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Programming Jokes

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
102
177
#1
i ran into some really good ones recently and wanted to start this thread for them. the first one is a classic:
i couldnt find this joke in english, but the one phrase in spanish means i will not bother my classmates


this next joke is a really good one as well
Programmer's Translation

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED... We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM... We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION... We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH... It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED... We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE... The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING... We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED... The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS... It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT... Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL... Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING... We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION... I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS... Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW... Code not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT...It finally worked!

17. LOW MAINTENANCE... Impos sible to fix if broken.

please share more PROGRAMMING jokes
 

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
102
177
#4
code not interchangable with current design. im sure that the following applies to that:

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT... Forget it! We have enough problems for now.