betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
1,782
0
0
#17
ohhhh you just wait to see how MY life is

mm don't feel THAT bad.. wanna know how much my life sucks?

1. School is returning
2. I haven't touched the mountain of homework I have to do for the summer
3. I'm in a SKA band through the school and need to memorize 18 songs by ear in a week
4. I worked at a suck ass job all summer watching kids run around and almost kill themselves
5. #4's pay was $6.25
6. I am finding it a hard ass time finding another job
7. 3 of my closest friends are going to different schools
8. My friends parents hate me
9. My parents credit cards got charged with huge sums, they blamed it on me and took all my money
10. Also for a couple things I DID ACTUALLY BUY I payed them back for, they don't think so, so I have to pay them back AND cover the other charges
11. I am once again broke
12. Now I cannot buy the car I needed
13. Without a car I can't get to a job which I could of had
14. Throught his credit card ordeal I've lost my parent's "trust"
15. Theres a shitload of rules now because of this like computer off, can't do much with friends (and even if I can whoever invites me to do crap they get quizzed for about an hour)
16. The girl I am in love with is torn between me and another person, and she is leaning towards him
17. One of my best friends likes me, which isn't funny because we're really close and it'd be weird to go closer in that particular way
18. Yeah I know it happens to everyone but I don't know if I can take seeing all my friends just split up and go to different colleges
19. My neighbors literally are nazis, their dog barks 24/7, they have made attacks towards us, and we've had to call the police multiple times, also ambulences and police cars are over there all the time
20. I get blamed for everything in my house to leaving dishes in the living room to blowing up the yard doesn't matter what it is everyone thinks its me
21. I hate my brothers girlfriend
22. She is living with us, right across from my door
23. My dog is dying
24. My parents still think nudity and drugs AND swears are bad for me to see in a movie or show, I was watching crossballs the other day and my mom didn't like the content, umm wtf?
25. My parents buy light beer, I mean come on what the hell, I don't see how people drink that stuff, corona is the way to go
26. Every girl that comes along I seem to give a chance but end it because I feel like I'm waiting for one, I really like her but I don't know how much because I have never gotten the oppertunity to get close since she'd probably push me away because of the situation she is in.
27. There is another girl who likes me and I like her, she is about an hour away but I don't know what to do.
28. My parents use and emphasize the word "gay", if you knew them you'd more than agree with me
29. I want to go to school for photography in cali, but my mom doesn't think I should go that far because she wants to see me, I told her I didn't want to come back, I'm going to live in san francisco right after college anyways, so I'd probably never come back.
30. That reminds me, MAINE IS THE WORST FUCKING STATE IN THE WORLD! We are at the end of a jetstream, we get shitty air, our weather sucks shit, we are one of if not THE most obese state out their, jesus we have fat people in this state.
31. MAINES BEACHES ARE 2 FEET WIDE! Everyone talks about how its so quiet and nice up here, yeah it is but it gets old, that and its not always quiet since the fucking hicks are riding around on snowmobiles shooting defenseless animals.
32. The terrorists for 9/11 went through the stores I go through everyday and the airport my family uses, WHY DO YOU THINK? Because MAINE sucks nuts and I swear to god no one here has a decent education.
33. The only people famous from maine is a singer (country I might add, country is in the spotlight of retarded) a comedian and a republican.
34. My school reacts to linkin park lyrics as bomb threats and puts us out in the freezing cold pouring rain all the time.
35. When your late for a second in my school they put you down as absent for the day. So I was "absent" over 40 times last year, YEAH THAT WILL LOOK SUPER FOR COLLEGE!
36. Our malls are the size of my yard.
37. You know those online dating shit, "find your true love forever" Yeah do you think that actually works in maine? No because more than half the state doesn't know that "internet" or "computer" means.
38. This bug flying around my screen is reaaaaalllllyyy starting to piss me off.
39. My parents bought a new washer and dryer today, jesus christ their scared of purchases and commitment, I'm surprised they actually were brave enough to marry EACH OTHER.
40. My familys dish washer is broken and my dad resolved the issue by putting a ball of this pasty shit on a big ass crack, now our dishes have brown spots and shit on them.
41. Ice cream doesn't stand a chance in our freezer, so when I'm depressed I can't have "ice" cream I must submit myself to the lower level of "soup and it tastes really fucking bad" cream. Also our refrigerator is on its last year I swear to god.
42. You probably think I'm just ranting about everything around me huh? Well all this shit effects me every day of my life.
43. One of my good friends was cheated on and shes running right back to the guy.
44. Another one of my friends mom was having an affair and is moving out, I've have to talk to her for hours, not that I mind because she has helped me out before but I hate her mother for it and It pisses me off.
45. My friends ARE MY LIFE so what effects them effects me because I'm always around them and its the only thing that keeps me going.
46. I have a fear of talking on the phone, not so much anymore since I actually do now I just hate sitting down with a girl trying to act my best.. I guess thats just me.
47. My internet is down half the time because my service likes to jack off all day.
48. My dad moniters EVERYTHING I DO, my friend (i swear to god it was my friend) looked up porn and he got mad at me..
49. I'm pretty sure he could probably see what I'm typing now, heh actually not but he can see what I've done when I've done it, and then he comes home and has this sly fucking face, I told him the other day that I'm sick of his voice and I really don't like it anymore so he should probably not talk to me because when I hear him I feel like killing something.
50. When I actually GET A JOB my parents still think I owe them money, so they will take it, that and even if I don't owe them money they will take mine and put it in my bank account so I can't go to dinner with my friends and help pay for it or movies or anything fun anymore..
51. I have to sell some of my favorite stuff (because my favorite stuff happens to be high tech and worth a lot) so I can actually get money that there is a CHANCE that I can get a car..
52. When I actually try to talk to my parents about something when their not total pricks, they just laugh at how serious I am them bitch about my commitment later.
53. My name is Austin, whenever I meet someone they say "Ohh like Austin Powers?" I'm going to rip someones face off the next fucking time someone says that to me.
54. My school judges people so much, if you wear sun glasses then your considered a fag, or a skater punk.
55. I know A LOT of liars around me, and I've fucking tested them to, I make up people and ask them if they know them, and we have a conversation for a long time before I reveal it to the faggots that their retarded liars.
56. Yeah another thing, if you don't do sports in my school then your considered a loser.. Sorry if I don't like spending more time at the school I loathe..
57. My teachers seek out the wrong answer, if you got a face like you don't know the answer it's a sure thing that their going to jump on your ass like a hobo on a stripper. And they WILL stay there until they are finished.
58. It seems like the more slutty you are the more you are admired in my school, all the freshmen girls in my school I SWEAR are part time hoes or strippers, and yes you'd except a good looking woman to have guys after them but these whores are just ridiculous but still they have a line of faggots after them.
59. Worst thing is I'm surrounded by this shit everyday..
60. I left school early one day and my teacher went to the office and said I was smoking pot and skipping class, umm I went home because I had study hall last.. So the police show up and we have a screaming fight in principle's office.
61. Because I'm taking no "honors" classes some people view me "differently", ohh I'm sorry that I don't want to read my German III book upside down and backwords with the lights off for an extra challenge so colleges with jack off to my resume.
62. My teachers actually give a shit about step up day, I didn't go to my geography class because I knew I was going to drop it, as a joke I walked by the class really slowly and waved to people I knew inside. Man I should have known better because those fags are like "OHHH THERE HE IS." And she looked like she just hit a deer in her car while having an orgasm at the same time, I just kept walking and KNEW that I wasn't going to take the class.
63. Great someone is home, I just heard the car drive up the driveway, that can't be good.
64. I said my dog was dying right? Yeah I did well my OTHER dog likes to shit five times a day and if she does in the house I lose a ton of privelidges.
65. Yeah you know who got home? My dad, I just went downstairs, we didn't make eye contact.
66. Thats another thing that SUCKS about maine, the cops are anal. My brother was going 1 mile over the speed limit and the cop was yelling and threatening him that he could bend him over the hood and cuff him right then and there if he wanted to.
67. With that job I said earlier that payed me $6.25, yeah, that was AT THE SCHOOL over the summer, so even over the summer I couldn't get away from that shithole.
68. I took a ride in my parents friends small plane, he took it over my school and oh my god I didn't even recognize it from the top. It looks like a death camp from WWII from the top, all black and cracked. I went on the rook a week later because the kids were playing hide and seek and I didn't want to be "seeked" for awhile so I went on the roof. I found a football helmet.
69. Yeah while I was ON THE ROOF I got black shit all over my favorite fucking shirt. Did you expect #69 to be something about sex? Well your a perv aren't you then?..
70. I don't know about anyone else but I think Harry Potter is a good series, hey yeah its kind of kidsy but I started reading it when I was like, what? 12 maybe?
71. Yeah well speaking of harry potter my state holds rallies to cut up the bookcovers because they think its "witchcraft".. WTF?! It was a book made by a poor english woman.
72. Yeah another think about harry potter is if your seen reading one, your considered a freak.
73. Cops attend dances because so many fights break out between the hicks.
74. A kid at camp killed himself, he hung himself when he went home that night.. Yeah he didn't have it so good I guess...
75. Whenever my friends call the house after 9 my parents get hella pissed.
76. I hate my boss..
77. Yeah my dad is a health freak so we can't have to much junk food..
78. I got my ear pierced jesus you should have heard the fight about that..
79. I am in danger of being caught for fraud because yes I did use my parents credit card but I only did a little bit and payed them back but whatever..
80. Waking up every day for school at 6:00 is fun then having to do it everyday over the summer for work at the SAME PLACE without any breaks to sleep in if sooo awesome when your going back to school to just continue the process...
81. Now I get quizzed everyday because my parents think I'm doing other shit..
82. My parents just as people embarrass me in front of friends and other family.
83. I reallllly hate my house, its too small for five people to live in, the walls are kind of thin and I have a wood floor so when I'm on my computer my chair makes a shitload of noise.


Yeah so I was trying to come up with 100 just so it could be like one of those books you know? Like 100 jokes blah blah.. but i got bored and I have to get off the comp soon... sooooo whatever fuck all of you :mfinger:
 

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
2,347
0
0
#18
:bs: Wait till your on your own p99, and mom and pops security blanket disappears! then you got problems, if your still on the same track!

Your parents won't let you go without! I'm 25 and on my own...So when I fuck up it's, sink or swim! I'm doin better than both my parents, so unlike you I don't have the luxury of the parental ass wipe.....But it's hard bein a Minor ain't it? :lol: :cry:
 

betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
1,782
0
0
#19
heh yeah it is i think you got my drift, i can't wait for cali, i wanna live there..

edit:yeah i take back my bros girlfriend, i dont hate her but shes just.. she can be annoying when im trying to talk to him or if i wanna do something shes always there, christ shes even interfering with paintball now..
 

Snoopy

*X* dork *X*
6
0
0
#20
cookie

i'll go with the first reply and agree...

... here's a cookie