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loneliness all alone

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#1
hmm..okay..So let's give it a try,
I can't sleep properly, I don't eat, I feel like the lonelinest (is that even a word?)
now when I have an own apartment..I did never think of it that I would be like this. I even miss my mom, and that just gives it away..

Why can't I sleep?
well, mostly because I'm small and afraid. I don't feel safe in this new apartment ..I can't fall asleep unless I have the tv on (sometimes a lamp too) or I have my bf here..

WHY won't you eat you stupid fuck!?
well..usually I have a headache when I come home, and I can't make anything
properly..or then I don't have any food or I have this weird thing when I'm hungry but just for a specific thing..and I hate that because everything else makes me feel ill..


I am getting 2kittens..but just for now it feels like shit, and I hate that I don't like it here..but it's all this mean circle eat-sleep-eat..I have to get it going I guess..

but Am I just not ready for living alone? Or has/had anyone else this problem when you moved out?
 

Tostig

Paradoxasaur
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#2
I felt the exact same way when I moved into my own apartment for the first time (at 22, after a 5 year live-in relationship). It really is a creepy feeling, being all alone. But give it some time, you will get used to it. It took me a few months but it got there.

However, i've been with my current wife/fiance/SO for 8 years and when she travels for work, I can't sleep. I take sleeping pills when she's gone or I'd go nuts.

It has nothing to do with being ready to live alone, it has to do with what you're used to. Familiarity is comfortable, even if you didn't really like it. The devil you know etc etc.

Besides, you'll always have us for e-company.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#3
thats true..but I like peoples presence..or animals..that's why Im gettint 2pussys to play with :happysad:
 

Tostig

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#4
Animals definitely help. Wish I could've afforded one when I lived alone. You have to post pics of them when you get them.

How long have you been in the new apartment?
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#5
Stardust, getting an apartment on your own is a scary thing, and also living alone is too.
You will get over it soon enough, you will of course feel afraid of something being alone at night, but that's normal.

I'm sure the animals will help you and with your BF there, but you will get used to it soon enough, It's just a big experience for you right now.

But you gotta eat!
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#6
Tostig said:
How long have you been in the new apartment?

about 4weeks now.. and yes I will post pictures of the little crittes :) (when I get them)
 

Tostig

Paradoxasaur
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#7
only a month, that's not long. Took me a long time to get used to being alone. Sometimes I still miss it, you know, when the missus is nagging me about something. "Do the dishes, take out the garbage, put me out, i'm on fire, i'm hot, blah blah blah"
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#8
meh_it_all said:
But you gotta eat!

I know and I'm trying and trying to stuff down food in my throat:happysad:
 

Tostig

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#9
I lived off of Top Ramen hehe. I didn't have any pots so made it in my coffee maker (worked surprisingly well). Then i got a microwave and discovered hundreds of ways to prepare it. And it's easy to eat when your stomach hurts.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#10
Tostig said:
I lived off of Top Ramen hehe. I didn't have any pots so made it in my coffee maker (worked surprisingly well). Then i got a microwave and discovered hundreds of ways to prepare it. And it's easy to eat when your stomach hurts.

I have this weird..I don't know what to call it..but I am hungry..but I feel ill when I think of food to eat..or when I want a specific dish, and everything else makes me feel ill..it is a pain in the ass..because sometimes I'm really hungry but I can't eat so much..
 

Tostig

Paradoxasaur
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#11
Have to eat. I get the same way because of my work (stupid ulcers hehe). But being diabetic I have to force myself to eat regularly. Sometimes just some lightly buttered toast or bread keeps me going. Nice and bland.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#12
Tostig said:
only a month, that's not long. Took me a long time to get used to being alone. Sometimes I still miss it, you know, when the missus is nagging me about something. "Do the dishes, take out the garbage, put me out, i'm on fire, i'm hot, blah blah blah"

exactly! It's insane to miss that..don't you think?
 

RageAgainst

Chaotic Neutral
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#13
I hope you find a way to eat and sleep again!

Now for the quote, I have no choice

Stardust said:
thats true..but I like peoples presence..or animals..that's why Im gettint 2pussys to play with :happysad:
:eek:
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#14
Two words: Take out!

My fridge is pitiful. My sister came over last week and said "I can tell you're a bachelorette".

Of course, when I lived with my girlfriend, we'd have all kinds of shit in the fridge. My sister would come over with a shopping bag.

Now I'm hopeless.

I hear you Stardust, it takes some getting used to. You'll be ok though.

P.S. if you miss your family, go visit them sometimes, it'll give you a quick fix. Then you'll be ready to go on your own again.

Also, that is your apartment. You decide who enters or not, you create the energy of your living space. Instead of resisting it or being afraid of it, work within it, own it.
 

lady victoria

Too old for this shit!
Premium
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#15
It will get better I promise you. If watching or leaving the television on makes you feel better do it, thats what I did, sooner or later, you wont need to. But you have to take care of yourself, really you do, try to start eating properly, even if it is small meals, regularly. Start thinking about the good things about being on your own, try not to dwel on all the bad things. :)

As for food, okay I come hope from work, im shattered, dont want to spend an hour cooking, so what i try to do is have a large lunch, then when i get home, if im hungry i make a sandwich, or have some fruit. Just plan around you. If your up to it, cook on the weekend and make stuff to eat through the week, even if you have to freeze it...hey it may seem bad...but i do a long day :shrugs: Dont eat take out, its not good for you...and if you have to do it...only occasionally.

Take care.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#17
BklynCannonball said:
Two words: Take out!

My fridge is pitiful. My sister came over last week and said "I can tell you're a bachelorette".

Of course, when I lived with my girlfriend, we'd have all kinds of shit in the fridge. My sister would come over with a shopping bag.

Now I'm hopeless.

I hear you Stardust, it takes some getting used to. You'll be ok though.

P.S. if you miss your family, go visit them sometimes, it'll give you a quick fix. Then you'll be ready to go on your own again.

Also, that is your apartment. You decide who enters or not, you create the energy of your living space. Instead of resisting it or being afraid of it, work within it, own it.
thank you :hug2: (thank you all for helping me =) )
I visit them, call them and such..it's only about 10km to my mom and my brother lives about 1km from me..my sister..uhmm..5 maybe? So I visit and such..yeah..and this budget thing is very hard..I should sit down, and count my money and figure out how much I can buy and what I can buy so i get enough food for a month..
As soon as I get money ill buy candles..I love the light of candles..
Oh yeah Did I mention i have 2 kinds of milk in my fridge..both propably yuckie..it's really new all this grown up and all..

and when I have headache and such I get often really sad and I just get home and feel safe..it's not soo good..because..I want to like it but sometimes i just hate it to much

but thanks guys for letting me know I'm not the only one who has these kinds of thoughts :happysad:




EDIT: sorry tostig I can't rep you...not yet atleast
 

Tostig

Paradoxasaur
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#19
oh! something else that i found that helped me when i first lived alone.

It took me a while to realize, but the emptiness of my apartment (including lack of decoration) really contributed to the feeling of loneliness. I went out and spent about $50 on posters and put them up, got my friends to send me some pictures (frames optional) and put those up, and spent anothet $30 or so on crap at wal-mart. It really helped it feel more like my place, and the people on the posters almost felt like company. It really helped a lot. If you can get anything to decorate your apartment from your friends, family, and old living quarters, it would really help you settle in to spread it around your new apartment.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#20
Tostig said:
oh! something else that i found that helped me when i first lived alone.

It took me a while to realize, but the emptiness of my apartment (including lack of decoration) really contributed to the feeling of loneliness. I went out and spent about $50 on posters and put them up, got my friends to send me some pictures (frames optional) and put those up, and spent anothet $30 or so on crap at wal-mart. It really helped it feel more like my place, and the people on the posters almost felt like company. It really helped a lot. If you can get anything to decorate your apartment from your friends, family, and old living quarters, it would really help you settle in to spread it around your new apartment.

yeah I'm getting to that next week or something :D Ill try to get as much posters as possibly and stuff like that..I love art and photos..so I'm gonna try get that asap :D