WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Only 4 days left...

Angry Nanite

Until the MIL leaves.

So far no major disasters. ... yet.
Last night I had to prod DH to get after the MIL because she was falling asleep with a lit cig in her hand.
She's been in a drugged out stupor since she got here.
40+ meds twice a day will do that. Especially when half of them are various pain meds like morphine, oxycotin etc.

He'd wake her up and she'd bitch at him to leave her alone, then she'd go right back to sleep with two inches of ashes hanging off the still lit cig.

So now I've got three cig burns in my sofa and the fear that I'm going to wake up to an inferno any day now.

Yesterday we got the 'gift'. It's a huge (14x20?) picture of her with a bulky hideous frame to go with. Yay. She watched DH get it out of the package and then started telling him where to hang it.

Lady, I wouldn't hang that in my cellar to scare rats away.
First of all, I haven't got a single picture bigger than an 8x10 of anyone living or dead and that includes my beloved grandfather. There is no way in the seven hells that monstrosity is going on my wall. Ye gods. Talk about an appetite killer. :p

So it's on the kitchen table until she goes, then it's going to the bottom of the junk closet.

She's stick figure thin and looks like one of those dried apple-faced dolls you buy at rural craft fairs. She likes to tell people how good she used to look. I guess that's why her home is covered with equally huge pictures of herself as a teenager.
I'm surprised the gift portrait isn't of her in her cheerleading outfit.

Last night I was forced to sit through the cuntry muzak bullshit awards while gramma ludes-a-lot drooled and dropped ashes on the sofa between phone calls. The calls are from her family. They call about every 10 hours or so to see how we're treating her. The whole fucking lot of them are freaks.

Four more days. Then she's gone.


I am sexy...Oh yea...
Wow...I hope I don't have to deal with this when I get married. Oh geez, I can already tell my parents are going to be considered the "Evil In-laws" to my future wife.

Angry Nanite

I'm sure your inlaws won't be considered 'evil' at all.
But just in case here are a few "don'ts" to help them stay out of the doghouse with your new wife:

Don't allow them to take all her furniture/personal possessions out of storage and then sell them for personal gain.
Don't let them then lie to her and claim the items were all stolen.
Don't let them bully you into "loaning" them money only to have them deny ever having borrowed it when it's time to pay it back.
Don't let them show up at the door in the middle of the night with a stash of illegal drugs insisting that you hide them for awhile.
Don't let them threaten her with weapons simply because they are having one of their "moods" and want everyone out of the house.
Don't let them break into her home while she's there [whoops you weren't supposed to be here...] and then physically restrain her from calling the police.
Don't pretend that none of these things ever happened because it's easier to go along with the redneck fucktards of the degenerate clan rather than make them stop or face the consequences of their actions.

Follow these simple guidelines and you'll be on the right path to a successful marriage.