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My Mom: Newbie

Icarus

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#1
Arrgh!

My mom is a newbie. A noob, a n00b, a newb, a nub, whatever you want to call it. The fact is, she's been annoying the hell out of me!

She sends me about 5-10 chain and spam e-mails each day, all with her "Oh-so-humorous" comments. Her messages are littered with u, r, 4, and other manglings of the English language. She signs everything "yo momma", and has an extremely annoying habit of using either all caps or all lowercase. She'll "yell" at me - use all caps in an e-mail of only lower case, to emphasize just how vitally important that word really is. I had spam-blocked her e-mail (it's THAT bad) for a few months, but it's "mysteriously" back on my safe list.

Plus, she does elipsis after elipsis after elipsis. ....... ...... .. ..... ..... .... ............................................. Arrgh! She can't even put the right amount of fucking dots! She refuses to punctuate properly. Multiple, excessive punctuation marks (!!!!!!!!!!!!), double-commas (,,), random semi-colons (i; like birds), question marks that seem to be placed precisely to make my want to punch my screen (i like???? birds), mangled contractions (cant' do'nt wont wouldnt) and she LOL's everywhere!

And then (to top it off)...

She has the fucking nerve to tell me at dinner last night, "I'm glad that I'm so funny." She proceeds to talk about how lucky I am that she has such a good sense of humor and she's so loving, etc, etc. The fact is, 15 years into being my parent, she ran out of jokes three years ago, and semi-amusing stories at least four years before that. Every morning she says "Be prepared to hurl yourself out of a moving vehicle" before she drops us off at school. Every single goddamn morning for the past 5+ years. And she still thinks it's fucking hilarious.

Jesus! I get sick of it sometimes.
 
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#2
Try getting a new email, that will at least solve the email problem as long as she doesn't know about it. As far as her having a bad sense of humor, every parent has some kind of problem. For the fun of it you could also give her an english book for X-mas for the grammar problem.
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#3
NoSubstance said:
plus, she does elipsis after elipsis after elipsis. ....... ...... .. ..... ..... .... ............................................. Arrgh! She can't even put the right amount of fucking dots! She refuses to punctuate properly. Multiple, excessive punctuation marks (!!!!!!!!!!!!), double-commas (,,), random semi-colons (i; like birds), question marks that seem to be placed precisely to make my want to punch my screen (i like???? birds), mangled contractions (cant' do'nt wont wouldnt) and she LOL's everywhere!
All pet peaves of mine. :( Grown adults should definately know better. It's really sad that they don't.
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#4
Mine did the same thing, until I said the phrase that changed her life forever.
"Is it time for smoke to choke-a-bitch?"
:thumbsup:
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#5
this was one of the funniest things ive read in a while. i; like birds... hilarious..

but the funniest is her signature "yo momma". I cracked up. your mom is trying so hard... hehehehe...
 

Janglenut

Particinator
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#6
,,|,,


^ Include that in the largest text supported for your email and all of your problems will be solved.
 

gurlgonewild

Was machen Sie?
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#7
u could just erase her emails w/o reading them..........LOL
i'd like; do that if my parents were tryin 2 b kewl 2 an' shiiit!!!!! .......LOL

choke a bitch ey smoke? 2ff
 

evilghoul

Eee-Ook Gow
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#9
I could send you a gmail invitation. Its free; 1 GB of storage!
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#10
I already do use gmail, but I'm forced to use my old e-mail as well.

It's stupid, but I live with it. I was just pissed off at the time because I had just read her daily chain e-mails.
 

NaughtyGirl21

Formally Cuddles
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#11
Oh come on, your momma only loves you, thats why she is doing that.
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#12
Man that must suck. I get calls twice a day from my parents asking me how to do a particular thing in the computer... I guess my situation is not as bad as yours. I just hope it doesn't evolve to this.