Ok, so has anyone heard any good jokes lately? Ill start it off with a few that made me laugh. Then you guys can add on ur own pesonal favorites.
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck", he says, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies.' The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "Timex." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "Ford, because Quality is Job 1." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?" Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is Secret. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look he asks, "Why Secret?" The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"
If Your Dog's Name Was...
Mypenis...Look at what would happen...
Mypenis ate my homework.
Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
I love giving Mypenis a bath.
At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!me
Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.
Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.
If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.
Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
Help! I can't find Mypenis!
Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
Sorry to be driving so fast, officer - I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.
Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck", he says, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies.' The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "Timex." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "Ford, because Quality is Job 1." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?" Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is Secret. Now give me my beer." The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look he asks, "Why Secret?" The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"
If Your Dog's Name Was...
Mypenis...Look at what would happen...
Mypenis ate my homework.
Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
I love giving Mypenis a bath.
At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!me
Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.
Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.
If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.
Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
Help! I can't find Mypenis!
Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
Sorry to be driving so fast, officer - I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.
Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!
