WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Rebuttal to girls read this....

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
183
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1. Learn to use the garbage can and laundry basket. You are a big boy, and your mother does NOT live here.

2. Sundays are a day of rest. Shut the TV off and get OFF YOUR ASS.

3. Shopping is a mental test of will and skill.

4. When I am blackmailing you, it is not the time to have a beer. Make me feel better. Or else.

5. There is no yes and no answers in life. If you have to think harder or you just dont understand, then tell us and we can explain it in smaller words. If need be, we can spell it out in pretzels and beer cans so you will understand.



6. You must be able to solve the problem without us thinking that you are solving it for us.
7. A porno flick is not a turn on.

9.Any comments made will be held on your permanent record, get used to it.

10.If you wont act like a soap opera guy, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
11. If we think we are fat, and you look at a skinny teenager, that is a black mark on your permanent record.

12. If you can not answer a question without making it two-sided, you are wrong. We are right.

13. You can either do it when we ask it or hear about it for the next 7 days. Your choice.

14. Whenever possible, please Look at us when we speak to you, even if it is during a rerun of Sportsfisherman or whatever crap you are watching.
15. Christopher Columbus discovered america. you discovered a long road to nowhere. buy a map.

16. We know you are not interested in the color of our panties, unless they are coming off. We, in turn, are not interested in your car or sport unless it is directly beneficial to our shopping schedule.

17. We will kick the dog off the couch for scratching sensitive areas. We should do the same to you, but instead we nag. Deal.

18. If you can not tell if something is wrong or not, then something is wrong. Make it better, that is your job.

19. If you give an answer you know we dont want to hear, refer to # 12.

20. When we are going somewhere, your shirt from high school is not appropriate. Niether is the Im with stupid shirt. Wear the nice on mom bought you for christmass.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Shopping, Makeup, Clothes, Gossip, Rumors, Work, Ethics, Politics, Religion. Unfortunately we do not think as slowly as you do, please try to keep up.

22. You have enough tools.

23. You have too many sports videos.

24. Comments on our shape (esp our weight and ass) are not permitted unless they are in one of these three phrases :
a. Honey, you are so much sexier than HER.
b. Baby, I love your body.
c. I am so glad I have such a beautiful (wife, girlfriend)

25. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, it was a lot for you to digest. If you have any further questions, I will be typing the manual soon, there are about 1999 pages written for you to read.

Oh, and honey, can you check the oil for me? Please dont forget to take out the garbage!

:thumbsup:
 

Fugly

Tenderony
524
0
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Lies all Lies. I will not stand for this Feminist propaganda!!! ;)


More evidence for the legalization of prostitution in all states.
 

Fugly

Tenderony
524
0
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reminds me of this time this girl said, "HA! What would men do without us women?" I just replied," Domesticate another animal."
 

magnolia

Postaholic
4,093
62
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Fugly said:
reminds me of this time this girl said, "HA! What would men do without us women?" I just replied," Domesticate another animal."
haha. rofl! I think a lot of that is true about the rules too. :p except the car thing. I love a guy in a nice car or truck.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
183
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magnolia said:
haha. rofl! I think a lot of that is true about the rules too. :p except the car thing. I love a guy in a nice car or truck.

and guys are so god damn sexy when they are working on thier cars, I love watching CL work on his car.
 

Child of Bodom

Son of Kali
158
0
0
magnolia said:
haha. rofl! I think a lot of that is true about the rules too. :p except the car thing. I love a guy in a nice car or truck.


Whats up with girls and dating guys with a car? it ticks me off now that they've moved the age of driving to 17. im not gonna get a date till im a senior at least at this rate
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
30
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magnolia said:
Yeah. Guys working on cars are the hottest thing out there. mmm. :drool:
Its not the guy its the machine he working on, fuck watching them work on their car...

I will do it myself..
 

Child of Bodom

Son of Kali
158
0
0
Ni99aRuss said:
Damn dustinzgirl you must have shit tryin to squeeze all of that humor out of your thick head. I bet you could stuff all your brains in a knats ass and it would still rattle.

Dude, this isnt B&T, So stfu, please
 

chubz

fluffy teh penguin
243
0
0
you want to know how a guy sees it?

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. Crying is blackmail.

14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

23. Check your oil.

24. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

25. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

26. No, it does not matter which quiz.

27. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

28. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic.

31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

36. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

37. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

38. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

39. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

40. If it itches, it will be scratched.

41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.

43. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

44. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her,together.

46. What the hell is a doily?

its long but. . . too bad
 

TheLampIncident

Modern Moses
4,248
1
0
You know what else I hate about that list? It assumes all guys spend their time doing completely useless and inane shit like watching sports and drinking beer. How can you get more retarded?
 

chubz

fluffy teh penguin
243
0
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sorry buddy. . . it isnt my list i dont have that much free time

i read about the first ten and posted all of them

schorry?
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
183
0
TheLampIncident said:
You know what else I hate about that list? It assumes all guys spend their time doing completely useless and inane shit like watching sports and drinking beer. How can you get more retarded?

Its a joke dipshirt. are you really going to take everything seriously?