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Oh God damn it, a bodyguard now too?!

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#1
Ava:chris is going to kill me
jimmystager: why?
Ava:because i have assumed the role of sugar mamma to his ex gf
jimmystager: he finally broke up with ag?
jimmystager: Ava
Ava:yup
jimmystager: If you need protection I'll do it for ya
jimmystager: I've become much more adept at fighting
Ava:and now she's ma sugar babe
jimmystager: heehee
jimmystager: awww
jimmystager: So he's still protective?
Ava:you will not be able to protect me
Ava:i just... i mean i don't want to hurt him... or be killed, but face it, i've made it blatantly clear that i wanted either or both of them
Ava:i got my chance, i jumped at it
jimmystager: As in...you only wanted Ag?
Ava:no, i wanted him too, but he didn't present me with an opertunity
Ava:she said she needed a sugar momma
jimmystager: yeah, but Chris and her have been getting along lkike shit for ages
Ava:i kno
jimmystager: Christ, why the fuck is he still so protective?
jimmystager: If that fucker lays a hand on you I'll smack him down like a deck of generic cards
Ava:i didn't break them up, they both know that, that was an inevitability, but ya know... he might want my head on a stick
jimmystager: He keeps thinking he'll never get anyone else, but it's bullshit
Ava:don't get mad at him yet, he hasn't even threatened me
Ava:he doesn't even know
Ava:but if he finds out i'm afraid of what he might do
jimmystager: So you're saying if he finds out you're essentially Ag's lover now he'll fucking beat the crap outta ya?
Ava:i don't know what he'll do
Ava:but i'm worried it's a possiblity
Ava:and i wouldn't say lover
jimmystager: Eh...So it's official they're broken up?
Ava:she has a bf
Ava:i'm just her suggar momma
jimmystager: :)
jimmystager: Christ, I gotta talk some sense into that kid...
Ava:it's different... although i'm not completely sure how
Ava:dude
jimmystager: He's so nice, but when stuff like this happens he changes...
Ava:i didn't say he would kill me
Ava:he might now care
jimmystager: Ava, not like ya think...
Ava:not*
jimmystager: I'd wait for the topic to arise and see where it goes.
Ava:i just think it's a possiblity
jimmystager: Well, you also gotta understand that if he finally broke up
Ava:thats what i plan to do
jimmystager: He realized there are more fish in the sea that like him
Ava:i just don't want ppl to acuse him of beating me up
Ava:he's done nothing worng so far
jimmystager: He's so down on himself, truth be told he's the sweetest guy I know
jimmystager: Now that I know thye full story I highly doubt he'll beat you up...
Ava:he has control and communication issues
jimmystager: True
jimmystager: But it's different with women, if I recall correctly...
Ava:hu?
jimmystager: Ava, many men like him just don't hit women unless it's sexually done, i.e. BDSM, which he is into...
jimmystager: Like me. I don't hit people regardless, especially women.
Ava:i'm just afraid of his wrath
jimmystager: When Chris is pissed he's pissed
Ava:if possible i'd like to keep him as a friend, but i doubt it, i realy went to her in the divorce
jimmystager: I don't get it...Why would he still care at this point?
jimmystager: Christ...
jimmystager: If he fucking touches a hand on you, he ain't fucking getting shit from me.
Ava:i've herd of this code of honer where friends don't date their firnds ex's on afterschool specials
jimmystager: Oh, it's bullshit.
jimmystager: You're not supposed to want to marry your best friend's sister even though she has a boyfriend, but I want to ;-).
jimmystager: By the way just keep that a secret
jimmystager: Ugh...God dayum.
jimmystager: Body guard now too?!
jimmystager: Christ.
Ava:well, i'm hopeing all the secret stuff i've done with him will balnce it out
jimmystager: heehee
Ava:and the threesome she inishiated
jimmystager: we can only hope
jimmystager: Heheheheh...
jimmystager: /me gets a devilish look
jimmystager: If he starts any shit, just call me.
jimmystager: Issue is, I have no car.
Ava:your useless for protection from him
jimmystager: Possibly
jimmystager: I'd use various items
jimmystager: i.e.
jimmystager: lamps
jimmystager: etc.
jimmystager: your dad's old computers
Ava:i could hit him with a fucking lamp
jimmystager: over his fuckin' head
jimmystager: yeah
jimmystager: but i calculate it
jimmystager: I've gotten heavuily into playing sports and I am muchy more co-ordinated now
Ava:more like i could... ya know not let him into my house

 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#2
jimmystager: Eh, who wants their door locked 24/7?
Ava:my door alredy is
Ava:paranoied parents
jimmystager: heeheee
jimmystager: teh Jews...;-)
Ava:i think either he'll just give me the cold shoulder and stop considering me a friend, or keep doing like he is now, i doubt he'd actually beat me up
Ava:kraut
jimmystager: :-O
jimmystager: Call me a Sand ****** if ya really wanna
Ava:i don't know what that means
jimmystager: Chris' is more kraut than me, naturally he's always pissed off
jimmystager: Arabian
Ava:yeah but he's sexy
jimmystager: He can be unpredictable
Ava:that makes him sexyeir
jimmystager: not for me
jimmystager: My whole fear of women, which still exists a bit, is due to that
Ava:w/e
Ava:also he knows how to tease
jimmystager: Ugh, he's going to hell for this...
Ava:for what?
Ava:he hasn't done anything!?!
jimmystager: I know, I don't want to have to think of you beaten to a pulp by a kraut
Ava:don't condem him for stuff he hasn't done
jimmystager: Just the THOUGHT of it happening is scary
Ava:he's still my friend... albeit my estranged "deadbeat dad" friend who won't pay "child support" after i went to his gf in the divorce settlement
Ava:but i still care about him
jimmystager: /me shakes his head
jimmystager: You got me all worried...
jimmystager: God damn it, I'm pissed now, if he lays a hand on you I'll fucking flip my shit at this guy
Ava:jimmy he might not do anything at all
jimmystager: If there's ONE thing Chris doesn't have on me it's agility when I have adrenaline and an inhaler.
jimmystager: I know that, I'm saying if he does he'll be in a heap of shit.
jimmystager: I'm getting a vibe that he might do something...
jimmystager: I can't place it...
jimmystager: Kinda seems like him to protect the one thing he has, or had...
jimmystager: Remember, he's not confident he'll find another chick.
jimmystager: And he may protect his one last saving grace.


________________________


:mad:


Backstabbing asshole. Hasn't happened yet, I think it might.
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#5
Descent said:
jimmystager: If there's ONE thing Chris doesn't have on me it's agility when I have adrenaline and an inhaler.
Jeez, just how slow is this "Chris?"
 

Fire_ze_Missles

Martha Fuckin' Stewart
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#6
Not only is Jimmy "superman" Stager an ingenious programmer, and the most elite computer concocter on this side of an OC-3 connection; he is also very adept at fighting, and has the agility to match. Go jimmy, go! You've got super-skillz0rz.:thumbsup:
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#8
I Hate The FCC said:
:lol: If I ever wanted a body guard I'd get an overweight autistic guy hopped up on Ambien.
Don't forget his asthma and bad vision!
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#11
Fire_ze_Missles said:
And greasy hair! (check his picture; take a shower, sick!)
I'd upload a new one but I seem to have fucked my webcam drivers :happysad:.

Chris is a blackbelt, and a 270-lb. Kraut.
 

Fire_ze_Missles

Martha Fuckin' Stewart
1,622
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#12
Descent said:
I'd upload a new one but I seem to have fucked my webcam drivers :happysad:.

Chris is a blackbelt, and a 270-lb. Kraut.

:p I was only kidding, gangsta. I bet that was "shocking", fucking those drivers.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#14
Fire_ze_Missles said:
:p I was only kidding, gangsta. I bet that was "shocking", fucking those drivers.
I'm this close to bringing a shotgun on to Intel's Campus. Why the fuck should I have to pay $5.95 for a new driver CD?!

No, you know what?! It's no wonder I fucking boycotted you cocksuckers, you and fucking Sony haven't made a penny off me in years for a reason. You do more harm than good.

And FYI, I actually am pretty strong and when my adrenaline gets going I've been known to break shit without warning. I can land some powerful punches when hopped up on adrenaline.
 

gummi_

Tenderony
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#15
So can anyone else really, its sort of the whole purpose of adrenalin, to pump you up.

Trying to take on a 270lb. black belt by throwing lamps at him, and taking a puff of your puffer in between punches, seems to be an awesome strategy that will send you steadily on your way to get your ass whooped, imo.

Go for gold though, i suppose.
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#17
gummi_ said:
Trying to take on a 270lb. black belt by throwing lamps at him, and taking a puff of your puffer in between punches, seems to be an awesome strategy that will send you steadily on your way to get your ass whooped, imo.
Fighting a blackbelt is really no different than fighting any regular joe. Those belts are given regardless of talent.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
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#18
Ha ha, no one has said it yet, I'm sure it's implied, but here you are just for shits and giggles.

TL;DR

 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#19
It was pretty long.. and I didn't know half the people that were in the conversation..


I understand now..kinda
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#20
You know what guys? I'd rather get my ass kicked with honor and dignity than not try at all and fail.