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need help with this essay..


This is an 1-2 page essay on the topic “mind that does not stick”- Zen master Shoitsu.please give some feedback ad a grade :)

“mind that does not stick”- Zen master Shoitsu
The saying “mind that does not stick” refers to the mind that is not attached to
the world, is not stuck in worldly feelings such as anger, jealousy, greed, and is not conditioned by religious and scientific dogmas, prejudices and biases. A mind that is free of such conditioning is called an empty mind. According to the Zen philosophy, only the mind that is “unstuck” from the world can find peace and happiness in life. In Zen, the principle that governs the universe is called Tao. A mind that is stuck and conditioned by the world cannot be aware of this Tao, which is the primal source of energy.Only an unstuck mind can abide in Tao, find true happiness, and show compassion for the world. The worldly love is selfish love based on expectations. True compassion and love is unconditional.

The religious conditioning of the mind has led to many wars in the past . The goal of all religions is the same : realization of God. Never has a great leaders of any religion said that other religions should be attacked or prosecuted. The truth is the same, different sages call it by different names. The wars are fought because the followers misunderstand the message of their leaders , become intolerant towards other faiths, and get caught in their own rituals.

Problems arise not only due to religious dogmas, but also due to scientific ones. There has always been competition between different communities in science, which mostly leads to jealousy and hatred. The development of nuclear weapons was a result of a competition between two countries, and it determined the outcome of the World War II. The use of science to develop weapons of mass destruction and its use on civilians is an example of science without compassion.
Not only do conflicts arise within religions and science, but also between religion and sciennce. Many religious countries look at scientific development with skepticism, while technologically advanced countries look at religiousness with skepticism . Scientific geniuses like Galileo were killed because they did not agree with the views of a religious organization and gave a scientific proof to support their views. Einstein once said, “Religion without science is blind and science without religion is lame”.

An unstuck mind is essential in today's world . Never do we see animals kill their own species in huge numbers for material gain, and humans should be no different. We are given a brain to discriminate between good and bad, but have failed the task so far. When people identify themselves with a particular group, race, religion or sex, conflicts arise. This is what Einstein called “ an optical illusion”. Einstein is a great example of a man who had a unstuck mind. His work and philantrophic feelings are a proof of this.

According to sages in the world like Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tsu, Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Ramana Maharshi, the key to an unstuck mind is to always remeber the supreme and be aware of the divinity within all beings. The root of human misery is the ego and only by removing this huge obstacle can the mind become unstuck. Finally the goal of all religions and science is the same: an open mind. When we lose sight of this goal, we suffer. Not loosing the sight is wisdom.

In the profound words of Lao Tsu in Tao Te Ching:

Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind become still.
The way of nature is unchanging. Knowing constancy is insight.
Not knowing constancy leads to disaster. Knowing constancy, the mind is open.
With an open mind, you will be openhearted. Being openhearted, you will act royally.
Being royal, you will attain the divine. Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal. And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.
I got a bit confused while I was reading this. What is your thesis? If it is the unstuck mind, then you have a huge jump in the logical progression of this paper when you reach the body, which is supposed to support the thesis. If it is religious conflict and how the unstuck mind is the answer to it, then you need to introduce conflict as the thesis, and then explain how the unstuck mind can lift you beyond the state of religious conflict. However, that thesis is self defeating since your pushing a religion to be above another, which means of course, some will disagree which leads to religious conflict. I give it a D, your heart was in the right place, but logically your about as dizzying as a zen philosopher. And by the way, not that I'm one to talk, but your spelling errors and some of your sentence stuctures are a bit distracting. I don't feel like pulling examples out however, because frankly, I'm on Christmas vacation and don't give a crap.