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Just to vent a little. . .

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Okay, first up is my boyfriend. I love him and after we graduate college we're going to get married. This much is fairly certain no matter what happens, but right now, he's kind of pissing me off. He's the kind of guy that gets really competitive, to the point that I don't want to play any kind of card game, board game, computer game, etc with him anymore because he gets so frustrated when he's losing, especially when it's multiple losses. It's like it becomes a personal blow to the ego or something. What is it with guys and having to win all the time? The macho bullshit thing doesn't fly with me, and he knows it. :mad:
Then, there's my friends. I'll say straight out that it's my fault we haven't been hanging out, so I'm paying the consequences now, I guess. Like I said in the title, this thread is really just to vent. Yes, I've been spending almost all of my time over at my boyfriend's dorm, and I don't see them much, but last year we hung out all the time, and at the beginning of this year when we're living right next door to each other friction started happening. I'm the kind of girl that hates drama, and that's what was happening. Then Brian and I got together (for the third time, this time we're making it work), and this perfect opportunity was given to me to avoid the drama. Now, my friends make jabs at me for not being around, which I can handle because it's true. The problem I have is this: when I am here and wanting to talk to them, I'm ignored. They say all this stuff about how I should go all these places with them because they have fun and then ignore me. Like just tonight, I was sitting in my neighbor/best friend's room. I was going to tell them about something that happened to me today, but as soon as I got the first line out I was interrupted by her boyfriend saying something that was about a completely different subject. After he was done everything went quiet. No one bothered to ask me what I had been saying, so I didn't bother continuing. What incentive are they giving me to hang out more by ignoring me? :mad:
Phew, well glad that's off my chest. If any of you have a suggestion as to how to handle either situation I'm open (aside from killing them or any stupid ideas).
 

mmm...cheese

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#2
Not all guys are super competitive. Take me for example, I don't get pissed off when I lose. Actually, it feels pretty damn good to lose!

Anyway, try talking to him about this. And if he doesn't cooperate, no sweat off your back. Just keep playing games with him, and letting him win without letting on that your letting him win. (you know what I mean)
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#3
tiger_86 said:
Okay, first up is my boyfriend. I love him and after we graduate college we're going to get married. This much is fairly certain no matter what happens, but right now, he's kind of pissing me off. He's the kind of guy that gets really competitive, to the point that I don't want to play any kind of card game, board game, computer game, etc with him anymore because he gets so frustrated when he's losing, especially when it's multiple losses. It's like it becomes a personal blow to the ego or something. What is it with guys and having to win all the time? The macho bullshit thing doesn't fly with me, and he knows it.
I knew a kid like that....when I was like 12. We were playing some board game, and he lost, so he threw a tantrum and kicked the board at me and tried to ride off on his bike. I caught up to him and shoved his ass off into the rocks. After that, he never freaked out about losing again (Well, he didn't throw any more tantrums directed at me, anyways). It worked for me, and it could work for you!
 
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Nailbomb said:
I knew a kid like that....when I was like 12. We were playing some board game, and he lost, so he threw a tantrum and kicked the board at me and tried to ride off on his bike. I caught up to him and shoved his ass off into the rocks. After that, he never freaked out about losing again (Well, he didn't throw any more tantrums directed at me, anyways). It worked for me, and it could work for you!
Lol. It could work, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt him (well, not really hurt him). Thanks for the suggestion.
Mmm...cheese, I have talked to him about it. He knows it's a problem, and he really is trying to fix it. It's just a matter of he needs to work harder on it. *shrugs* I probably will continue to play just because it's either that or he's playing Starcraft/Warcraft/Diablo II all the time.
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
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Doesn't sound like they are really your friends. Maybe you need to hang out with your "main" or "best" friend, and after a few times you will be part of the group again. Not sure. Tough situation you are in.
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#6
Sounds like they're just annoyed 'cause you spend more time with him. It happens. They'll realize it. As long as you're not completely and totally immersed in this guy, they'll be your friends. Remember you do need time away from the boy and hang out with your girls. Or all of you can do things together.
 
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BklynCannonball said:
Sounds like they're just annoyed 'cause you spend more time with him. It happens. They'll realize it. As long as you're not completely and totally immersed in this guy, they'll be your friends. Remember you do need time away from the boy and hang out with your girls. Or all of you can do things together.
I'll suggest things we could all do together, but the only one who doesn't seem to mind hanging out with them is my roommate. She's always willing to hang out with Brian since the three of us have known each other since sophomore year. But, whenever I suggest my neighbor join us doing something she usually says no. One reason she gave once was that she doesn't feel comfortable hanging out with those guys because she hardly knows them. Wtf?! How's she supposed to get to know them better if she doesn't hang out with them? The only thing they ever suggest doing is going to some party that's going on. I'm not a people person, and large crowds make me freak out unless I'm drunk. I don't do the drinking thing anymore, so I always say no to the parties. My friends know how I feel about parties, but they keep inviting me and trying to push me into going because I don't hang out with them. I'd go if it weren't for the fact that it's people I don't know, and I don't make conversations with complete strangers as easily as they do. And most likely once we get to said party they'd go off with different people and leave me by myself, bored out of my mind and ready to leave already. I don't know. Maybe CFF's right, and I'm just subconciously denying it.
 

Easty

Click click boom
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ChilianFuckFace said:
Doesn't sound like they are really your friends. Maybe you need to hang out with your "main" or "best" friend, and after a few times you will be part of the group again. Not sure. Tough situation you are in.
nah, i know tiger and i know who shes talking about. and believe me, i dont blame her, or them, according to what i've heard.

but tiger, why dont you just try to hang out with the BF and your friends together? if he doesnt wanna do that, either straighten him out or leave. thats my advice, for what its worth
 
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Eastside said:
nah, i know tiger and i know who shes talking about. and believe me, i dont blame her, or them, according to what i've heard.

but tiger, why dont you just try to hang out with the BF and your friends together? if he doesnt wanna do that, either straighten him out or leave. thats my advice, for what its worth
You didn't read everything. It's not my boyfriend that doesn't want to hang out with them. He wants them to come over and do stuff. It's often them who would say no when we invited them over to New Hall. Anyway, things are better now. We all talked it out, and everyone feels better about everything.
 

Sektor

Particinator
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Like just tonight, I was sitting in my neighbor/best friend's room. I was going to tell them about something that happened to me today, but as soon as I got the first line out I was interrupted by her boyfriend saying something that was about a completely different subject. After he was done everything went quiet. No one bothered to ask me what I had been saying, so I didn't bother continuing.
My friends used to do that to me too. Instead of letting them talk, I would interrupt them, just as they interrupted me, and tell them that I was talking, and that if you got something to say, wait until I'm done. I was often very mean about it as well, as I do NOT like being interrupted. I haven't had to do this in about nine months.

Do the same to them. Let them know how you feel about being ignored and interrupted. If they're your friends (or just not dense), they'll get the hint.