Alright im new here, and I know this is the place for the harshest and most truthful criticizism or flaming.. hehe.. so check out my first two poems, done in the last week. About a girl I like... are they good? I want your complete honest opinion, considering this is the place for it 
EDIT: Added a third poem
EDIT: Added a third poem
Never Have I
Never have I seen a girl
Who's beauty shines through the world
Who has the most beautiful, tender, gorgeous face
Who looks so good, she makes my heart race.
She has the prettiest, most sparkling, dazzling eyes
It'll make you think she's from some place high
An angel from above, you would think
I hope someday, our hearts will link.
Never have I seen a girl
Who's sweetness is known throughout my world
Who has the biggest, kindest, sweetest heart
Who is so great, I'd never want to be apart.
She's the nicest girl I've ever met
Makes me feel great, for sure, that's a bet
She picks me up when I'm falling down
Making sure I don't make a frown
As you know, you're the girl I'm talking about,
In the middle of a crowd, "I like this girl" I shout.
If you like me too, and feel the same,
Any day or any night, just call my name.
At that very moment I will appear,
Just because your voice I will hear.
And as always I'll be there for you,
All because I like you.
Beautiful Dream
She comes to me as I sleep,
Interrupting the jumping sheep.
Who is this lady, this lady I see...
Standing there... looking over me.
She speaks to me...
In the mid summer nights heat,
Her voice so, beautiful and sweet.
She reaches out and touches me,
With her hands.... so softly.
Her lips upon mine.
So real it does seem...
My heart begins to shine,
Then I realize, it’s a dream.
The scent of roses is in the air.
But when I awake, no one is there.
Alone again, I stare into the dark.
A hopeless, helpless broken heart
How I wish I could be free,
With you standing here next to me.
I picture us running in the rain,
Living life through every single pain.
Sitting here, I picture you,
Oh how I wish, this image would be true.
In my mind you will be forever,
Waiting for that day we will hold hands together.
In every way, my love I show,
Wishing for just one second, I could be your Romeo.
Fill your life, with your every wish and dream,
However I can’t be with you, so it seems.
It hurts me to say this, but it is so true,
I can’t go through life without you.
Please don’t break my heart,
Cuz then I might cry,
Wishing I could be with you,
Living my life a lie.
I don’t need to do that,
I need you here with me,
Please, please listen,
This is my last plea.
Don’t leave me alone here,
To drown out this treacherous sorrow,
Be with me for life,
Be with me tomorrow.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, is all I want,
If not, please do not taunt.
Be with me now, or forever I’ll be all alone,
Help out my kingdom, or take away my throne.
I Wanna Know
Girl, you’ve been messin with my mind for too many days,
Girl, I think what your doing is so wrong.
You need to straighten up and stop your ways,
Ya know I’ve never been lead on for so long.
I wish you would just come forward and let me know,
Just to let me know if I should stay or go.
I’m gettin tired of waitin on you,
Just say it, do you love me too?
That’s it, I’ve had enough,
I can’t deal with all this stuff.
It’s over, I’m gone, time for good-bye,
I can’t believe I even wanted to try.
Girl, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,
You’re everything I’ve ever needed,
But all I get is being taunted,
Even after every time I pleaded.
It’s a shame you can’t come out and tell me,
Whether or not we were meant to be.
All I want to know is will you be my girl,
All I want to know is will you complete my world?
Girl, I need to know,
Girl, you need to show,
I want to be with you, but you don’t say shit though,
Girl, I really wanna know.
Be with me,
Be my girl,
Set me free,
Fill my world.
This is the end,
I really wanna know,
I’m coming around the last bend,
Do you love me so?
Never have I seen a girl
Who's beauty shines through the world
Who has the most beautiful, tender, gorgeous face
Who looks so good, she makes my heart race.
She has the prettiest, most sparkling, dazzling eyes
It'll make you think she's from some place high
An angel from above, you would think
I hope someday, our hearts will link.
Never have I seen a girl
Who's sweetness is known throughout my world
Who has the biggest, kindest, sweetest heart
Who is so great, I'd never want to be apart.
She's the nicest girl I've ever met
Makes me feel great, for sure, that's a bet
She picks me up when I'm falling down
Making sure I don't make a frown
As you know, you're the girl I'm talking about,
In the middle of a crowd, "I like this girl" I shout.
If you like me too, and feel the same,
Any day or any night, just call my name.
At that very moment I will appear,
Just because your voice I will hear.
And as always I'll be there for you,
All because I like you.
Beautiful Dream
She comes to me as I sleep,
Interrupting the jumping sheep.
Who is this lady, this lady I see...
Standing there... looking over me.
She speaks to me...
In the mid summer nights heat,
Her voice so, beautiful and sweet.
She reaches out and touches me,
With her hands.... so softly.
Her lips upon mine.
So real it does seem...
My heart begins to shine,
Then I realize, it’s a dream.
The scent of roses is in the air.
But when I awake, no one is there.
Alone again, I stare into the dark.
A hopeless, helpless broken heart
How I wish I could be free,
With you standing here next to me.
I picture us running in the rain,
Living life through every single pain.
Sitting here, I picture you,
Oh how I wish, this image would be true.
In my mind you will be forever,
Waiting for that day we will hold hands together.
In every way, my love I show,
Wishing for just one second, I could be your Romeo.
Fill your life, with your every wish and dream,
However I can’t be with you, so it seems.
It hurts me to say this, but it is so true,
I can’t go through life without you.
Please don’t break my heart,
Cuz then I might cry,
Wishing I could be with you,
Living my life a lie.
I don’t need to do that,
I need you here with me,
Please, please listen,
This is my last plea.
Don’t leave me alone here,
To drown out this treacherous sorrow,
Be with me for life,
Be with me tomorrow.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, is all I want,
If not, please do not taunt.
Be with me now, or forever I’ll be all alone,
Help out my kingdom, or take away my throne.
I Wanna Know
Girl, you’ve been messin with my mind for too many days,
Girl, I think what your doing is so wrong.
You need to straighten up and stop your ways,
Ya know I’ve never been lead on for so long.
I wish you would just come forward and let me know,
Just to let me know if I should stay or go.
I’m gettin tired of waitin on you,
Just say it, do you love me too?
That’s it, I’ve had enough,
I can’t deal with all this stuff.
It’s over, I’m gone, time for good-bye,
I can’t believe I even wanted to try.
Girl, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted,
You’re everything I’ve ever needed,
But all I get is being taunted,
Even after every time I pleaded.
It’s a shame you can’t come out and tell me,
Whether or not we were meant to be.
All I want to know is will you be my girl,
All I want to know is will you complete my world?
Girl, I need to know,
Girl, you need to show,
I want to be with you, but you don’t say shit though,
Girl, I really wanna know.
Be with me,
Be my girl,
Set me free,
Fill my world.
This is the end,
I really wanna know,
I’m coming around the last bend,
Do you love me so?
