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Motherfuckers from the army

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#1
I keep telling them over and over again. I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not. Same with the Marines. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE!?
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#2
TheLampIncident said:
I keep telling them over and over again. I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not. Same with the Marines. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE!?
Because they want your tender young ass for 8 weeks in an all male retreat.|

Tell them they are harrassing you and that you have no intentions of joining.

plus, recruiters are on commision.
 

Jung

???
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#3
TheLampIncident said:
I keep telling them over and over again. I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not. Same with the Marines. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE!?
Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. When I was a senior in high school, I had every intention in joining the Army and those fucks still annoyed me. :thumbsdn:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#4
Tell them that your $500 a day coke habit wouldn't permit you to join such a fine establishment as the U.S. Army/Marines/AirForce/National Guard/Coast Guard/Secret Service/C.I.A./whatever. Then ask if they would like to come over for a puff and a Pabst.
 

Jung

???
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#5
Just tell them you're gay. :thumbsup:
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#6
junglizm said:
Just tell them you're gay. :thumbsup:
Then they will want him even more....like I said, tender young ass.
 
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#7
One of my friends has a built-in excuse of a heart condition. Lucky bastard...
 

switch_scribe

dolor ex fides
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#8
brainwashmonkey said:
Tell them that your $500 a day coke habit wouldn't permit you to join such a fine establishment as the U.S. Army/Marines/AirForce/National Guard/Coast Guard/Secret Service/C.I.A./whatever. Then ask if they would like to come over for a puff and a Pabst.
This is also an effective treatment for excessive Mormons/Witnesses/Magazine subscription sellers at the door.
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
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#9
switch_scribe said:
This is also an effective treatment for excessive Mormons/Witnesses/Magazine subscription sellers at the door.
Anwsering the door naked with handcuffs still on one wrist works too.
 

blw72887

Just a poster
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#10
I know the feeling, I've received mail and phone calls from them, and I just keep telling them I'm not interested in joining.

Wish the "Do Not Call List" applied here :)
 

switch_scribe

dolor ex fides
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#11
bnccoder said:
Answering the door naked with handcuffs still on one wrist works too.
True story. Mormons at the door, and I answer the bell in an extremely tasteful swimsuit. They actually started stammering.

As to the military thing [sorry for the detour], I'm still getting mail and phone calls from various armed forces. It's been 8 years since they started in on me. I think my parents (both retired military) have been giving them my name.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#12
I told them I wanted to be a Forester, and if they had any ROTC programs that would help in the Environmental Sciences field, I would gladly join. They didn't. I won at the Military!
 

bnccoder

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#13
switch_scribe said:
True story. Mormons at the door, and I answer the bell in an extremely tasteful swimsuit. They actually started stammering.

As to the military thing [sorry for the detour], I'm still getting mail and phone calls from various armed forces. It's been 8 years since they started in on me. I think my parents (both retired military) have been giving them my name.
I think we need to see pictures of this to prove it was tasteful. :p
 

switch_scribe

dolor ex fides
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#14
bnccoder said:
I think we need to see pictures of this to prove it was tasteful. :p
Oh, of course. I understand completely.

Ready to see what got the Mormons all excited? :drool:

Well Here You Go...
 

el crotcho

Cooler than sliced cheese
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TheLampIncident said:
I keep telling them over and over again. I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not. Same with the Marines. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE!?
they did the same thing to me, until i told them to shove one of their guns up their ass and pull the fucking trigger :thumbsup:
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#18
The military is having a hard time meeting their recruiting marks right now. (Saw that on CNN a few days ago) They just aren't going to let up. It stops after a while. Although I did managed to finagle some pretty tight scholarship offers out of them first. ;)

As far as Mormons (aka MoMos) go, the funniest I ever saw was my friend. He said he felt guilty accepting something from someone he didn't know. To placate them they agreed to accept a gift from him in return. He handed them a copy of a book with a leather cover. Burnned into the cover was "Satan's Bible". (I think it was his physics text book if I remember right). They damn near shit.

the other good one was the jar of goats blood he gave to the Jehova's freaks. (It was chunky milk with red food coloring.)
 

bnccoder

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#19
UberSkippy said:
The military is having a hard time meeting their recruiting marks right now..........
You might want to edit that post before the mods see it