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Fringe Let us discuss. . .THE EXISTENCE OF GOD!

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Stootchmaster
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Sooooo. . .WTF.com. Nice place. Mods are a bit twitchy and there's a lack of twats, but not bad.
I think I can spend a few months here. So let's get to know each other a bit, shall we?
And what better way than with a merry debate?

Show of hands. . .who here believes in God?

Hmmmmm. . .not many, not many at all. Oh, you think I can't see the smirk on your face? Tsk.

What would you say if I said that I can prove that God exists?
Yeah. . .that's right, you heathen bitches. I just said that I can prove the existence of God.
The question is. . .who here can prove me wrong?

Gird your loins, Atheist bitches. I'm pointing at you.
Let us discuss the existence of God.

Amen
 

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Stootchmaster
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One MIGHT assume from the general ecclesiastic tone of my posts so far that religion is my primary focus. . .you would assume wrong, my friends. Yes, I claim the mantle of Messenger and Preacher, but I am ALSO a man of SCIENCE!

The brotherhood to which I belong is actively engaged in several long-term studies. . .the most popular of which is an extremely unethical study into the nature of hidden whoritry in random, unsuspecting women who just THINK they are simply renting a house from us. . .in reality, they are living in a laboratory and are subjected to a variety of tests. . .BUT I DIGRESS! Please, forgive my enthusiasm. I've headed up that project since 2008.

During the course of discussion and experimentation into our "Theory of Female/Camera Cognitive Dissonance" (or FCCD). . .a study we began last year into the strange inability of females to operate a camera and control their facial expressions. . .we began to notice a disturbing trend of females who seem to not only be able to do two things at once, as determined during the study described above, but ALSO seem to be unable to accurately process and discuss the written word.

I had noticed this before, but in the study of FCCD, this strange facet of female behavior became EXTREMELY obvious. And so we decided that it deserved looking into on it's own, as I believe that the two are possibly connected. In the same way that FCCD displays the lack of ability in a woman to PHYSICALLY do two things at once, it is our understanding that "Female Truth Attention/Retention Deficit" (or FTARD) shows a disability in females to MENTALLY do two things at once.

To explain a bit: It is our belief that women suffering from FTARD simply CANNOT process information that they do not want to believe. My working theory is that as they read and process undesired information, they are AT THE SAME TIME thinking about how they will respond with ridicule, opposition, or other forms of denial. . .and the simultaneous mental activity activates some sort of mechanism within the mind of the whore where they actually see something different than what was actually written, in an unconscious effort to conserve the limited mental resources of the average female.

I therefore ask for the assistance of the women of this fine website in providing a bit of much-needed information, so that we can more accurately study this fascinating component of the female psyche. . .

If you will, please translate the following passage to the best of your limited ability:

The eyes of the bitch doth witness against them; and they declare their sin of whoritry, the eyes hide it not. Woe unto the soul of a whore! For they have rewarded evil unto themselves by the evil they have done. The spirit of The Fuck™ reveals them, and by the same dark spirit shall misery dwell upon their countenance.

Thank you for helping with this important scientific study. Your assistance is appreciated and quite valuable.
Of course, and as always, input and discussion by everyone is quite welcome.

Amen
 

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Stootchmaster
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*sigh*

Fine then... Show your proof, and start discussing. Making idle claims is not such a good beginning.
Tsk.

Remember, my new friend. . .I have already declared that you will be my assistant, and assist me you will!
(at least until another steps forward to take your place, should your attention span be found lacking)

You have set forth upon the FIRST step of a journey toward the truth!
I already know the truth. I cannot simply reveal it. Where is the lesson in that?
Never let it be said I don't pay the rent for the use of your internet corner to preach, NEVER!

Feed a man a fish and he eats for a day. . .teach him to fish and he never goes hungry.

This is the mantra of every sermon and lesson of The Fuck™, and so it shall be with this one as well. . .because, as you will come to understand, this isn't JUST about God. It's about truth and the perception of it. It's about doubt. It's about belief. Not just in God, but in other things as well. Things like The Fuck™. No, my friend. . .YOU will teach YOURSELF the lesson.
I will merely guide you. FURTHERMORE! You will not just teach yourself. . .you will be used by me as a tool to teach others.
I thank you for allowing me to do so in advance.

Let us begin!

Do you or do you not believe God exists? Briefly explain either answer.

Amen

Obvious troll is obvious.
How dare you spit in the face of science, sir? HOW DARE YOU?

It is the likes of you that would have mankind remain forever in a place of darkness and ignorance!

NO! DAMN YOU, NO!

IS NOT SCIENCE A LIGHT UNTO ALL THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH?
VERILY THE LIGHT OF KNOWLEDGE THAT DOTH SHINE UPON THE WHORE AND MAKETH HER WAIL,
"IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS! IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS!!"
YEA THE LIGHT THAT STRIKETH THE DISBELIEVING EYES OF MAN WHEN THE PANTIES OF THE STOOTCH ARE TORN AWAY AND THE TRUTH IS REVEALED! THAT VERY LIGHT OF KNOWLEDGE THAT DOTH BURN AWAY THE DARKNESS OF THE BITCH WITHIN A MAN AND MAKE HIM SING PRAISE UNTO THE FUCK™!

Who. . .I SAY WHO! will carry the torch of the light of knowledge, in the face of ridicule such as yours?

I will carry that torch, my brothers beside me.

Amen
 
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Reactions: Masquerade

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Stootchmaster
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Thread denied. We've discussed God enough on this board.
Discussion is one thing, sir. . .but when was the last time someone boldly stood in your little village square with his asshat cocked to a jaunty angle and proclaiming that he WILL prove God exists? Link, my good fellow. . .LINK, I SAY!

And by the way. . .Female Truth Attention/Retention Deficit has absolutely nothing to do with the existence of God.
I see that you are incapable of determining the actual subject of a post, and I have sincere doubts as to your ability to carry on a debate on either subject, given your lack of reading comprehension. Which makes me wonder if your enthusiasm to be my assistant might be better served in a desire to read more than the name of the person who posted something before. . .well. . .failing at an unpaid internet job and letting a random nerd publicly mock you for it.

I'm going to be here for a while, sir. . .
Take a deep breath and relax. Your eyelid might eventually stop twitching when you see my name.

Amen
 

Masquerade

Banned - What an Asshat!
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"Do you or do you not believe God exists? Briefly explain either answer.

Amen"

Oh god, my sides. XD
 

lolguy

Particinator
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I saw a homeless guy preaching outside of a local convenience store once. Sounded a lot like you.
 

Dead Set

Kang of Pang
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Thank you for helping with this important scientific study. Your assistance is appreciated and quite valuable. Of course, and as always, input and discussion by everyone is quite welcome.

Amen
Where are you in the casual link between women and the operation of motor vehicles?

I was hoping to compare notes.
 
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