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New Bathrooms

#1
This post has nothing to do with where the homos relieve themselves. This is about the automation of of our facilities.

The bathrooms at my office have been renovated. All instances of handles, buttons, and levers have been removed. There is an "Eye" on the toilet now, which notates when your ass lifts off the seat and flushes accordingly. The hand-dryers have a motion sensor which turns on when your hands enter its area of operation. The drinking fountain turns on when you stand in front of it.

HOW FUCKING LAZY WILL WE BECOME?! What asshole decided that pushing the lever on the toilet was too much of a strain. What's that you say? Good point. Yes, we flush the toilet before we wash our hands, and god knows how many deadly bacteria await the next hand on that flusher. The problem, however, is that sometimes these electronic eyes don't work. The bigger the shit, the more likely the device fails to flush.

I went into the bathroom the other day, and some kind soul had left an incredible, watery, steaming pile of shit in the toilet. He must've assumed that the toilet would flush itself, as people often do in public restrooms even when its a manual flush. Wrong. Now it's my job to manipulate the electronic eye so that I don't have to have this mans vile excrements splash onto my ass.

But of course, you can't just press the lever down. That would be too easy. Now it's a convenient automated system. So I have to either bend down within inches of the mans incredible waste and put my hand over the eye, slowly moving it back until it flushes violently, and I'm presented with a front row seat to the acrobatics of the giant corny log brigade, or I can choose to sit on the toilet for up to five minutes, then stand, allow the flushing to commence, and ONLY THEN, get down to my own personal business.

Then there's the hand dryer. NOT ONE DAMN PAPER TOWEL in the entire restroom. I could spend 10 seconds drying my hand with a paper towl, but of course, that's not CONVENIENT enough for todays jet set. Now I have to stand there with my hands under the blower for EVER waiting for my hands to dry.

The water fountain always seems to work, but it also works when you don't need it to. Every time you walk by it, it clicks on. What a waste of PRECIOUS LIFE GIVING WATER.

And while I'm on the subject, can I PLEASE open a door for myself anywhere anymore? How god damned hard is it to open a door? Must we automate EVERYTHING? Next thing you know, McDonalds is going to deliver, and our species will evolve into motionless jabba the huts. Movies to your door, Food to your door, shop online, LIVE INSIDE YOUR VIDEO GAMES, your GOD DAMNED WORLD OF WARCRAFT, EVERQUEST. How about you get off your enormous ass and go on a fucking quest to find your missing ankles and knees. Winner gets a free sense of accomplishment.
 
#2
And another thing!

Fucking...Automated cashiers? PLEASE PLACE YOUR ITEM ON THE BELT. FUCK YOU!
 

PatticusRex

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#3
So grocery stores want to save money by not paying employees and have machines do it for them. Whoopie.
 
#4
PatticusRex said:
So grocery stores want to save money by not paying employees and have machines do it for them. Whoopie.
I'm all for it. Makes robbery alot easier. I actually saw one of thse at Longo's. It felt like a novelty using it, but the idea of it being everywhere is scary. It'll eventually become an building full of customers and no workers being run by underground company owners and machine debuggers. Worse yet, they may have AUTOMATED GROCERY DELIVERY.


Now I'm just losing it.
 
#5
No it's totally true. And since, for the first time, you replied to one of my threads in a mature and non-cocksmoking way, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and reply similarly.

If you're from the planet earth, you may have heard of a supermarket chain called "Stop & Shop". They have automated cashiers, of course. But they also just recently implemented a "Stop & Shop @ home" where you order your groceries online, and some shrib comes to your door the next day with your purchase. Sad, huh?
 
#6
Ultranothing said:
No it's totally true. And since, for the first time, you replied to one of my threads in a mature and non-cocksmoking way, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and reply similarly.

If you're from the planet earth, you may have heard of a supermarket chain called "Stop & Shop". They have automated cashiers, of course. But they also just recently implemented a "Stop & Shop @ home" where you order your groceries online, and some shrib comes to your door the next day with your purchase. Sad, huh?
Agreed. However I'm much happier with my apparent 'cocksmoking' posts. I'm have more beleifs in gay rights then automated cashiers.

Edit: You're homosexual thread got owned. Like that wasn't coming.
 

gehtfuct

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#7
Great story. Automation is the future;geht with it or geht left behind.
You might as well still be watching TV on black and white,and rockin' to the 8-tracks.

You future is only days away from being history. The cool thing is;it wont be long and you'll be gehtting older,lazier and fatter. All while sitting in the backseat of your 2000 s.u.x. sucking skin as the "car" drives itself.

Oh,btw...before you two continue spanking eachother,remember that this is the ISSUE'S forum. All spanking should be taken to the bait and tackle forum.

Thank you.
 

Jung

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#8
First off, you need to read the forum descriptions and post in the correct forum, this doesn't belong in Issues. Secondly, if you continue flaming anywhere but Bait & Tackle, you'll soon be farming cocks.



Ultranothing said:
The bathrooms at my office have been renovated. All instances of handles, buttons, and levers have been removed. There is an "Eye" on the toilet now, which notates when your ass lifts off the seat and flushes accordingly. The hand-dryers have a motion sensor which turns on when your hands enter its area of operation. The drinking fountain turns on when you stand in front of it.
So what's your problem? Do you really have that much free time to cry about automatically flushing toilets, and urinals? I know I'd rather just move out the way, than touch a handle in a public toilet. You're acting like operating the automatic toilets is rocket science.

I will agree that the air dryers are slower, but they're hardly anything new.
HOW FUCKING LAZY WILL WE BECOME?!
Are you actually trying to make a point with that statement? Oh my!
What asshole decided that pushing the lever on the toilet was too much of a strain. What's that you say? Good point. Yes, we flush the toilet before we wash our hands, and god knows how many deadly bacteria await the next hand on that flusher. The problem, however, is that sometimes these electronic eyes don't work. The bigger the shit, the more likely the device fails to flush.
I've honestly never seen one of those electronic toilets fail, not to say that they can't or won't, I've just never seen the scenario you're describing.

When a company makes the move to a more modern technology like that, they also contract someone with a maintenance plan. The restrooms in my building have been like that since I started working here, and in the two years I've been here I've never noticed a single "unflushed shit" in a toilet.

I like being able to use the restroom, then wash my hands and leave. I don't have to touch the flushing lever, or kick it with my foot.
I went into the bathroom the other day, and some kind soul had left an incredible, watery, steaming pile of shit in the toilet. He must've assumed that the toilet would flush itself, as people often do in public restrooms even when its a manual flush. Wrong. Now it's my job to manipulate the electronic eye so that I don't have to have this mans vile excrements splash onto my ass.
Was it THE only toilet in the restroom? Surely nobody has tasked you to be toilet flusher supreme.
INSIDE YOUR VIDEO GAMES, your GOD DAMNED WORLD OF WARCRAFT, EVERQUEST. How about you get off your enormous ass and go on a fucking quest to find your missing ankles and knees. Winner gets a free sense of accomplishment.
Oh wow, I see what you did there - you're equating automation to online roll playing games. How drool, how very droll.


Technology advances, and people adopt it; you can either keep up, or be left behind like beta max and eight tracks.
 

MaxPower

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#9
Ultranothing said:
This post has nothing to do with where the homos relieve themselves. This is about the automation of of our facilities.
Well why limit this to bathrooms. As a matter of fact, Why don’t you return your 35cc 2 stroke gas powered double headed anal intruder 2000, and go back to the old corn cob, like our forefathers used. :thumbsup:

Fuck Automatic-autoerotica!
 

gehtfuct

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#10
Hey Maximop,I see you've made it to 60k. Good job....you peenass.

The first one to 100k wins.....nothing.


THREAD JACK!
 

NaughtyGirl21

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#11
Ultranothing said:
Fucking...Automated cashiers? PLEASE PLACE YOUR ITEM ON THE BELT. FUCK YOU!
Tell me about it. All the new Wal-Mart’s around here have them. The funny thing is that my boyfriend’s friend had bought a Playstaion 2 for like 2 bucks...lol. What he did was replace the sticker on it and swiped that one and then the thing you run it through that makes a funny noise so that the piece doesn't sound off that annoying "Ding, please step back so an associate can help you" alarm. He got away with that. I thought that was funny.
 

Jung

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#12
^^ I actually like those automated cashiers; they're great for when you're in a hurry. I guess they suck for people without bank/credit cards, but who doesn't have those today?
 

NaughtyGirl21

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#13
junglizm said:
^^ I actually like those automated cashiers; they're great for when you're in a hurry. I guess they suck for people without bank/credit cards, but who doesn't have those today?
The one that I am talking about also take cash. You just stick it in a little slot like a vending machine.
 

Jung

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#14
I've never seen those then, I don't show at Wal-Mart though. The ones at the grocery store we usually go to only take credit cards.
 

MaxPower

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#15
junglizm said:
I've never seen those then, I don't show at Wal-Mart though. The ones at the grocery store we usually go to only take credit cards.
They have them @ home depot. And the auto-flushers are all over NY. As a matter of fact the NYS thruway rest stops have them, and My old job had them back in 1995.
 

NaughtyGirl21

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#16
But you know what? Some times those automatic toilets don't even work. I used one before and when I got up, it did not even flush. I was not about to push that little button for if it does not work. That shit is probably all infested with germs. Ewww.
 

MaxPower

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#17
Cuddles said:
But you know what? Some times those automatic toilets don't even work. I used one before and when I got up, it did not even flush. I was not about to push that little button for if it does not work. That shit is probably all infested with germs. Ewww.
You probably fogged up the electric eye.
 

NaughtyGirl21

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#19
Lmao...No, I did not take a shit or sit there long enough for it to fog up. I don't take shits in public bathrooms, that would be just underlie disgusting.