randomness expressed

[Tetragrammon]

God...the one all give credit unto for good deeds upon this earth...
i agree he is there, i agree he is the divine creator...i agree he controls our destiny...
but none the less no matter how much i love God, and his great blessing upon me
i will always desire my gift he gave man...Free Will.
He bestowed upon us the power of choice...i choose to quest for absolute choice...
i strive to use his gift to the upmost potential. I do not regret this, and i believe it is not
held against me by God...for if he begrudged me for using his gift why has he given me you
in my life...why has he given me my daughter Kiana...I know God fully understands my mind
and i know Lucifer does as well...
I know many believe me to be corrupted by Satan for my thoughts but i am not..
These are not thoughts against God, but rather for him...and for his creations and gift to us...
God made us all in his image, and bestowed upon us Free Will to do as we chose, then he put
the slightest of restriction upon it...which i dont believe he did for no reason... I feel he restricted
Free Will with conscience...he did that so humanity would restrain from doing the horrible...
So we would survive to continue beyond the first generation...and now we have, we
have gone beyond anything most could ever dream of...And why not strive to finally use the
complete gift we were given...I dont begrudge God, and i dont want him out of my life..
He is still my lord and savior, but at the same time i do not want him to restrain
the gift he gave me anymore..
I was to be set free, i want to have the absolute gift..i want to show the world
the ultimate blessing God gave us, i want to show them all that no matter what no mortal
will ever be able to match the power and grace that is God...no human can ever create conscience
thought...no human can ever bestow Free Will to another...
Only God can, and it is time we embraced what he has done for us...no longer living
in fear of Satan...Cause with the guidance of God and the freedom of will we can crush
lucifer beneath our heel and have a world free of strife and torment...no more anger
no more hate...just bliss and joy...
We can have the world God wanted us to have...

 

[Tetragrammon]

My soul burns, my mind bleeds, my heart fails...
the chaos that rends my body is beyond imagine...
what is this power, what is this force of chaos that lingers in my body...
why does it hurt yet i embrace it...
what is it about this pleasurable pain that draws me towards you...
i know not what this is, i care not anymore...
i cannot any longer resist this drive, this power overwhelming my body...
it must have release, it must find a point of focus..
it must find an equal..

 

[Tetragrammon]

The death of man is inevitable. We are a society designed and built upon death and destruction.
our religions are based upon killing and fighting, our news shows violence throughout the world.
Everything about humanity is based in some violent, or turburlent structure. Even the most
gentle of things, like love have violence to them. People who love each other still argue and
bicker about things. No matter where you look in humanity there is anger flaring, and violence
erupting. And so i say that due to those horrible aspects of humanity, all of humanity should
be wiped out of existence. Yes, i know i have a new daughter, and have plans for a future, but
life for humanity must end! We are destroying ourselves and the planet we live on. lets do one
final destruction and rid the planet of the failed experiment called humanity....

 

[Tetragrammon]

The demons of chaos rend my soul,
the ghosts of my past plague my thoughts,
these things remind me of the hurt from love,
they instill the fear of companionship,
if only i could meet someone that would help me overcome them,
that could raise me up out of this void of oneness,
i dream of happiness,
but i doubt i will ever find it...
for i shall forever be one soul, alone and without another...

 

[Tetragrammon]

Life... strife with pain, filled with joy..we all have faced happiness and saddness in it...we all endure
pain and we all endure joy
but no matter what with the focus of mind we can overcome anything, we can triumph over the pain of
loss, we can open up to a loved one, we can close off a hated one...
the human body is but a tool to carry the mind through life, all thoughts, feelings and emotions come
from the mind, all compassion and anger...
all sweet touches and rough blows...the mind is the focus of our body, many claim the soul to be our
epicenter, but what does the soul do? it is nothing but the result of thought...
my soul, and yours are non-existant, yet overwhelmingly powerful...for it is the strength of will we
possess that makes our souls, it is the clear concise thoughts that we possess
that motivate our actions...
my mind was once flooded with images of hatred, and rage. many say i was the tool of the devil,
others say i was possessed, but i was neither, i was using them...
i used lucifer like i use god, they are both but tools of the mind, manifested through will of humanity,
for our use and amusement...
do you follow the path of conscience thought, the path of precise calculation in all actions and
emotions, or that of the free willed, the chaotic...
they are all choices we make on our own, not through the divine, no immortal being of infinite power
guides your actions, except your own mind...
you will never find another thing more powerful then your own mind, you will never find another
object as resisliant to pain as your will,
i have subjected my own psyche to all the torture i could imagine then i added one more to
break myself...i found my tolerance, i found my limits...
i pushed my psyche to its max and then beyond, for i quest the one thing no others seem to
desire...i quest for total acceptance of myself and my flaws
i do not seek perfection of body and mind, i do not seek perfection of spirit and soul...i seek
myself, no others, i yearn to learn my own mind...
i push myself to understand the worst i can do and the best, i know many do not understand my
questing, i know many will never understand it...
but that is because they do not understand the Gift of Freewill, they do not understand that we
choose everything, from the horrid to the honorable...
such as this writing, chaotic in its wording and pathing, yet so structured in its ideals...it is
what i chose, its what i poured forth...
these are my darkest secrets, these are my brightest memories...
i have been down the light and dark paths, i have stoically flayed the skin off animals, i have
cruxified creatures of gods making for personal joy...
i have hurt my fellow man emotionally, i have revealed in their weakness of will, their flawed
minds...
yet i have freely given my love, i have devoutly persued the highest of happiness, i have
seeked true absolute love..
yes i have encountered the bad, which i knew it to be before i entered it...
My exwife, i knew before i married her that i had no emotional attachment to her, but how was
i to understand hurt if i didnt force it upon myself..
and so that is where my daughter comes in...she is nothing more then my self torture...
she is my test of will...through her i experience loss, and love, i finally discovered what happiness
and hurt were all at once...and now i have found another
now i have found another soul on this earth that is similiar to mine, a person that i have an extreme
attraction you, both on a physical level and a mental level..
the profound magnetism of her is beyond comprehension to me, which drives me insane...i push
my self to understand her, to test her tolerance for me...
i try and find to what point will she accept me and to what point will she reject me...
i must find it, i must know the tolerance of her love...i must know if she has the strength of will to
match mine...if she can really be the one person that i have
looked for my entire existence...
i must know if she is the one that not even my limitless focus can defeat...can she be the one
that can with stand me and come out loving me all the more for it...
can she be the one i was meant to spend every waking second thinking of...is she the one that
i can finally say i love...for there is not another on this planet i can
say i love...will she be the one and only that truely cracks my heart and finds my ultimate
weakness...
i dont know...but i must find out...

 

[Boycott]

Give up.

 

[shaekatherine]

UH.... I read it all, but i am sure no-one else will. But hey. nice.

 

[Jarilith]

Ummmm........... I hate broccoli?

 

[Boycott]

UH.... I read it all, but i am sure no-one else will. But hey. nice.

:O I read it all and all i had to say was "Give up"
You're younger so you notice it was something like one of your friends would write. I look at it as crap.

 

[shaekatherine]

:O I read it all and all i had to say was "Give up"
You're younger so you notice it was something like one of your friends would write. I look at it as crap.

When i said, "Nice" I meant because, well... he spent so much time on it, it seems. Sounded like a bunch of bs when i read it tho.. Oh well.

 

[Awaken]

Err...why is this thread called "randomness expressed" ? I tried reading through it, but it was too damn boring, really. I'm not quite sure what it was supposed to be. Was it a poem? I started reading it as an essay, but the format just looked weird, so I'm assuming it was a poem.

Nope, I didn't like what I read.

 

[Icarus]

You've got puberty!

 

[Boycott]

You've got puberty!

No, we have a late bloomer. This guy's in his early 20's ... and writing something that a 13 year old would write. It had nothing to do with anything. I wrote something similar to this in what grade 8 and then I realized that it was crap and threw it away.