WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Practice what you preach, bitch.

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#1
I took off of work today because my friends wanted to spend all day trying out some new workout techniques (which were crap, but that's not the topic here), and I agreed to check it out. I woke up later than I was planning on this morning, so I didn't have time to cook myself a decent breakfast. No problem there, I just spent the extra bit of time surfing online a bit. On the way to their house, I stopped by a gas station to grab a quick breakfast. After checking out a bit of nutrition information, I decided to settle for some jerky. Low sodium, hell yeah! Anyways, when I was in line to buy it, a woman's voice behind me starts complaining about the meat. I turn around expecting to see some hippie chick preparing to give me a big lecture on animal cruelty, but instead I see a woman who probably hasn't seen her shoes since the early 70's. In one hand, she's got one of those jumbo slurpees, and in the other, a large bag of Doritos. "Alright, not the usual hippie," I think to myself as I wait to hear about how the meat companies kill bunnies or some stupid shit. Instead, I get a lecture on how bad meat is for your body. That's right. I'm standing there with 5% body fat, being lectured on unhealthy eating by some injured manatee that was holding food much worse. Normally, I would have countered with a lecture on the dangers of obesity, but I was way too stunned to say anything. All I could get out was "Um, okay," then turned around for my change before I left. Who the fuck did she think she was telling me what to eat? Hell, at least I got a damn nice story to tell out of it.
 
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#2
You should have said "Practice what you preach, bitch." :)
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#3
Bahahaha! Like I said, just the situation in general left me stunned. I did burst out laughing when I was on the road though.
 
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Nailbomb said:
...injured manatee...
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Not sure why, but that struck me as damn funny.
You know...you need a little supply of one-liners and smart, witty comments for people like that. They need to be designed to inflict maximum damage to a person's self-confidence with minimal effort on your part. Those are best delivered with your standard teenage "fuckoffanddie" voice in a dry - yet amused - manner, and in some cases an actual follow up "FUCK OFF" just brings the whole ensemble together perfectly.

:)

Some people are still alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
 

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
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Wait, I eat jerky. Does that mean I'm killink the poor cute bunny-wunnnies?!? NOOOO! I like those stupid little creatures! Oh thank you, random hippie, for righiting the horrible wrong that I've made by buying this smoked stick of beef. Where would the world be without you, 70 year old hippie? I'll tell you, HELL! Oh wait, were already in hell, so I guess we don't need you. Now go die please.
 

lynduhland

Prone to Bad Karma
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lol, the first thing that popped in my head was: "that lady sounds like she needs sex."
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#7
That was a great story Nailbomb. Made my day.