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My mom is an asshole.

Discussion in 'Life Sucks' started by Lynne, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. Lynne

    Lynne FEED ME!

    I'm sure you are all well aware of the earthquake in Chile this morning, so I'll skip the shit and go on with the rant.

    I'm skyping with my dad telling him about the whole earthquake thing. The subject changes to a car he's going to send next month (or was going to send, whatever), so he sends me the pictures. Turns out I dont' like the car, so I tell him the truth. I also say he needs a refund because the fucking thing is in terrible conditions.

    My mom comes in. She says the car is nice and that it's her favorite stinking color and stuff, but that it needs maintenance (sp?). So....here comes the shit.

    I've wanted a new Macintosh for ages. He spent like $5000 on that piece of junk, so I say he could've spent $4000 and gotten me a new Mac (of course I'm joking). He laughs and my mom does too. So he starts ranting about how much we need a new car and our actual car not working the way it's supposed to. He says he'll buy the Mac when he can.

    My mom starts laughing like maniac saying I'll never get the fucking Mac because I don't deserve it and that I'll have to work (btw, there's no work for people here that are 1. underage and 2. don't have a college degree. Or at least none that I know of) to get my Mac. See, the thing is that I'm really really REALLY into graphic design and photography, and I don't want the new thing to fuck around with it, I want it to STUDY and WORK with. I tell her that and she ignores me and laughs more.

    Since we're all "joking", but of course the thing's getting a bit thick, I pinch her sort of hard in a "joking" sort of way. She yells at me saying she won't tolerate any more violence from me (when she's the one that usually beats the shit out of me) and rats me out with my dad about it. He yells at me, and says I've grown up to be a bad young lady and that I should change.

    Needless to say, my mom yelled at me after we hung up with my dad, and beat me with a hanger (yes, the things we hang clothes on. Try hitting yourself with one, they hurt BAD) threw a candle at me and wrecked my room. Tomorrow she's going to rant about how messed up it is and how it's my fucking fault it's like that.

    Well, my TV was already broken because of the quake, most of my clothes fell off its place and my bed moved over a few inches. She just finished the inevitable: my bedroom is officially a disaster zone.

    I'm in my living room as I type this thinking about the fucking earthquake, the replicas and what would happen if me or my mom died right now. I feel like apologizing, but she'd just yell more and probably beat me again. Honestly, I don't know what to do.
  2. BeanBurrito

    BeanBurrito Chocolate Walrus

    You're mom beat you with a fucking hanger? Jesus Christ! Can't you do anything about it? Defend yourself somehow? I would tell you to fight back, but If she's the one supporting you, that's probably not too smart. Where is your dad? Does he know your mom is fucking abusive? Is he abusive too? Has anyone ever seen any marks from your mom hitting you? I'd imagine a fuckin' hanger would leave some serious bruises and cuts. Sounds like you're in a pretty shitty situation.
  3. JLXC

    JLXC WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic

    Your mom is an asshole. You're dad isn't helping. You aren't either. You're gonna have to suck it up until you decide to move out on your own and do something. Don't expect people to get you shit, sadly you generally DO have to earn it yourself. It's not impossible, if it is in your area, leave that area and find somewhere you can live. Good luck.
  4. Agent Trap

    Agent Trap Blood Thirsty

    get a scar, then you will have proof to show the court
  5. Kiwi

    Kiwi Tal'chak'amel

    Well you know the whole earthquake thing might be getting on her nerves and making her act more nervously than in normal times, you too I guess. You both are dealing with a lot of stress so it's not helping. Plus your dad knows now that you need the Mac so when he can, he'll buy it, in the meantime suck it up or look for a job (you can always babysit or give classes or something like that if you don't find a "real" job) so you can help.

    And well, seeing the circumstances, the Mac is not a priority right now. You can wait. Just go talk to her and avoid hanger range. Tell her you are both nervous because of all the things going on.
  6. MaxPower

    MaxPower You're my number two Staff

    Just a note on Mac and their place in the photography industry. Where it is true that there are Macs in the photo industry, and for some reason they are thought of as the standard in that industry, they are not. I have done extensive consulting work in network implementation and operations for various photo studios and chains. For the most part, the staff who are tasked with retouching and manipulating photos use high powered PCs. The only reason most of them have Macs is to get advertising dollars from Mac. Hell one place which is the second largest photography studio in NY, has Mac monitors and keyboards connected to hidden PCs under the desk and a Mac mini on top. Mac is all hype. The irony is that the owner of this place is a staunch Mac supporter and uses nothing but Mac in his personal life. But even he knows the bottom line.

    PC's running Photoshop do just as good a job as an equivalent specification Mac, far cheaper. Unless you just want the status among your peers by spending way too much on a Mac, do yourself a favor and get a high spec PC. Spend your money on horsepower and the software you need to work your desired trade.
  7. HoneyImHome

    HoneyImHome sugar-coated cynicism

    I have to agree with Max about Mac computers and photo work. I have been a novice photographer/designer for years (not as good at it as I'd like to be but my time right now is limited) and I've only used pc's. I run several different photo editors at once when I do work with it and I have never had a problem. Recently we looked into getting my daughter a computer for her college that would best suit her needs and discovered you can get a pc far (I mean FAR) cheaper that is just as capable to run very graphic-intensive programs on than a Mac. The price difference is ridiculous. I always heard it was an industry standard as well, but so far I've yet to see otherwise as well. My daughter's computer lab uses nothing but IBM-based pc's and her university is a large one with newly equipped labs and classrooms. Her major is Media Design in Communications. After doing the research and comparisons we ended up getting her a very awesome Hewlitt Packard laptop and she's been more than happy with it.

    As far as your mom goes I would avoid "play" violence with her if she's prone to real violence herself. If she is the type to hit then she's not someone who can take playful hits or pinches without potentially flying off the handle. Like others I would say it sounds like you need a car far more than a computer at the moment so just be patient and wait for that. Also, I think you were a bit ungracious about the car. Many kids don't get cars at all so really be happy you are getting one. You say it's a piece of junk that needs work but you didn't go more into that. Is the work needed really extensive or is it more like things that are "nagging" complaints. I don't know how old you are, I get the impression you're in your teens though so I really don't want you to think I'm patronizing you but I find it hard to believe your dad spent 5000 on a car that really was that poorly maintained without doing more research than you have. It may not be the car of your dreams but it's a car nonetheless.

    I don't know what to tell you about your mom and her attacks. As awful as it sounds you might consider your alternatives and how much longer you will have to deal with her. Sometimes getting courts or child services involved at your age can end up being worse than just riding out the remainder of your time there, especially if you know you will be leaving for college soon. Foster care for teens can be worse at times than your parent, especially since you typically know how to avoid confrontation with your own parent and you don't know what you might get into with foster care. That being said, I don't want to scare you away from it either as violence against a child is truly unacceptable but again, I don't know what your conditions are like there as far as child services or foster care,etc so I feel a bit unqualified suggesting anything. Just keep your chin up and try to avoid upsetting her. I hope your time there can be short.
  8. Lynne

    Lynne FEED ME!

    I guess I'll have to make my research on a PC that can run just as well as a Mac.

    Just to clarify something, the car isn't for me, but for our whole family; and it IS a piece of junk. It's a 2001 Volkswagen Passat. The car is nice in regular conditions, but the thing is just fucked up. The interiors are shredded, it's got tons of bumps and parts of the paint job are scratched. The previous owner got it new in 2001, but it looks like it's been used for 15 years and NEVER washed. Honey, I haven't done any research myself, but it's completely evident. There are more decent cars on sites like craigslist and I've seen cars in better shape for much less.

    As far as the abuse goes, I'm not considering calling social services. Court isn't an option either because I'd be separated from my mom and probably lose everything I've got, including my studying options. My dad is in the US working, and the rest of my family turn their heads around and ignore our problem. We both need help, but she refuses to admit it. I'll try talking to her like socialized beings when she gets up, but I don't know what I'm going to get from that....
  9. BeanBurrito

    BeanBurrito Chocolate Walrus

    Have you at least talked to your dad about this? If he isn't abusive himself, I'm sure he'd fucking lose it if he knew she was beating you with a MOTHER FUCKING HANGER! And yeah, a 9 year old car that's in good condition should go for around 5 grand.
  10. Lynne

    Lynne FEED ME!

    Yep, a 9 y.o. car in GOOD CONDITIONS. The thing is FUCKED. The engine works fine though, so does the A/C and the electric windows. But the interiors and exteriors are just pitiful.

    Yes, I've talked to my dad and he said my mom wouldn't beat me without a good reason for it. Sure, a good reason for it is a playful pinch. Or a negative comment about some tacky shirt/pice of furniture/article/attitude/whatever, me talking back because she's disrespecting me.
  11. HoneyImHome

    HoneyImHome sugar-coated cynicism

    Yes, how about your father? Does he know about this?

    Interior is just about the last thing to look at in used cars, and as for scratches and dents, I'd have to say that is low priority as well. If he knows the car is in good running condition and it's only had one owner, I'd say it sounds like a good car. You can use a bit of elbow grease to make the interior look better. If it's the family car I hate to say it but you have even less say in the matter, especially if you are thinking the priority should be a computer for yourself. I'm not saying you deserved to be attacked by your mother in any way. Your mom needs help and fast! I'm just wanting to, maybe, help explain things from another perspective that your mom probably can't communicate civilly herself.

    EDIT: sorry I was typing while you answered the question about your father. I am sorry.
  12. Lynne

    Lynne FEED ME!

    I dont' think the priority is a computer for myself, I was just joking about that.

    And, well yeah HIH, I guess you're right. I don't have a word or opinion in the matter of a car. I'll still try talking to her about the abuse though, but I don't know if it's going to work....
  13. HoneyImHome

    HoneyImHome sugar-coated cynicism

    Good luck and be careful!

    Edit: by the way, you can give your mom your opinion about the car, just don't overdo it. As in state that it is just your opinion and you know you don't have too much say in the matter. That way, she'll know you are respecting her authority in the matter.
  14. tuchmewhereipee

    tuchmewhereipee Ground control to Major Tom.

    is no one going to say it?

    No one?


    If she hits you, its because she has problems of her own and she's troubled.

    Know how to handle it, if your father isn't willing to help?

    You sock her back.
  15. Lynne

    Lynne FEED ME!

    I'm not "socking her back". She's my mother, and even if she is a bitch she deserves some amount of respect.
  16. Tai

    Tai Ba da ba ba ba!

    For the record, women are bitches, guys are assholes. Calling your mom an asshole is like calling your dad a bitch.
  17. tuchmewhereipee

    tuchmewhereipee Ground control to Major Tom.

    From what you're saying, she has zero respect for you, what you have to say...

    You have no respect for yourself if you just stay there and be abused everyday.
  18. BeanBurrito

    BeanBurrito Chocolate Walrus

    What I mean was you should easily be able to find a car in good condition for that price that isn't a piece of shit.

    And there's a difference between slapping you and hitting you with a goddamn hanger. Nobody deserves getting hit with a hammer unless they kill babies or rape people or crazy awful shit like that. I would agree with tuchme on hitting her back, but you obviously still need her for support as well, so that's not an option. But she absolutely DOES NOT deserve anybody's respect. If you're dad can't understand and try to talk some sense into her, I guess your fucked 'til you move out.
  19. HoneyImHome

    HoneyImHome sugar-coated cynicism

    Please don't hit back. You can make defensive maneuvers but I would not recommend hitting back. Shove her aside perhaps but a blow might enrage her to a point of no return. If she is violent enough to strike at you for virtually little to no reason, who knows where she might go if you strike back. Sure, it MIGHT stop it but it could turn very dangerously bad. Run out of the house and return later. This is hard, if the abuse is what you say it is it is very easy for us all to scream for you to hit back or leave your home for good but I know that often the alternatives can be worse than the current situation. If you can learn her switches and avoid doing anything that might upset her, do that. How much longer do you HAVE to live with her? If you have a couple of years before you are out, then as hard as it might sound, tough it out. If she starts to attack, LEAVE! Get out of the house until she's had time to calm down. If, when you return she is still violent, then I would say you are at the point of having little choice but to call the police. At least if you run out of the house you might be able to have witnesses to her rage, not to mention I'm sure there are marks on you that will easily prove abuse.

    I can't believe your dad thought you deserved to be hit with a hanger though... I don't think you will receive much help from him and I dare say if that's how they think people should handle their rage then you need to take your chances and get out. I wish I could tell you some magical solution that would make this all end but I can't. You know how severe things are and how bad/intolerable things really are, so only you can make the appropriate decision. We only know what you tell us and your side to this. I hope you can figure something out that keeps you safe...
  20. tuchmewhereipee

    tuchmewhereipee Ground control to Major Tom.

    :yeahthat: . . . is a Mommy's POV

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