teh anarchist said:
I have a problem. Whenever I drink (not excessively .. usually around 5-6 drinks), I always pass out pretty much as soon as I lie down somewhere. This would be fine, but according to friends of mine, I cannot be woken up. They say they've kicked, smacked, and yelled at me in attempts to wake me up, but that I just don't budge
Does anyone know of a way to wake up a person who has passed out from drinking? (or anything else for that matter)
(P.S. I thought I posted this before but couldn't find the thread ... maybe I was just drunk and didn't press enter or something, but if I did post something along these lines a link would help thx)
Well first let me tell you my friend;I am compelled to agree with my associate Dr.gehtfuct. You're headed down a shadowy path toward tea bagging and “Pwned” pics. This is a problem that needs to be addressed if you plan on having a normal recreational development. It’s something you need to act on Today!
Ok, you’re aware of your problem, and that’s the first step. The next thing you do is seek help. That’s two down… Break time, how ‘bout a beer?
You ask us if we know how to wake up a person who has passed out from drinking. I think you may want to go about it a different way.
1. When you go out drinking, ask yourself “Who am I with? If I pass out, will this crew serial teabag me?” - You need to know you’re with people you can trust. Remember, when you’re passed out on a strange couch, you’re vulnerable to a myriad of ruthless and psychosexual, pranks. You need to surround yourself with caring, supportive friends, who won’t let you wake up with “Balls Go Here” in marker pen, on your forehead.
2. Know the lay of the land – When you arrive at a drinking venue, take note of the layout. Make sure to steer clear of any spacious accommodating furniture or other domestic fixtures. Don’t let a thicker than normal carpet, suck you in. It may look flat and uninviting, but after a couple; that barren broadloom, becomes a slumberous utopia of cut pile paradise.
If you must sit; a stool, preferably wood with no back would be an ideal find. If there are none available, then any small straight back, marginally comfortable chair will do. Better you should remain standing as much as possible. (Remember; sit briefly as a break from standing, not vice-versa)
Leaning against a wall not only holds you up, but if done correctly, even makes you look cool, relaxed and comfortable in your own skin, (or so you think after a few more brewskies).
3. Stimulation - Try and mingle with members of the opposite sex. In your initial look around the place in step two, take that opportunity, to notice the available mating partners. Women are known to have the uncanny ability to keep our attention. Not the talking kind, but the ones that have had a few more drinks than you, and are table dancing in nothing but your hoodie; and making suggestive gestures, as if to un-zip at any moment.
You’ll these vixens of social recovery vital in your progress, so follow their lead. Remember, they only want what’s best for you, (if you got a cool car).
Well that about covers the three cardinal rules to keeping awake, after alcohol consumption. I hope this has been helpful. My greatest satisfaction is when someone comes back to me and says “Max, I gluv heeww man (Hiccup) yer the best”. If I can make an impact on just one person’s life each day, I’m a happy man.
