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My friends moving poem

JLXC

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#1
If you knew the guy, you'de never in a millions years guess he has the soul of a poet deep inside. He sent me this, and I just have to share it. Like it or not, it's deep.

I am here again......


I sit here surrounded
Yet I am all alone
Noises from all directions call
But all I hear is a drone

While I am here
There is no end
I hear them mock me
My very soul they rend

In my dreams sanity calls
Friends await me, arms wide
They bring solstice to a weary heart
But with morning hope falls

That sound beckons to begin anew
The sound that drives the human race
Fall into us, let your spirit die
Beep...Beep...Beep, your soul askew
 

Brain Spout

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#2
sounds like it's about an alarm clock... it's good poetry, but the topic at hand is not that deep imo. if this person wrote about something deep to begin with i bet it would be really good. :thumbsup:
 

JLXC

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#3
WizardlyFriend said:
sounds like it's about an alarm clock... it's good poetry, but the topic at hand is not that deep imo. if this person wrote about something deep to begin with i bet it would be really good. :thumbsup:
Oh there is an element of alarm clock in it, be there no doubt. There's so so much more it's saying, maybe I'm just closer so I get it better.

It's about the waking world vs. the dream world.
It's about angst and suffering.
It's about hopes and fears.

The alarm clock is just a symbol. A small piece of the whole.
 

LiberatioN

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#5
That's pretty good. Unless it was themed (which now, I'm guessing it was) I wouldn't have made it so apparent in the wording that he was talking about an alarm clock and just name the poem Alarm Clock, but other than that, I thought it was pretty good. This poem reflects alot of my writing...those poems that seek to find meaning in otherwise redundant actions in life...redundant thought process through which people forget about what's essential to life.

Lib's Poem-O-Meter gives it an 8 of 10. :thumbsup:
 

DIZNUTS

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#6
its pretty good....you should get him to send you some more so you can post it :thumbsup:
 

screwy

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#7
I personally have trouble with any poem that contains the words "sanity" or (though not in this particular one, they usually both go hand in hand) "strife", but thia actually 'aint bad, considering it's just another monotonous and cliche poem about who knows what. Still a lot better than most other poems I've read on this website. Do you have anymore of his?
 

JLXC

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#8
Thanks for the interest guys, I'm sorry I don't have any more, this may be his first to be honest. This poem was NOT themed on an alarm clock. It was themed about his lack of caring for the waking world the alarm clock bit is just how he wakes, and it signals the coming of reality. I didn't know he could write such things. Hopefully he writes more in the future.