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Nasty! Just plain nasty!

Pidgeon182

Bird of the Week
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#1
I remember when I first went down on my ex-girlfriend made me scared of vaginas since. It was my first time to ever go down on a girl, yet I wasn't scared because I had watched alot of porno in my time. But, when I went down to the tuna tunnel....it smelled so much like rotten tuna soaked in piss that I just turned around and puked right there on my bedroom floor. I don't think I will ever forget that smell, Thank god my second time wasn't that bad. I think I broke up with her a few days later because her vagina smelled so bad, I even told her that and laughed as I walked away. Good thing she wasn't a very good lay.

What was your worst experience with going down on your partner?
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
6,696
2,616
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#2
Pidgeon182 said:
I remember when I first went down on my ex-girlfriend made me scared of vaginas since. It was my first time to ever go down on a girl, yet I wasn't scared because I had watched alot of porno in my time. But, when I went down to the tuna tunnel....it smelled so much like rotten tuna soaked in piss that I just turned around and puked right there on my bedroom floor. I don't think I will ever forget that smell, Thank god my second time wasn't that bad. I think I broke up with her a few days later because her vagina smelled so bad, I even told her that and laughed as I walked away. Good thing she wasn't a very good lay.

What was your worst experience with going down on your partner?

with my ex, once I tried to be all sexy and go down on him and he says "you know, I just took a leak" and im "WTF well I really don't need to know that.." and he really spoiled the moment..and lucky me he's me ex (wasnt a good lay either foreskin to tight -> very very small and never never really hard.) I learnt to act atleast *aaah AAah ooh just like that Aaah* hahahahahaa :)
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
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#3
Stardust said:
with my ex, once I tried to be all sexy and go down on him and he says "you know, I just took a leak" and im "WTF well I really don't need to know that.." and he really spoiled the moment..and lucky me he's me ex (wasnt a good lay either foreskin to tight -> very very small and never never really hard.) I learnt to act atleast *aaah AAah ooh just like that Aaah* hahahahahaa :)
ohhhh ahhh yes YESSSS ohhhh YESSSS BILLY!!!!!(wait what?)
hmm my worst one....well it wasnt a worst one cuz i wont go down on a dirty chick..gotta do the sniff test* first...but one time i went down on this chick and i decided to blow air in there...then i pressed on her stomach and her the loudest funnies queef i've ever heard....btw she had "long" lips too so they flapped in the "wind"

*sniff test-finger a girl and when you're done pretend to scratch your eye while sniffing your finger..if it smells nasty don't do nothing ;)
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
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#4
DIZNUTS said:
ohhhh ahhh yes YESSSS ohhhh YESSSS BILLY!!!!!(wait what?)
hmm my worst one....well it wasnt a worst one cuz i wont go down on a dirty chick..gotta do the sniff test* first...but one time i went down on this chick and i decided to blow air in there...then i pressed on her stomach and her the loudest funnies queef i've ever heard....btw she had "long" lips too so they flapped in the "wind"

*sniff test-finger a girl and when you're done pretend to scratch your eye while sniffing your finger..if it smells nasty don't do nothing ;)
Make sure you don't scratch your eye.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
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#5
bnccoder said:
Make sure you don't scratch your eye.
yes diffinatly make sure you don't scratch your eye!
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
2,583
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#6
DIZNUTS said:
yes diffinatly make sure you don't scratch your eye!
rofl, thats disgusting, but its pretty funny.
:thumbsup:
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#7
Smoke said:
rofl, thats disgusting, but its pretty funny.
:thumbsup:
its only funny when you don't have the skills to pull that off....
 

Smoke

Banned - What an Asshat!
2,583
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#8
DIZNUTS said:
its only funny when you don't have the skills to pull that off....
True that.
:thumbsup:
 

bombchu

b-o-n-e-r
395
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#10
This is brilliant!
Ah, this is what enlightenment feels like. ;)
 

CatchTheWind

Hopefully not an idiot
221
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#11
My worst experience?

"Yeah, I know I just got done taking a dump, but I got some lube...and it feels REALLY good when a girl sticks her finger up my butt. Prostate gland and all that. You wanna?...Aw come on, I wiped!"
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,950
3,376
487
#12
Pidgeon182 said:
I remember when I first went down on my ex-girlfriend made me scared of vaginas since. It was my first time to ever go down on a girl, yet I wasn't scared because I had watched alot of porno in my time. But, when I went down to the tuna tunnel....it smelled so much like rotten tuna soaked in piss that I just turned around and puked right there on my bedroom floor. I don't think I will ever forget that smell, Thank god my second time wasn't that bad. I think I broke up with her a few days later because her vagina smelled so bad, I even told her that and laughed as I walked away. Good thing she wasn't a very good lay.

What was your worst experience with going down on your partner?
Don't let it get you down. The way to a woman's heart is really good oral dexterity. If you can pleasure them well in that capacity, they'll more than likely reciprocate 10 fold. Perhaps some of the ladies here can either confirm or deny my theory.(Input please)
Anyway, to address your issue. Not all women are like that. In her defense, she may not always be like that. True, every woman has some form of scent, but it's not normally as rancid as you describe.
Your Ex probably needed to wash a bit better, or perhaps she was all cooped up in there all day, and not so fresh. Whatever the case, don't let it keep you from trying.
One thing you can try as an early warning system, is the digital manipulation, "Sneak a sniff". This is performed by using your hand to pleasure a woman during foreplay. Then you can casually smell your hand. A good way to be discreet is to digitally please her, then go and hold one of her breasts while licking or sucking on her nipple. While doing this you can sneak a sniff. If the scent is not to your likening, then there's no need to embarrass her by starting to go down, and making an early retreat.

Don’t give up my friend! The women of the world are counting on you!


~Max
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#13
MaxPower said:
Don't let it get you down. The way to a woman's heart is really good oral dexterity. If you can pleasure them well in that capacity, they'll more than likely reciprocate 10 fold. Perhaps some of the ladies here can either confirm or deny my theory.(Input please)
Anyway, to address your issue. Not all women are like that. In her defense, she may not always be like that. True, every woman has some form of scent, but it's not normally as rancid as you describe.
Your Ex probably needed to wash a bit better, or perhaps she was all cooped up in there all day, and not so fresh. Whatever the case, don't let it keep you from trying.
One thing you can try as an early warning system, is the digital manipulation, "Sneak a sniff". This is performed by using your hand to pleasure a woman during foreplay. Then you can casually smell your hand. A good way to be discreet is to digitally please her, then go and hold one of her breasts while licking or sucking on her nipple. While doing this you can sneak a sniff. If the scent is not to your likening, then there's no need to embarrass her by starting to go down, and making an early retreat.

Don’t give up my friend! The women of the world are counting on you!


~Max
Listen to him, he eats more cunts than cervical cancer.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
1
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#14
CatchTheWind said:
My worst experience?

"Yeah, I know I just got done taking a dump, but I got some lube...and it feels REALLY good when a girl sticks her finger up my butt. Prostate gland and all that. You wanna?...Aw come on, I wiped!"
Prostate gland..PROSTATE GLAND???? since when did girls have PROSTATE GLANDS!????

bnccoder said:
Listen to him, he eats more cunts than cervical cancer.
:rotflmao: that is sick....i wish i could rep u again
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
5,034
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#15
Diznuts, READ before you post, she was telling the guy's side of the story. :rolleyes:
 

CatchTheWind

Hopefully not an idiot
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#16
Ssshhhh. Let him think I have a prostate gland. It's funnier this way.
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
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#17
CatchTheWind said:
Ssshhhh. Let him think I have a prostate gland. It's funnier this way.
He'll try to give you an exam.....
 

viper3905gt

_.·´¯)_VipeR_(¯`·._
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#18
girl

i waz with this girl one time and every time we did it dogy stile she queffed every time i went in....WTF is with that :confused:
 

swizeguy

How dare you!?
912
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#19
MaxPower said:
Anyway, to address your issue. Not all women are like that. In her defense, she may not always be like that. True, every woman has some form of scent, but it's not normally as rancid as you describe.


~Max
Yeah i got to agree with ya my girl doesnt smell that bad down there but occasionally its a bit worse then other times. But still not good enough smelling for me to want to try a taste....
 

CatchTheWind

Hopefully not an idiot
221
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#20
According to certain studies, eating lots of fruit will help your juices to taste better.

GodDAMN I would have loved to have been part of those studies...