WTF ... IS WTF!?
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I wish I had never agreed to do dishes. Now I work 5 days a week for 5 hours a day and I can't even move my arms. Ouch. I need a something. Something to take away the pain. Ouch. Everything hurts. But at least I know I'm building muscles. :p


The Stranger Returns...
sucks don't it?

I just work my ass off almost everyday the week for 8 hours a day, come home and do more shit around the house, then maybe go somewhere and finish some shit off then when I get home I just look forward to sleep

there's nothing better than knowing u've got the bed to look forward to just lying there resting, even if u can't always feels good to relax

I need a hammock, in my room....I working on it, hehe...two hooks, screwed into the 2x4's between two walls, then just hang the hammock up when needed


The Stranger Returns...
I know exactly how u feel...last wednesday I went dirtbiking 5 hours, almost broke my thumb on a fall, and didn't get home to sleep til 1am
I had to get up at 5am to go to work
it was so hard to work, my thumb was killing me so I couldn't exert force with it, my ass was killing me from sitting on a dirtbike for 5 hours straight, and I only got 4 hours of sleep for the 8 hour day

today I worked 9 and a half hours, I stay almost a couple hours over cause I was dealin with issues inside me, and I just didn't feel like going home..or going anywhere, I hate when I work while I'm depressed, it's so much easier for everyone to piss u off and get in ur way....I got so stressed out I decided to sit in the freezer for 10 minutes alone...sometimes I wish everyone would leave me alone, and not talk to me...but there are these two girls there that I have a crush on, one of them I'd really love to ask out, and since she broke up with her bf last night, she's single now.....but it was because she found out her bf cheated on her with her best friend and like 10 other she's really hurt about it, she seemed quiet today at work, she's was still nice to me as usual but I could tell in her voice she wasn't right...but at least she told me, I feel like her friend more so I was able to help her out..but now I don't want to become a rebound, or take advantage of her while she's hurt
and I think the other girl, which is her friend(it's like we all know each other outside work, exept me), I think she likes me...can't really find a way to prove it, I'm just really nice to them, and there the same way with me, we all make work fun.....
I just don't know what to do right now
tommorrow I'll try to make her feel better some how....always wanted to tell her, "if I ever found someone, I wish she will be as nice as you"
maybe she'll find the hint in there, I'm not very straightforward

plus there's something inside me that's just deeply troubling me, I can't figure out what it is yet, hoping dreams would show me, cause I just keep getting recurring thoughts of suicide, and I don't want to go that direction again...I'm not sad cause that'll never happen, but i feel depressed, what about...maybe I'll figure it out in my sleep tonight
god help me~Seije