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Printers are fucking garbage

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#1
I miss the days when I could just hit print and something prints. Now, it might print, it might not, and when it doesn't, I have to fuck around with it for a good hour plus just to get it to do something.

I mean, it's 2018. Is it really that difficult to make something that works like it's supposed to?
 

Crazizniac

Particinator
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#3
HP Officejet Pro 8600. I really like this printer. I've had it three years and it works. I love it's wireless compatibility - never glitches, doesn't wad up the paper and prints great on "draft" mode.
 

BRiT

CRaZY
Founder
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#4
All printers suck. This includes the huge industrial xerox multifunction devices too. This also includes the ones with expanded support where you only need to do a file copy across the network to a CIF share. It's all a matter to what degree. It's a real pain printing at the enterprise level with Windows and being able to detect errors or faults.
 

ThisIsBananas

Tough guy!
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#5
I have this HP 3 in 1 device that is a printer, scanner, and copier. I remember first getting it and trying to get it to work, only printing default pages with information about the printer and stock images. Eventually I somehow got it working for years. Twice though there was a paper stuck in the queue, and no amount of trying to delete it or restarting the computer would get rid of it. I had to delete the printer program and reinstall it. Now it likes to quickly burn through ink for some reason. It pisses me off.
 
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MaxPower

You're my number two
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#6
When I worked at ##### in the mid 90s, we had some badass hostile environment printers that took whatever you threw at them, swallowed it, shit it out and threw it back in your face. And by that I mean they were very reliable.
 

ThisIsBananas

Tough guy!
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#7
When I worked at ##### in the mid 90s, we had some badass hostile environment printers that took whatever you threw at them, swallowed it, shit it out and threw it back in your face. And by that I mean they were very reliable.
What kinds of printers were they?
 

BRiT

CRaZY
Founder
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#8
When I worked at ##### in the mid 90s, we had some badass hostile environment printers that took whatever you threw at them, swallowed it, shit it out and threw it back in your face. And by that I mean they were very reliable.
They have become far worse since then. Today's horrible office printers and multi-function devices (Xerox / HP) have mechanical spinner hard-drives in them that love to crash. The systems also love to hibernate and not wake up when jobs are spooled to them, despite many of them running embedded BSD/*NIX internally. They also love to make print jobs disappear, as they're configured from the supplier to purge all print jobs at midnight. None of this behavior can be corrected or changed unless you're the actual service provider for the equipment. Yes, a good part of that is in how the vendor provides service to them, but they're doing a horrible fucking job at it and we've been through multiple service providers already. It's like the entire printing service providers are run by millennials who don't know shit.

Also, the service they do is always reactionary and never proactive. They could be notified for an entire fucking week that toner is low and at 10% or less and will run out at the current pace in 1 week or less and they won't ever order replacement toner until it hits 0 %. Then it takes them a day to get replacement toner and then 2 more days to send out a worthless millennial to do the actual replacement. At this point, the printer is dead in the water for 3 days, sometimes an entire week if the toner hits 0% on a Friday evening.

It makes me want a dozen or so printers physically attached through serial ports or parallel ports to a print spooler / server.
 

Danni

Sheepo Bandito
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#9
I have a love/hate relationship with office printers. And when you work in an office that has over 100 people on one floor that uses the command section printer, it's bound to fuck up from time to time. Usually it fucks up right before I need to print talking points out for my General, or someone is printing 500 copies of a change of command pamphlet. And then they don't change the cartridges.
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
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#10
And let's hear it for multi cartridge printers that refuse to print black and white or grey scale if the magenta, yellow or Cyan ink is out.
 

ThisIsBananas

Tough guy!
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#11
I have a love/hate relationship with office printers. And when you work in an office that has over 100 people on one floor that uses the command section printer, it's bound to fuck up from time to time. Usually it fucks up right before I need to print talking points out for my General, or someone is printing 500 copies of a change of command pamphlet. And then they don't change the cartridges.
And let's hear it for multi cartridge printers that refuse to print black and white or grey scale if the magenta, yellow or Cyan ink is out.
I frequently assign documents to print on the nearby printer, but somehow it gets sent out to the printer on the other side of the building. Frustrating and makes no sense. Settings are set wrong on the computer, I can't change them, and the admins won't change them.