I keep telling them over and over again. I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not. Same with the Marines. SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE!?
Motherfuckers from the army
- Thread starter TheLampIncident
- Start date
TheLampIncident said:
Because they want your tender young ass for 8 weeks in an all male retreat.|
Tell them they are harrassing you and that you have no intentions of joining.
plus, recruiters are on commision.
Tell them that your $500 a day coke habit wouldn't permit you to join such a fine establishment as the U.S. Army/Marines/AirForce/National Guard/Coast Guard/Secret Service/C.I.A./whatever. Then ask if they would like to come over for a puff and a Pabst.
junglizm said:Just tell them you're gay.
Then they will want him even more....like I said, tender young ass.
One of my friends has a built-in excuse of a heart condition. Lucky bastard...
brainwashmonkey said:
This is also an effective treatment for excessive Mormons/Witnesses/Magazine subscription sellers at the door.
True story. Mormons at the door, and I answer the bell in an extremely tasteful swimsuit. They actually started stammering.bnccoder said:
As to the military thing [sorry for the detour], I'm still getting mail and phone calls from various armed forces. It's been 8 years since they started in on me. I think my parents (both retired military) have been giving them my name.
I told them I wanted to be a Forester, and if they had any ROTC programs that would help in the Environmental Sciences field, I would gladly join. They didn't. I won at the Military!
Oh, of course. I understand completely.bnccoder said:I think we need to see pictures of this to prove it was tasteful.
Ready to see what got the Mormons all excited?
Well Here You Go...
Psst -Sektor said:He meant pictures of it on you.
i knew that... that's what makes it funny
TheLampIncident said:
they did the same thing to me, until i told them to shove one of their guns up their ass and pull the fucking trigger
The military is having a hard time meeting their recruiting marks right now. (Saw that on CNN a few days ago) They just aren't going to let up. It stops after a while. Although I did managed to finagle some pretty tight scholarship offers out of them first.
As far as Mormons (aka MoMos) go, the funniest I ever saw was my friend. He said he felt guilty accepting something from someone he didn't know. To placate them they agreed to accept a gift from him in return. He handed them a copy of a book with a leather cover. Burnned into the cover was "Satan's Bible". (I think it was his physics text book if I remember right). They damn near shit.
the other good one was the jar of goats blood he gave to the Jehova's freaks. (It was chunky milk with red food coloring.)
As far as Mormons (aka MoMos) go, the funniest I ever saw was my friend. He said he felt guilty accepting something from someone he didn't know. To placate them they agreed to accept a gift from him in return. He handed them a copy of a book with a leather cover. Burnned into the cover was "Satan's Bible". (I think it was his physics text book if I remember right). They damn near shit.
the other good one was the jar of goats blood he gave to the Jehova's freaks. (It was chunky milk with red food coloring.)
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