Its that time again... you know where something pops into my head and I feel the need to find a forum for its discussion. So be warned, long entry comming up. I suggest you read it all, but I know there are some people who cant read very much at a time with out a dragon skulking spliting their skull in half and crawling out and then eating them while theyre ... incapacitated.
Alright seriously though. Ive been doing alot of thinking lately. (I know, thats dangerous) but it cant be helped. This.... issue Ive had has been so persistent in my mind and I feel as if Ill die from exasperation if I dont get it out.
Ill start by stating something that some may think makes little sense, (or some of you of the more devote orientation will laugh openly about.) Ive relized have lost my faith of sorts. How ever I dont speak of religion or spirituality. No I speak of my faith in the human "race" as we know it. Every day my understanding of our interactions grows but, unfortunately the product of what we do as a race errodes. The deccidance, the hypocracy spreads, the rediculousness of our actions, and more over the pure idiocy of our reasons for those actions ever grows more... worthless.
I am a heretic. I beleive that in every sense. I beleive against the grain of human society. I am honestly trying to "preach" my beleifs (to those who would listen) I do not follow the paths laid out for us by others. I bring words that will upset, anger, and invoke many negative emotions. Unfortunately due to many peoples inability to be open to criticism.
What do I mean? Simply put, we are moving away from who we are. And not particularly in a good way. We are soon to be no longer human as the masses would would consider us to be. What makes us, us is deterioating. More over we are ignoring the very things that make us WHO WE ARE. We ignore our wisdom, we ignore our ability to analyze, we ignore our empathy, in favor of things that are at best, momentary. Greed, Lust, Angst, and others are just a few things that become between us as a people, and our ability to think and rationalize clearly.
As a whole I beleive the human race is beginning to become disinterested, apathy grows rampant in our youth. We constantly lie to our selves, to our loved and hated ones alike. We live in a world that is worlds apart from what we truely are stationed in. I dont understand it... Maybe Im being unrealistic, but my expectations for what we should be, what we should be doing, are not being met. (Now before you start to lable me in your defense, in my defense, in our defense. I want you to relize a few things, this is not arrogance speaking, I dont beleive that the world of humans would do every thing I, say they should. I am but one being in a large part of a whole. But, while my actions and thoughts alone may not show the whole properly, they do aspire to contribute to fixing this problem. I am no jesus, I am no buddah, I will never, ever claim to be perfect or to claim to know anything better than any one. Ever. In fact the opisite happens, I fail my self at time too, and I react just as harsh and my words are just as scathing to myself as others. I dont hold my self out of these statements.
However read what I say and tell me Im wrong. Give me proof that Im misjudging the race. TELL ME HOW I AM NOT SEEING THESE THINGS WITH MY OWN FUCKING EYES, HEARING THESE THINGS WITH MY EARS, FEELING THE EVER OVERWHELMING UNCARING THE SPREADS. Prove it to me, so that my problem will be done. I dont say these things to hurt or to upset, I say them in hopes that I am wrong, which obviously I dont beleive I am. I say these things in hopes that some one will prove me wrong. But in all fairness if such a person or something fails to come about, it is my hope that through concious awareness and consideration to what we are becoming, that this problem will be dealt with properly.)
Now, my expectations... what are they, why are they so high? Whats wrong with our race? In truth I dont even know the true depth of the dispair I feel...yet, the overwhelming doubt in ourselves and others. I cant begin to tell you about the whole world when I only have experienced an island. But I can at least give you my interpertation of whats going on, and at least the "tip of the iceberg".
Why do we wage war? Religion and greed... Why do we lie so openly and often? Its easier and oft have good intentions. Why do we fight amongst our selves on grandoise scales? We feel it necissary to compliment our group's views rather than form our own. (who wants to be an outcast?) Why are we stagnating in most concievble areas of life? Wheres the new innovations in art, music, and literature? There can be no innovativeness when all we do is take anothers work, and just rearrange it. Thats not new, thats not creating, thats just putting ones personal preference on how they think something should of been done on an item.
Let me give you some outstanding items of contempt I have found on this earth.
- The U S of fucking A. We stand for peace, love, justic, and all that is good and right in this world.
Well wheres the peace at? We seemed to have misplaced that in favor of the economy and personal vendettas on a grander scale. We suffer from a NATIONAL vendetta. Its well and good to want to protect your selves, and those you care for. Its understandable to striker back at some one if they strike at you. How ever we do so in such ways that are NOT correct. Familiar with bigotry? Bigotry, a byproduct of war and uncertanty. Born of the taboo of hurting, maiming and killing other humans. To counteract the inhumaness of killing we dehumanize the "enemy". Name a war where we fought another human. Never. Always bigotry to protect our cause, justifying it as right and just. According to this we havnt fought a human, ever. All we ever battled have been (pardon me for this) gooks, slants, yankees, red coats, nigers, ruskies, commies, jews, nazis, red men/savages, charlies, heathen, towelheads. Not once in our history have we fought another human being. No one takes the time any more to relize for all the failings of another person you may be at war with (be it personal or political, private or national) that that person has a family. They they have loved ones, they sweat and bleed cry hate and love just as any one else does. They may do so differently, but they do do it. This blatant falsehood we pull over our selves as a blanket to protect ourselves from what our concious tell us is wrong. Wrong to such an extent that we fabricate the subgroups, categories simply stating that other people are inferrior to us and that they and their lives can be discarded with little remorse. And I mean every thing Ive just said for all peoples of all nationalities. Not just "Americans" though we done a fair amount of it ourselves.
Justice, love, ha! These ideals never factor into any war waged. I fight you because, I love you. I think it justified that I take your life so that my dreams and wants take precedence. What utter rediculousness. After the incedent (as loath as I am to bring it up after every one else quotes it, I must for it applys perfectly) of 9-11, suddently every one stopped thinking rationally, only thinking of two things. Fear and loathing (how apt). Revenge covered in subterfuge of proactive defense. Fear covered in the properganda of protecting our loved ones and possesions. Wheres the justice in killing american soldiers who took out a dictator as obnoxtiously evil as Sadam? Wheres the justice in armed soldiers being sent from the land they protect to police, govern, and tax (not econimcally) a nation who never formally asked for its protection the first place? Where is the justice of killing a teenager who was brought up to believe in hating americans, and whats worse, wheres the justice in those who indoctrinated them into believing such?
- The complete and utter ceasation of caring about the future. The future of the race, the planet that suffers us, the peoples who we're related to in every aspect genetically?
Asofar as I can assertain, teenage apathy grows, as does angst. I know, Ive felt it, I feel its call, its insidious whispers, but from where? I dont know! What is happening that we now walk around caring not a lick of our lives, of the future, trading apreciation of tradition, order, and more importantly POSSIBILITIES, for the here and now. Now, then, the here to come. all are equally important. History teaches much, we must live in the now, and more over we must prepare for the next to come. Why do people put preference for one over the other?
I have much more to say, I truely do, in person I could talk your ear off for hours on end about this. Unfortunately my time has been used up this night for the most part. I have just said goodnight to one of the few people that gives me hope that just maybe we arnt all calous harden non caring and selfcentered.
But before I get off to go to bed (I work tomarrow morning, and I got another job too now.) I have to exsplain something, something that Melissa asked me. She asked why this is so important to me. She brought up the point that Ive stated, being that you are here and now and will be long dead and gone by the time what I fear will ultimately come to pass. (that being our extinction) and to this I replied that I care so much about this, Im so passionate about this because its how I think. Im a rather empathtic person to begin with, but more over it seems that no one else has these concerns. At least not constently, not around here. I am the only one around here that thinks this way. My way of thinking is just so different from every one else Ive encountered. I worry about this not only because I have a personal stake in this, but also because every one else does as well. Do people not think of their future offspring? What about our trillion, Trillion, TRILLION dollar deficent? That was the figure I last checked. Did you know medicare will collapse about the time we of my age will come to need it? We will pay for it all our life and see nothing, the same for our children.
I chose to burden myself with these thoughts in hopes that some one else will come to share it with me, and then someone else to share it with us and then another and another till every one wakes the fuck up and relizes whats going on. I worry for those who cannot, will not, dont know that they should in fact worry. At this very moment I choose to burden my self with this worlds debt, this worlds problem because I am the only one I know of now that has this view. Every one is so limited to today, and tomarrow, next week.. they see a fraction of the picture. I am concerned with the entire work. I see it from one side of the frame to the other. I may not know every thing invovled in the picture, I may not see every thing in the picture in minute detail but damn it at least I see the WHOLE.
So ask your self, is it worth it? Is it worth living our lives only to stagnat and die? Is it worth seeking the amusement today if that same amusement will eventually doom our entire race? Do you want that on your concious? Can you live (or die) with that in your heart, on your mind, dragging at your heels? Can you?
Alright seriously though. Ive been doing alot of thinking lately. (I know, thats dangerous) but it cant be helped. This.... issue Ive had has been so persistent in my mind and I feel as if Ill die from exasperation if I dont get it out.
Ill start by stating something that some may think makes little sense, (or some of you of the more devote orientation will laugh openly about.) Ive relized have lost my faith of sorts. How ever I dont speak of religion or spirituality. No I speak of my faith in the human "race" as we know it. Every day my understanding of our interactions grows but, unfortunately the product of what we do as a race errodes. The deccidance, the hypocracy spreads, the rediculousness of our actions, and more over the pure idiocy of our reasons for those actions ever grows more... worthless.
I am a heretic. I beleive that in every sense. I beleive against the grain of human society. I am honestly trying to "preach" my beleifs (to those who would listen) I do not follow the paths laid out for us by others. I bring words that will upset, anger, and invoke many negative emotions. Unfortunately due to many peoples inability to be open to criticism.
What do I mean? Simply put, we are moving away from who we are. And not particularly in a good way. We are soon to be no longer human as the masses would would consider us to be. What makes us, us is deterioating. More over we are ignoring the very things that make us WHO WE ARE. We ignore our wisdom, we ignore our ability to analyze, we ignore our empathy, in favor of things that are at best, momentary. Greed, Lust, Angst, and others are just a few things that become between us as a people, and our ability to think and rationalize clearly.
As a whole I beleive the human race is beginning to become disinterested, apathy grows rampant in our youth. We constantly lie to our selves, to our loved and hated ones alike. We live in a world that is worlds apart from what we truely are stationed in. I dont understand it... Maybe Im being unrealistic, but my expectations for what we should be, what we should be doing, are not being met. (Now before you start to lable me in your defense, in my defense, in our defense. I want you to relize a few things, this is not arrogance speaking, I dont beleive that the world of humans would do every thing I, say they should. I am but one being in a large part of a whole. But, while my actions and thoughts alone may not show the whole properly, they do aspire to contribute to fixing this problem. I am no jesus, I am no buddah, I will never, ever claim to be perfect or to claim to know anything better than any one. Ever. In fact the opisite happens, I fail my self at time too, and I react just as harsh and my words are just as scathing to myself as others. I dont hold my self out of these statements.
However read what I say and tell me Im wrong. Give me proof that Im misjudging the race. TELL ME HOW I AM NOT SEEING THESE THINGS WITH MY OWN FUCKING EYES, HEARING THESE THINGS WITH MY EARS, FEELING THE EVER OVERWHELMING UNCARING THE SPREADS. Prove it to me, so that my problem will be done. I dont say these things to hurt or to upset, I say them in hopes that I am wrong, which obviously I dont beleive I am. I say these things in hopes that some one will prove me wrong. But in all fairness if such a person or something fails to come about, it is my hope that through concious awareness and consideration to what we are becoming, that this problem will be dealt with properly.)
Now, my expectations... what are they, why are they so high? Whats wrong with our race? In truth I dont even know the true depth of the dispair I feel...yet, the overwhelming doubt in ourselves and others. I cant begin to tell you about the whole world when I only have experienced an island. But I can at least give you my interpertation of whats going on, and at least the "tip of the iceberg".
Why do we wage war? Religion and greed... Why do we lie so openly and often? Its easier and oft have good intentions. Why do we fight amongst our selves on grandoise scales? We feel it necissary to compliment our group's views rather than form our own. (who wants to be an outcast?) Why are we stagnating in most concievble areas of life? Wheres the new innovations in art, music, and literature? There can be no innovativeness when all we do is take anothers work, and just rearrange it. Thats not new, thats not creating, thats just putting ones personal preference on how they think something should of been done on an item.
Let me give you some outstanding items of contempt I have found on this earth.
- The U S of fucking A. We stand for peace, love, justic, and all that is good and right in this world.
Well wheres the peace at? We seemed to have misplaced that in favor of the economy and personal vendettas on a grander scale. We suffer from a NATIONAL vendetta. Its well and good to want to protect your selves, and those you care for. Its understandable to striker back at some one if they strike at you. How ever we do so in such ways that are NOT correct. Familiar with bigotry? Bigotry, a byproduct of war and uncertanty. Born of the taboo of hurting, maiming and killing other humans. To counteract the inhumaness of killing we dehumanize the "enemy". Name a war where we fought another human. Never. Always bigotry to protect our cause, justifying it as right and just. According to this we havnt fought a human, ever. All we ever battled have been (pardon me for this) gooks, slants, yankees, red coats, nigers, ruskies, commies, jews, nazis, red men/savages, charlies, heathen, towelheads. Not once in our history have we fought another human being. No one takes the time any more to relize for all the failings of another person you may be at war with (be it personal or political, private or national) that that person has a family. They they have loved ones, they sweat and bleed cry hate and love just as any one else does. They may do so differently, but they do do it. This blatant falsehood we pull over our selves as a blanket to protect ourselves from what our concious tell us is wrong. Wrong to such an extent that we fabricate the subgroups, categories simply stating that other people are inferrior to us and that they and their lives can be discarded with little remorse. And I mean every thing Ive just said for all peoples of all nationalities. Not just "Americans" though we done a fair amount of it ourselves.
Justice, love, ha! These ideals never factor into any war waged. I fight you because, I love you. I think it justified that I take your life so that my dreams and wants take precedence. What utter rediculousness. After the incedent (as loath as I am to bring it up after every one else quotes it, I must for it applys perfectly) of 9-11, suddently every one stopped thinking rationally, only thinking of two things. Fear and loathing (how apt). Revenge covered in subterfuge of proactive defense. Fear covered in the properganda of protecting our loved ones and possesions. Wheres the justice in killing american soldiers who took out a dictator as obnoxtiously evil as Sadam? Wheres the justice in armed soldiers being sent from the land they protect to police, govern, and tax (not econimcally) a nation who never formally asked for its protection the first place? Where is the justice of killing a teenager who was brought up to believe in hating americans, and whats worse, wheres the justice in those who indoctrinated them into believing such?
- The complete and utter ceasation of caring about the future. The future of the race, the planet that suffers us, the peoples who we're related to in every aspect genetically?
Asofar as I can assertain, teenage apathy grows, as does angst. I know, Ive felt it, I feel its call, its insidious whispers, but from where? I dont know! What is happening that we now walk around caring not a lick of our lives, of the future, trading apreciation of tradition, order, and more importantly POSSIBILITIES, for the here and now. Now, then, the here to come. all are equally important. History teaches much, we must live in the now, and more over we must prepare for the next to come. Why do people put preference for one over the other?
I have much more to say, I truely do, in person I could talk your ear off for hours on end about this. Unfortunately my time has been used up this night for the most part. I have just said goodnight to one of the few people that gives me hope that just maybe we arnt all calous harden non caring and selfcentered.
But before I get off to go to bed (I work tomarrow morning, and I got another job too now.) I have to exsplain something, something that Melissa asked me. She asked why this is so important to me. She brought up the point that Ive stated, being that you are here and now and will be long dead and gone by the time what I fear will ultimately come to pass. (that being our extinction) and to this I replied that I care so much about this, Im so passionate about this because its how I think. Im a rather empathtic person to begin with, but more over it seems that no one else has these concerns. At least not constently, not around here. I am the only one around here that thinks this way. My way of thinking is just so different from every one else Ive encountered. I worry about this not only because I have a personal stake in this, but also because every one else does as well. Do people not think of their future offspring? What about our trillion, Trillion, TRILLION dollar deficent? That was the figure I last checked. Did you know medicare will collapse about the time we of my age will come to need it? We will pay for it all our life and see nothing, the same for our children.
I chose to burden myself with these thoughts in hopes that some one else will come to share it with me, and then someone else to share it with us and then another and another till every one wakes the fuck up and relizes whats going on. I worry for those who cannot, will not, dont know that they should in fact worry. At this very moment I choose to burden my self with this worlds debt, this worlds problem because I am the only one I know of now that has this view. Every one is so limited to today, and tomarrow, next week.. they see a fraction of the picture. I am concerned with the entire work. I see it from one side of the frame to the other. I may not know every thing invovled in the picture, I may not see every thing in the picture in minute detail but damn it at least I see the WHOLE.
So ask your self, is it worth it? Is it worth living our lives only to stagnat and die? Is it worth seeking the amusement today if that same amusement will eventually doom our entire race? Do you want that on your concious? Can you live (or die) with that in your heart, on your mind, dragging at your heels? Can you?
