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#1
This is kinda old, but oh well.

To the cLINK.

Man’s testicles snared in a padlock for two weeks

By Adam Dolge
adolge@seacoastonline.com


BRENTWOOD - The "family jewels" of one Brentwood man recently were locked up for two weeks - literally.

On Saturday, July 30, at about 3:40 a.m., Brentwood police assisted ambulance and rescue personnel with a 39-year-old man with a padlock on his testicles.

According to police, the man, who police are not identifying, was intoxicated when they arrived on scene.

The man reported that the padlock had been on his testicles for two weeks. Cpl. H.D. Wood IV said the man reported that a friend put the lock on his testicles. He was allegedly severely intoxicated and passed out. He told police that when he woke up the padlock was placed around top his scrotum and his friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Wood said.

The man reported to police that he allegedly attempted to remove the padlock with a hacksaw after the key broke off inside the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith was called to remove the lock.

The hospital reported that the man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury.

The Brentwood Fire Department would not comment on the incident, citing patient confidentiality.

The motive for the incident is still undetermined, police said.

"At this point we are not sure if it was a prank, or if it was an intentional act, or something done during a sexual act," Wood said.

The incident is under investigation.
Investigation? What the ghey? Why would anyone even care why?
 
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#3
Yeah, but the stories that locksmith has to tell his friends...LOL
Can you imagine the look on the guy's face when he shows up with his little lockpicking kit?
:rotflmao: