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Legend of the Ultimate Sword (Critique Please)

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#1
My progress on Legend of the Ultimate Sword has given me real hope for getting a book published. It is changing as I write it, since there is no information source for the book other than my recollection of the story, but it is changing for the better, definitely.
Here is the latest updated version. There are some things I will probably go back and re-write due to changes I made later in the story (nothing I hate worse than loose ends), but for now everything makes as much sense as it's supposed to (That is, not much, but enough for now).

Remember, this is a Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel in the making. It seamlessly blends technology, religion, magic, and occult themes into the same Universe, where anything is possible and the most absurd and incredible stretches of probability are the norm.

Post your opinions or critiques as you see fit, I'm open to ALL opinions of the story, good or bad. All I ask is that you read everything that is done so far before you formulate your final opinion. Also, if you spot any spelling/grammatical errors, please point them out. I really appreciate any time any of you would take to examine this work of mine.


Code:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3Y68IGSK
 

papagnome

Banned - What an Asshat!
338
0
0
#3
dam you can write what inspierd you to make this story i avent finished reading it but dam if your stroy was a girl i would so bang it :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :D
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#4
The story took shape over the course of about8 or 9 years, starting with a dinky little short story I came up with as a youngster.
Over the last 5 years, LOTUS has become a story of simply MASSIVE scope and design. It'll probably take me a very long time to finish writing it all, but time is what i've got. :)
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
3,452
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#5
I read a bit of it. I want to send some edits and stuff over. Give me a few days though. The story so far is really good. PM me your email addy so I can send the doc over when I'm done.
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#6
Only "a bit"? And you're sending "edits"?
FYI, the "story so far" isn't even close to the actual story. In fact, the "story" is so convoluted that, even though a new layer is peeled back every so often (revealing something new and enhancing the story), the true purpose of the story doesn't come out until the final book.

Each book is meant to tell a small story or series of stories that are related, in layers of importance to the overall plot. It ended up that way on purpose, since I've seen very few stories written that way and thought it was a good idea.

Send away, though. I'm open to just about anything, but no guarantees.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#7
OmegaZeto said:
Only "a bit"? And you're sending "edits"?
FYI, the "story so far" isn't even close to the actual story. In fact, the "story" is so convoluted that, even though a new layer is peeled back every so often (revealing something new and enhancing the story), the true purpose of the story doesn't come out until the final book.

Each book is meant to tell a small story or series of stories that are related, in layers of importance to the overall plot. It ended up that way on purpose, since I've seen very few stories written that way and thought it was a good idea.

Send away, though. I'm open to just about anything, but no guarantees.
Well, why don't you give us the story so far instead of saying what is the story so far and then not having it be the story so far?

You confuse me.
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#9
DG is just easily confused by REAL plots :p (I keed)

The Story is the name for the great collection of related tales of which LOTUS is only a small part. By "The Story" I mean the completed masterworks, all of them.

By "the story so far" I meant "how far I have written".
By "the story isn't complete", I mean that reading what I have so far will in no way give you any clue as to the actual overall plot of the entire story itself.

Any better?
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#11
I did! I liked a couple of the things you changed, too :p

You seemed to miss the intent of some of my sentences, but that's fine. I do believe that when I go back over the story and re-write it, I will take into consideration the suggestions you've made.

If you want to keep editing past the end of the intro that's ok too :p
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
3,452
0
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#12
I'm glad you liked some of them.

Cheers.

I'll take a stab at it slowly. It is 36 pages after all. I do like where you're going with it.

And P.S. I've read more than the intro.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#15
BklynCannonball said:
lol DG. Don't get your titties all twisted.

I must warn you though, you're gonna do what I did.
Masterbate to Anjelina Jolie?

Oh wait, thats what I did...

Anyways.....Thanks bklyn!
 
4,149
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#16
I just got around to this thread. /me whistles. I only got to read a small part of it, but I love it so far. It's right up my alley. Great work!
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
713
0
0
#17
BklynCannonball said:
I'm glad you liked some of them.

Cheers.

I'll take a stab at it slowly. It is 36 pages after all. I do like where you're going with it.

And P.S. I've read more than the intro.
Haha... If only you knew where it's going.

I'm glad that people are enjoying the plot-as-it-stands, but I would like you to bear in mind that the plot-in-total is something that stands alone as possibly the most convoluted and intricately designed thing I've ever come up with. 5 years of nonstop re-making of the story, including the addition of new parts and more complex relationships between plots and characters, has produced a literary monster.

I can't wait for my next bolt of inspiration to hit so I can get the Zerex Trintium chapter done and get to the good stuff :p
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#18
OmegaZeto said:
Haha... If only you knew where it's going.

I'm glad that people are enjoying the plot-as-it-stands, but I would like you to bear in mind that the plot-in-total is something that stands alone as possibly the most convoluted and intricately designed thing I've ever come up with. 5 years of nonstop re-making of the story, including the addition of new parts and more complex relationships between plots and characters, has produced a literary monster.

I can't wait for my next bolt of inspiration to hit so I can get the Zerex Trintium chapter done and get to the good stuff :p
You know, I never write in sequence. I usually write the juicy parts then fill up around them. Anyhoo...looking forward to reading it.
 

Swid

Mentally Incarcerated
612
3
16
#19
I followed you link, but It seems your file was deleted.