perfect girl, but one thing wrong....

swizeguy · Nov 26, 2004

Well heres my problem.. might be alittle long but i would appreaciate some input... I have been dating a girl for a couple months now that i really really like. i have been head over heals for her sence the first date. She is fun to be with shes atractive and has a great personality. BUT... and it seems like there is always a but.. well the problem is for me atleast this. Im the kind of person that likes to pick people apart.. basicly i just like to know how their mind works and what they are thinking of everything. Its quite important for me to know, especailly for the girl im dating. i want to make her happy. But with my g/f now she never ever tells me whats on her mind. Even when i ask her directly she just kinda shrugs and says "nothin'" and i know she is lying to me i can tell. I dont understand why she does it but she never tells me.
It really bothers me for some reason and i have tried talking to her and she says that she will try to tell me but then i just feel stupid for bugging her about it and it just ends up happening again..
What do you think i should do?
Just say frigg it and forget about it and jsut go with it.. or what.. ahh i just dont know why there cant ever be something without some sort of catch..

magnolia · Nov 26, 2004

hm. that's tough. I don't know what to tell ya. I do know that with my bf it's sometimes hard to tell him what's really on my mind. I dunno. Maybe she's just having trouble. I'd lay off for a bit and see if she opens up to ya. I dunno. That's what i'd try anyway. Good luck!

swizeguy · Nov 26, 2004

I kinda blame the dirt bags that she has dated before.. they treated her really badly from what i hear from her friends. they told her that she was stupid and that her opinion didnt matter and crap like that. oh it bugs me.

betrayed · Nov 26, 2004

I guess no one is perfect, maybe you could ask her why she doesn't share that with you and assure her its ok to talk to you.. Make her comfortable..

swizeguy · Nov 26, 2004

i have tried but maybe im going at it wrong.. i dunno i have always had ppl be comforable telling me everything. some even tell me things i would rather them not. but with her i cant get her to tell me anything. she is differnt then anyone i have ever met.

teh anarchist · Nov 26, 2004

I'm in your exact situation man, aside from that I'm not quite as head over heels for the girl I'm dating.

The only things you can do are A:make her feel guilty for not telling you.. B:wait for her to open up (if you open up to her first it sholdn't take too long) .. or C: if it's bothering you that much .. and you can't get her to change ... you need to make the choice as to if it's worth not knowing what's on her mind to be with her

g'luck

swizeguy · Nov 26, 2004

teh anarchist said:

Thanks.. im thinking im def. not at the point where i woudl even think about that third option.. but i think im gonna try to talk to her a bit and maybe just open up to her a bit more.. which is gonna be a hard one on my part.. the only person i have ever really opend up to dumped me like a week after.. sigh..

magnolia · Nov 26, 2004

swizeguy said:

Well, maybe one night while you two are snuggling you could gently tell her that you care for her and her oppinion means a lot to you and that you'll always listen if she ever needs to talk about anything or has an opinion on anything. She probobly just needs to be reassured that you aren't like those other ppl. She'll open up at some point. U just need to be there for her.

swizeguy · Nov 26, 2004

magnolia said:

Well, maybe one night while you two are snuggling you could gently tell her that you care for her and her oppinion means a lot to you and that you'll always listen if she ever needs to talk about anything or has an opinion on anything. She probobly just needs to be reassured that you aren't like those other ppl. She'll open up at some point. U just need to be there for her.

thanks that doesnt sound like too bad of an idea.

Darkmage · Nov 27, 2004

swizeguy said:

Dude, I've been in this same situation before....This can go no where good. I'm an over-analytical type of boyfriend too, and I always use to ask the same questions I'm sure you are asking. I know you are in love with her, and I know exactly what that's like. So, my only advice to you would be: expect everything! *not suspect* but just brace yourself....In situations like this, they can either end up just fine, or the worst situation possible. I don't mean to make you paranoid, but believe me, I've been in this same exact situation, and I know how it can turn out, and I'd hate to see it what happened to me happen to someone else. So, stick with her, but always keep your guard up

MsPunK · Nov 28, 2004

i agree with magnolia. wait till your all snuggled up nd just gently tell her that youll be there if she wants to talk but theres no pressure. she might not knw her friends have told you about her past so dont bring that up.

supposedtabeme · Nov 28, 2004

She's like me, I never say what I think when it comes to the emotional part

.

Maybe, she needs to feel you trust her or that you won't judge her; maybe by you telling her what's on your mind might help.

Give her some time?

gurlgonewild · Nov 28, 2004

what is driving you MORE crazy? That she won't relent or that you cannot get it out of her?

You need to put in the time. Eventually something will give. BEWARE: you may not like what does.

I knew this one guy who was unlike anyone I ever met, and getting to know him was not worth the wait. I hope your situation differs.

moe · Nov 28, 2004

sometimes ppl dont want to talk about things with anyone until their ready, maybe she's not ready or maybe she was just spacing out. i do that alot and my b/f gets on my case about it, he swears something's wrong when its not, i just spaced...so maybe she's doing that. just dont jump to conclusions and if you like her as much as you say then take her word for it.

Ctoit · Dec 2, 2004

How about --- that's how she is........everybody has something about them, what you need to learn is that its okay for them to have whatever it is....she wont open up to you, so what -- you two are still happy as you stated "head over heels" so what difference does it make.........thats just a part of her, deal with it.

one-dead-soul · Dec 2, 2004

she probably not opeing up to you because you say u need to know everything that your gf thinking, maybe she just dont want to be as bothered and you need to chill out with the need to know thing. if there really something she wants you to know im sure man she would tell you

ChaosDragon357 · Mar 26, 2006

I had that problem with my GF too. I'm not sure how it's going for you in the relationship department, but we had a few arguments that were just because she wouldn't tell me what was really wrong and i was trying to help her with the wrong problem. Eventually she learned that I really CAN help her if i know what's wrong. All i'm saying is, it took some time, but she came around on her own.

Hope that helps at all.

(We've been going out for over a year now

)

The_Observer · Mar 26, 2006

i think you should listen to the things that she DOES SAY because usually girls speak there mind with emphasis on certain things that they do say.

also known, as beating around the bush. guys do it do. so just pay a little more attention and don't worry about it. maybe you don't wanna know what it is? it could make you not trust her.

you are with a girl, so why not just have the trust and flow with things. If it is of importance that you know something then she will tell you in her way.

Tostig · Mar 26, 2006

i think you two should stop digging up super old threads and posting in them. try looking at the dates before you post.

meh_it_all · Mar 26, 2006

Like it's been said, try and look at the post. Most of these posters don't even post anymore.
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