Ok, weakest one first!

[BklynCannonball]

A sky once azure turned crimson in the night
The walls bled, the earth cried out your name
But you held on , your strength boundless
Your heart open yet guarded

Your eyes as bright as the sun, you walked on
You without me

So blue sky shine on, I'll be awake at dawn
To bask in your light, your warmth, your beauty, my sun

 

[dustinzgirl]

I think its great.

"The walls....name" is a very cool line.



A sky once azure turned crimson in the night
The walls bled, the earth cried out your name
But you held on , your strength boundless (Mabye switch to boundless strength and lose the your)
Your heart open yet guarded (this is probably your weakest line, it sounds cliche.)

Your eyes as bright as the sun, you walked on
You without me

So blue sky shine on, I'll be awake at dawn
To bask in your light, your warmth, your beauty, my sun

 

[BklynCannonball]

You're right. That is my weakest line.....hmmm......lemme think, I'll be back.

Thank you BTW.