!!!!!!!my Jesse !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
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Alright my Jesse. I have emailed ya. I have wrote ya. I have left you a message on yahoo. So lets try this. If by the slight chance you are still upset with me and are choosing to ignore me. Maybe you will come here and read this. Listen I know I haven't been the best of person lately and I feel under stress too...not as bad as you and I am scared and I don't know how to reach you right now or how to respond to the things you are telling me.

I have 10 unfinshed letter Baby. Stacks of things that need to be sent to you and I know... that i could do so much more for you and haven't. For that I am sorry. I am missing you so much right now and I love you so much. They called us the other day and you know th reason and I am so scared and its been 3 or 4 days and there is no word from you. So i don't care if you reply back so much as "Get Fucked" At least let me know your ok. I hope some how i get an answer from you.

I been confused lately a tad bit (when am I not). I want the guy back in my life who watches cartoons with me, who wonders what I see in Dale Earnheart Jr. Who wonders why i can't go under 90mph. I want the guy that holds me till I fall asleep and sneaks off to play video games or hides the chocolate bunny; only to find it 9 months later. I want the Jesse that let me put Angel wings on him and still smiles for pictures.


I just want you back... the one person that means everything to me. The one person that makes life have meaning or some reason for me to push myself again. I want you home hun and I am not sure how I am doing this with out you. I need the person who just lets me cry...only to find all the wrong words to make me laugh. That imperfect guy that I have come to love so much..... even more then racing my cars and well Jr found a girlfriend so i am stuck with ya. Jesse I have come to realize that you are my strenght and with out you I am like the weakest person....

I don't care anymore about a wedding. Its not that anymore or rings or anything else. Yeah our wedding night wasn't the greatest but look at it. That day is the stuff dreams are made out, our dreams.... GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!

I hope you Notice this. I hope you read this or my email or something.... I hope you understand and reply back to me. I don't care what it is at this moment Jesse. I am not the best at expressing how I feel openly....

oh fuck it. I just plan out suck... Hun, Please call, write, come home safetly to me. I am losted with out you.

Forever your Angel,

Your Wife.
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
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*bumps*

I have wrote one thousand words
painted them in the most brilliant colors
still to have them fail
to be beautiful enough for you.

I have made a wish upon a million stars
and not have them be bright enough
to hold your face in the heavens.


I have spent all day and night
drunk on tears i cried for you
while whispering into the night
I love you

Making love to your illusion
kissing your lips of foolish pleasure
and holding you in my empty air
and still smile at your voice.

*bumps*
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
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I got your tiny bottle of sand and I opened it up and dumped some in my hand. It felt so pure and corse and for a moment I got to touch your world. Your a thousand some odd miles from me, I don't where you are at and it huants me in my dreams. Always just the same as I fell asleep with your jacket last night again. I cried upon it just like you said I would. You know me better then i know myself some days.

I am not the greatest, far from perfect. I may not be always able to offer you the best. There are some things i have come to regret and others I come to respect. I just want you to know. I am missing you more and more. I don't know where to go from here.

I just reach my hands out and i go to lay them on your face and it turns to another dream, same old illusion. I try to hold onto it. I try to pull it close. I try to keep my eyes shut so it don't diapear. In the end its gone...so I think when your coming home...but it seems so far.

I wonder if the day will be warn or cold. If god will let the sunshine or if he will make the beautiful rain fall. It hasn't looked quite the same since you kissed me in it last. Nor has a tripple shot iced moca with extra ice and no cream taste as sweet as it does on your lips...

I promise when you come home. I will have an iced moca there waiting for you with a bag of reices peices and peanutbutter M&M's along with me....

I promise I will be there for you... no matter what. I promise you with everything I have left to promise you. I don't care anymore I just want you home.... but I know... and I realize, I understand.

There is never a moment that I am not proud of you or what you have become and what you are trying to do. I am proud of you. You are my lover, my freind and my hero...
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
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Ok for those of you who use to read my writting before I removed it A wtf member asked me to write about about Jesse coming home. I replied with I can't It seems so far from.

Well I was staring at some pictures of him and this is the resluts.



His hand graced my face and pushed my hair back, I felt his strong arms slide around my waist and he pulled me close with one arm and kissed my trembling lips full of smiles. I wrapped my arms around him like I was never going to let him leave me again and embraced him as if he was the missing peice of my soul.

I can't recall if it was sunny or warm that day..ahh it didn't really matter. Two years down the road and we both have changed so much. I stared into his bright blue eyes, they still looked as inoccent and boyish as i remembered them. I felt his hands trace the curvs of my body his fringers grace my lips, before taking my hand in his. He never let me go as his family members huged him.

We both knew what was on our mind. At had been so long since we had been lovers... are body ache for each other. The passion could be felt with in our hearts and the first moment we got alone would be ours.

The day drifted so fast and the nights beckoning calls did not go unanswered. I felt his body close to mine as he gently removed my clothes, the cool feeling of his metal dog tags that ran over my body as he kissed down me. This moment, was ours....

Silince loud echoing moans escaped into the air, whispers of lover's secrets filled our ears. Dirty thoughts, dreams and fantasy now played out and real. It was this, this that we both missed. This closesness, this touch..this overlapping passion that washed over us like the waves on a smooth beach.

It didn't have to be sugar coated or colored with fancy flowers and candles... It was special all its on. Only a soldier and his lover would know the true calling of wanting each other so much, for so long. That's what make this moment worth every drop of unexplained love that boiled into the very exist of human beings.

As we layed therehim on his back, me curled up slightly on him, hair toiled around my face, ear gently over his heart, his arms smoothly around me... both half a sleep in a dreamy thirst quency exist... we remember what it was like not so long ago.. when all we had was the faith in ourself and each other...to bring us to this the begaining of a new journey and the end of an old one.
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
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Why do somedays make me miss you more then others. Damn all you been doing is playing in my mind. I ate chilli cheese fries and missed ya. Even the smell of your soap can bring me tears..... Or laying in our bed.

I feel so alone right now Jesse. I wish with all my heart this was over. I don't want to go another day let alone 8 months. Your not missing anything back here sweety. Nothing, its just blah. the rain isn't beautiful cause your not here. Music is just there...cause your not there for me to sing too... or annoy with or just dance to with.

I just want you here I just want to make love to you. I want to read to you. I want to hug you.... cuddle you... kiss you... touch you... I want to remind myself that you are real.... i want to remind myself that im not forgotten. that I have someone there who loves me as much as i love them. I just want you... my jesse...

*sigh*

is there is a 3% chance you will even read this..........


:(
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
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LOL

it comes back to a 3% chance that you got time to sit on wtf.com and look at the threads.
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
0
I used the luck factor math.



ok see there was a 100% chance that you could read this thread right? Well the put in the luck factor. My luck factor is caculated by how lucky I am.



Welll Let see I have gotten lucky with you.... in 365.5 days 5 times in the last years. ok so that would put us at a 5% chance right.....

now we got to add in on the lucky things that happen to us.... -2

now add 5+ -2= 3

there for I had a 3% chance that you would read this.

Don't argue soldier boy... i will rape ya
 
deus_ex_machina

deus_ex_machina

Etc
1,992
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I hate to break this heartwarming moment but girls dont rape guys. it happens the other way around. dont ban me, please. im paranoid, sorry. but im just tellin the truth
 
_Kitana_

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
31
0
deus_ex_machina said:
I hate to break this heartwarming moment but girls dont rape guys. it happens the other way around. dont ban me, please. im paranoid, sorry. but im just tellin the truth
Click to expand...


Sure they do...

If I tied you up... pulled your pants down and shoved a strapon up your ass...

and you was screaming stop, please no....

thats rape right?

of corse thats not in the context i am talking about...
 
The_DEAL

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
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_Kitana_ said:
Sure they do...

If I tied you up... pulled your pants down and shoved a strapon up your ass...

and you was screaming stop, please no....

thats rape right?

of corse thats not in the context i am talking about...
Click to expand...
SOUNDS LIKE PERSONAL EXPERINCE
 
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