WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Oh shit!

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#1
Oh Shit!
...
..................................................................


Ok, so here is the deal.
1. My g/f is preg.
2. We want a kid, but now is not the oppertune time for it.
3. We are keeping our kid.
4. Neither one of our familys know.
5. We are going to sneak off and get married (having a reception later).
6. After we're legally married we're planning on letting it slip about being married.
7. Then we tell them about her being pregnant after they get use to the idea that we're married..
8. I feel like I'm walking around holding up a big "Oh Shit!" sign on the end of a stick.
9. Happiness is accompnied by terror.
Advice please.
Oh Shit!
...
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
5,034
3
132
#2
Wow! Well first I wanna congratulate you, and it seems like a fine idea to me.
But.. That is if you want to lie, if you don't, you come clean with it all. But if you don't, then you have it all set don't you?
Why do you have to marry if she's pregnent, religion? or they want it that way?
Would they mind if you got married and didn't tell them?
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#3
We were talking about it before any of this happened. We don't have to get married we want to. They probably will mind quite a bit, but there is nothing they can do about it.
Oh Shit!
...
 

CatchTheWind

Hopefully not an idiot
221
0
0
#4
Well if you're getting married because you want to, and you really want to keep the kid, congrats and good luck with everything. Though you might want to break the news to your families before she starts to show...
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
2,186
0
0
#5
Dude, I suggest you come out clean right now. You seem to have your ideas set. Tell them, here it is. We are getting married, we are having a kid. We are a family now.

You are gronw. They can't do anything about it. Why are you so scared? You are going to be a father. That's gotta be great. Just make sure you don't make the same mistakes your father did. :thumbsup:
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#6
She has a large family and I'm worried about how they will take it.
 

bombchu

b-o-n-e-r
395
0
0
#7
bnccoder said:
She has a large family and I'm worried about how they will take it.
Then I'm sure they'll understand as well.

Timing is up to you, but I agree with CFF, you gotta spill soon...
It will cause less stress in the long run, and even if they disagree, they are your family.
If I were in that situation and I knew that I was eventually going to get married the girl, then I would also know that my family wouldn't be able to do much besides fucking cry about it.

Eventually, they will accept it.
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
7,550
262
302
#8
I'm with the above posters, just fucking tell them already. Sure it's scary, but it has to be done. If you're both adults, they'll just have to deal. It's better to just be honest than deal with all the bullshit once you've let them know later on. Bite the bullet man. This is something to be happy about, not some Darth Vader / Padme movie farce.
 

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
2,347
0
0
#9
bnccoder said:
Oh Shit!
...
..................................................................


Ok, so here is the deal.
1. My g/f is preg.
2. We want a kid, but now is not the oppertune time for it.
3. We are keeping our kid.
4. Neither one of our familys know.
5. We are going to sneak off and get married (having a reception later).
6. After we're legally married we're planning on letting it slip about being married.
7. Then we tell them about her being pregnant after they get use to the idea that we're married..
8. I feel like I'm walking around holding up a big "Oh Shit!" sign on the end of a stick.
9. Happiness is accompnied by terror.
Advice please.
Oh Shit!
...
My son was born when I was 18 and I was in the same boat. Sounds like your head is in the right place. It's a tough road when your not prepared and financially ready. When my lady got prego she gave me a choice, stay or go and if go-go now! I couldn't wrap my head around raising a child at such an immature age, but you know what TOO BAD!! I had to stick around cause I couldn't just walk away and let some other hombre raise MY boy!!!
Take it in stride one day at a time!! It's tough at first, the whole baby thing! But as they get older it gets fun!!!

Now everything you do is for your family or your child, not yourself...

Goodluck! and don't rush into everything too quick! When my son was born we weren't married and still aren't. I wasn't ready for the added stress but that's just me! :thumbsup:
 

LiberatioN

Trance Addict
1,432
0
100
#10
bnccoder said:
Oh Shit!
...
..................................................................


Ok, so here is the deal.
1. My g/f is preg.
2. We want a kid, but now is not the oppertune time for it.
3. We are keeping our kid.
4. Neither one of our familys know.
5. We are going to sneak off and get married (having a reception later).
6. After we're legally married we're planning on letting it slip about being married.
7. Then we tell them about her being pregnant after they get use to the idea that we're married..
8. I feel like I'm walking around holding up a big "Oh Shit!" sign on the end of a stick.
9. Happiness is accompnied by terror.
Advice please.
Oh Shit!
...

Awesome!!

First of all I'd like to tell you that I'm strongly Pro-Life, so I respect your decision. I'd definitely announce the marriage first before the pregnancy...most parents would be much more comforted if they at least thought the pregnancy was legitimate (after a marriage). I'm really happy to hear you guys are making such a strong decision. You're a cool guy, and I wish you the best of luck. This will be a huge step in your life, so make sure to make the best of it. Don't fret, dude...you'll find a way to work things out. Since you asked for advice, I'd start looking for the best income you can get to prepare a future for your child. Also, be very nice to your woman...you KNOW she's worried about being pregnant and what people are going to think. Just be very understanding of her unstable emotions if she gets that way.


edit:

Here's what I'd do:
Step 1) Propose ASAP...make the moment right and just do it
Step 2) Tell the parents...it'll be tough but you gotta do it sooner or later
Step 3) Tell them you want a very small reception and insist they not make a huge deal about your plans (if that's what you want)
Step 4) Spring the pregnancy on them when you have been married for a couple weeks; by this time about 3-5 weeks (from now) should have passed...they probably wouldn't know the difference if you got things done quickly

ahhh! i had no idea, dude. keep us updated! i'll be prayin for you. :thumbsup:

edit 2:

good advice, twist. one step at a time, man; you'll make it through...just take pride in knowing that you get to raise a boy/girl in your own image.
 

Insanitee

I know where you live!
219
0
0
#11
Can we name the kid Noob? Original, with a certain something to it~ !
 
4,149
1
0
#13
bnccoder said:
She has a large family and I'm worried about how they will take it.
It doesn't matter how they take it. It's your life and the life of this child that you and your girlfriend are going to have. They can't stop this child from coming into the world, so they'll have to just get over it. They should be greatful that you're sticking around to help take care of the child. I don't know how many stories I've heard about guys who just walk out once they find out their girl is pregnant. Good for you for sticking by her and doing the right thing. Your parents should be proud of that at least, and her parents/family should take that into consideration before they try to do anything.
 

otepsoul

Bringer of Bees
2,732
0
100
#14
bnccoder said:
Oh Shit!
...
..................................................................


Ok, so here is the deal.
1. My g/f is preg.
2. We want a kid, but now is not the oppertune time for it.
3. We are keeping our kid.
4. Neither one of our familys know.
5. We are going to sneak off and get married (having a reception later).
6. After we're legally married we're planning on letting it slip about being married.
7. Then we tell them about her being pregnant after they get use to the idea that we're married..
8. I feel like I'm walking around holding up a big "Oh Shit!" sign on the end of a stick.
9. Happiness is accompnied by terror.
Advice please.
Oh Shit!
...
hmmmmm. dude tell your familys about wedding, trust me you will hear bla blah blah from them.
 

Bitch

Evil Fluffy says: I PEE IN YOUR SHOES!
Premium
2,755
934
357
#15
well I can understand not wanting to tell either of your parents untill you have accomplished the appearance of the american dream (first wedding then pregnancy. However, you did already say you both were planning on getting married so if you told your parents that, they might understand that this was in the plan books anyhow...just happened sooner than expected. Parents worry mainly about whther or not their babies are old enough to start a family. you are old enough to make decisions like this on your own but hopefully either yours or hers can see that too. I agree about getting married as long as it's what you want and it's not something to be rushed. If you do try to talk to your parents first and hers, then maybe you could go for the big wedding. Although that's up to you. Something about having a big wedding or at one with friends and so forth makes things so defined to me. But that's me. A relative of mine wants to have as small a wedding as possible in a remote place so only maybe his and her parents will attend but no one else. If that makes them happy, I'm happy for him.

Anyhoo, I'm off topic. I think you will know what's right. My concern here is the parents reaction to being forced to accept this. It's what you are doing. by getting married forces them to accept it. but then again, you are doing what most people in the older generations feel is the right thing to do.


Bottom line, Congratulations to you both! I'm sure you will make great parents!
 
#16
one thing, if you start your marriage off as a lie(ie not telling your folks about the marriage or the baby ) then the marriage will be open to lies all the time ....

my opinoin
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#17
We are going to wait untill we can get a blood test to make sure that she is pregnant 100% no doubt, and then we are probably going to tell our families sometime soon after that. (chances are they are going to kill us) We are still planning on getting married, but chances are we will let everyone know and just tell them they have to accept it.Her family is Jewish so that is all new to me. She is too, but she doesn't show it much.
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
#18
so your going to get married "secretly" and then kinda just let it "slip out" and then tell them she's pregnant? Damn!, are you going to live together while your secretly married.....if your happy with your decisions dont sneek around, people either respect your decisions or they dont.......but they dont live your life.........they dont have to accept it, just deal with it
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#19
Ctoit said:
so your going to get married "secretly" and then kinda just let it "slip out" and then tell them she's pregnant? Damn!, are you going to live together while your secretly married.....if your happy with your decisions dont sneek around, people either respect your decisions or they dont.......but they dont live your life.........they dont have to accept it, just deal with it
You didn't read the last post, did you?
 

Ctoit

Tenderony
428
1
0
#20
oh I did........I just think you'll stick to your original idea when it comes down to it