WTF ... IS WTF!?
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wocket

pocket pal
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#1
So, last March, I started going out with a wonderful guy from England. Everything was perfect - we could talk for hours about ANYTHING, any fights we had were resolved almost immediately, and he was just a really sweet and caring guy. Over the summer, he came and visited twice (yes, this was an online relationship). We were even better in person. When he left, we were both optimistic about the future of our relationship. Until he went to university for his master's degree, that is.

After he got there, he changed. He stopped talking to me for awhile, and when we did talk, he never said "I love you", and he became more moody. He explained that it was due to stress from his degree and not knowing if he was ever going to see me again. Eventually, the difficulty of his courses forced him into a position to choose between our relationship and his degree. Even if he had tried to pick me, I wouldn't have let him. So we're not together anymore. I'm fine with that. He told me he wants to remain close to me, because he considers me to be one of his best friends. I'm fine with that, as well.

What I'm NOT fine with is the fact that he's being an absolute fucktard about this. He NEVER talks to me anymore, though he has conversations with his other friends all the time. The last time he directed any sort of comment toward me at all was last Wednesday, and even then, it was just to ask if I was still going to school. He hasn't commented in my journal in months...alright, that's a lie. He left one comment, which I have since deleted because it was spam.

Every time I try to broach the subject with him, he says "sorry. Please don't hate me or be bitter. I want to be friends with you, but I'm under so much stress." Quite frankly, I'm under a lot of stress too, but I still make time for people who consider me to be their friend. I am about ready to give up on this situation, which sucks, because he is (or at least, used to be) a really great guy.
 

breakology

Kiss my Converse
1,890
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#2
Relationships are give & take, if all you do is give, and all he does is take, I think the conclusion you should make is fairly obvious, no matter how difficult it may be.
 

ReiMeishin

Dreaming to live
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#3
No offence, but shouldn't your best friends be people that you see in person on a regular basis? If he isn't talking to you, screw him, don't talk to him.
 

wocket

pocket pal
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#4
ReiMeishin said:
No offence, but shouldn't your best friends be people that you see in person on a regular basis?
If you knew the people that live near me, you would understand. I think the same goes for him.
 

fuck_you

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#5
hes not interested in you anymore if you anymore. threw his stress if hes able to still talk to other people theres no reasonw hy he cant to you.
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#7
Well, that guy is a dick, you don't need him anyhow, you should find someone else would treat you alot better than that.
 

wocket

pocket pal
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#8
Thing is, he treated me beautifully while we were going out. It's just after the breakup that he's started acting like this. One theory put forth by a mutual friend is that he's ashamed about ending such a great relationship.

Also, finding someone new is easier said than done.
 

supposedtabeme

The Skinny One
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#12
Xalimander said:
ARGHHH YOO WRITEN TOO LONG caNT READ
My goodness you're really retarded, aren't you? not only retarded, but a fucking spammer/flamer.

This kind of things always happen. My last boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) we were best friends for a year before, and now we barely talk. Even so, I know that anything happens to me, I can tell it to him with all the details, and he knows he can do the same.

The thing is: do you think that if anything happens that you, or him, needs to talk to someone, will you talk to him or will he talk to you?

Usually, no matter the distance or for how long you haven't seen a person, it doesn't determine the relationship, but how much you can trust on that person.
 

digitalwndr

Advice Doctor
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#13
I would waste the time or effort on this one, wocket. Obviously he doesn't think you are as important as you think HE is. You deserve someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. Anything else is a waste of your energies. Move on and seek happiness. It's waiting...
 

MsPunK

Tenderony
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#14
basically blokes are fools in relationships, some blokes that is, they are so stubborn about there feelings and can tell themselves things that arent true, like, i dont care about her anymore, when they do.
i know a guy who was in a long distance relationship and he jus couldnt do it anymore cos he cudnt take not seeing her,(and they only lived a hundred miles away!!) he loved her so much yet he was a total cunt to her when they broke up he ignored her and got a new phone and all sorts . its something some guys do especially when they care alot because they want to make it easier for themselves and maybe in a way , want to make the girls fuss over them.
--K-- stay cool bitch
 

Pidgeon182

Bird of the Week
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#15
I don't know the guy, but I think one of the reasons why he doesn't talk to you is pretty evident. Since you two were forced apart by outside reasons, it is obvious he still has fealings for you. I think that he may reserve from talking to you because it brings up alot of painful thoughts. Like, He wishes that the relationship could go further, yet, it is impossible due to the fact that he is in college and working tward his degree. That is just my speculation on the matter though. Don't think of him as an asshole, just think that he is going through a rough time..plus, one way for a guy to try and forget hurtful things is to try and not be around said thing. Ya know..."Out of sight, out of mind."