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llamas

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#1
Ok, so after posting about this in the newbie forum I find this one. It's still funny.

I grew up in Idaho. I went to college in a different part of Idaho. In that part of Idaho... also known as hell... or "Northern Utah" there's nothing to do. Except drink. One other thing to do is go someplace else and drink. So my friends and I drove to a shitburge called Burely. Where my friend's folks owned a ranch because when you live in a shitburge all you can do is own ranches or dream of owning one.

It turns out his dad makes "potato vodka". First off all vodka is supposed to be potato based. Second off this wasn't vodka it was moonshine. Either way we got very drunk.

We step outside to have smokes and there's this pen full of llamas. Llamas are like cammels except smaller. For whate ever reason one of the llamas pissed me off. (He may have spit on us, it might have been the sprinkler.)

So I decide to step over to the llama and explain things. He gives me the eveil eye. I decide to walk away, and he spit on me. A plan forms: I'm going to tackle this llama, sucker punch him and teach him a lesson. I act... I tackle the llama, I throw a solid sucker punch, I realize the llama didn't fall down like I thought he would I now understand just how fucking bad things are going.

Long story full of details I don't remember short that llama proceeded to kick my ass. I mean he beat the holy living shit out of me. But the worst of it was after my friends pulled me out of the pen I broke my nose opening the door to the house. (I have poor door skills when drunk.)

When I woke up my entire body hurt. It felt like I'd been kicked in the sack, all over my body.

Now how the hell do you go back to the dorms and explain to your prick of a roommate that you got your shit canned by a fucking llama?
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
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#2
Yet another story where alcohol and llamas meet and your end up with you ass being sore....
 

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dolor ex fides
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#3
lmao. I thought I was having a bad day. Now I realize I'm having a really good day, because I've never had my ass kicked by a llama. I feel so much better.


UberSkippy said:
Now how the hell do you go back to the dorms and explain to your prick of a roommate that you got your shit canned by a fucking llama?
Simple. don't tell him it was a llama. make up something better; like "I got my 'shit canned' by this huge transexual - but at least I didn't have to pay"
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
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#4
A llama kicked your ass? I thought they were pussy animals?
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#6
[sky] said:
A llama kicked your ass? I thought they were pussy animals?
Not so much. They aren't very big but they bite and they kick.

Granted a door broke my nose so what the hell do I know?
 

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dolor ex fides
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#8
Okay - so the link was for Uberskippy - I don't care I watched it anyway. And it was fucking funny considering the context.
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
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#9
LMFAO I've got to learn the song and go around singing it.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#10
thats is soooo wrong........did u like it?