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S.C.U.M. presents, courtesy of Taylor_Blade: Drunks do the damnedest things!

List some of the craziest things people do while they’re drunk.
These can be things that you have done.
Things that your friends have done.
Or, just things you have heard of random people doing, while intoxicated.

Also, include any regrets that you might have afterwards. (and DON’T Lie!)

Please, only include real life scenarios, that have ACTUALLY HAPPENED. :thumbsup:



Trance Addict
we went to an elementary school and started a (small) bonfire in the unlocked gymnasium...i dont think anyone in our group ever got caught.

i regret nothing! i, am, not a crook! * peace sign on both hands held high *

I Hate The FCC

Homo est Deus
Once I was drinking and I started to sing Pink Floyd's "Bike". I sang the part "Let's go into the other room and make it work" to some chick and she slapped me. I started to laugh and started singing "A Groovy Situation." My friends took me in the car and drove away embarresed. I didn't care 'cause this happened in Utah.
I regret nothing.

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
I once made out with a girl that i didnt like but had the hots for me. Oops. That caused me a lot of pain the next morning, and I do regret the whole thing.


A friend of mine got her hair caught on fire at a party. Everyone was drunk and she tossed her hair right into the flame of a lighter. She had no idea that it was on fire but everyone else did. We soaked her with beer from the plastic cups trying to put it out. She was pissed. I regret the party foul of pouring out good beer. :thumbsup:


dolor ex fides
So I went out with some of my friends to a bar. Several whiskey cokes and vodka sours later, we go this guy's house who is a friend of my friend. Several beers and some weird kinda mixed drinks later, they are passing around a joint. I am drunk enough to think this was a good idea. After more than my share of the joint, I am given a large piece of special brownie. I am high/drunk enough to think this is a good idea as well. I also decide that another piece of special brownie is a good idea. Now here is the good part. The part that makes me feel really, really stupid.

This was the night before my college graduation.

I got home from my binge at 4:30am. I had to show up at 8:00am.
I felt much better after I puked. Then I felt even better after puking the second time. And when I showed up at Graduation - I was still drunk and/or high.

I was stupid. Very, very fucking stupid. And I don't even have the luxury of saying "well, I was a kid, it happens." I was 22.

A lesson to all that read this. The night before your graduation, just stay home. Be in bed by 10:00. Get up, graduate, then go fucking crazy.
bnccoder said:
When can we expect them?

I dunno, if I make it through the night, probably in the morning. :beer:

One crazy thing I've done in the past. (this one's at the bottom of the list)

Went to my ex-girlfriend's house, while I knew she was gone.

Had a few people.

Her brother opened the door.

One of the people with me brought a knife. (dumbshit.)

Held her brother down on the couch with the knife to his throat.

While he was down, I went around the entire house taking all the shit she stole from me.

I raided the fridge. Grabbed a few beers...well the rest of the beers that her brother was drinking.

Took the milk.

Took some ramen.

Took my photo album back.

Took some other stuff I can't remember...

Then as I walked to the car, we took care of some tires in the area. They were too full of air.
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One night I was drunk off everclear and ended up walking around town at 3AM slashing tires. I made it to 40 before I decided that I should probally get out of there incase one of the people decided to go to work. That was the night my friend puked half a pizza off the balcony onto some guy's pattio below. Huge chunks and it stank like hell. I wish I could have seen his face when he found it. :cool:
This is a story that happen a long time ago, and has already been posted in this site. However I know if I post a link, some stupid fuck will revive that old thread. So, instead I'll just copy it and re-post it here. :thumbsup:

We pick up the story half-way through: After leaving a party.

On my way to my car that I had to park 6 blocks away, I saw this party. So, naturally I joined in the fun, and had a few drinks. Then on the way home I got jacked. (DAMN IT!) at this point I'm really drunk and then hunger set in. So, I gather up what little change there was in my car, and headed to get some food. I ordered a bacon cheese burger, and two fries. I decided to stop, and eat the food at a park on the way home. Why? No clue I was wasted. When I opened the bag I discovered they only gave me a fry. (FUCKIN BASTERDS!) I was in no condition to go back and bitch so, I ate my fry in peace, got back in my car and once again headed home. Then, I met two girls while I was stopped at a red light. I followed them to another party. Later, While dancing, I puked on one of them. After that, I decided I better take my drunk ass home. I got home and parked in what I thought was the driveway. Proceeded to exit my vehicle and go inside. But some how,
between my car and the front door I lost my keys. I then spent the next hour or so looking for them. Finally, I past out on the front porch. When i woke up my car was In the yard (looks like I tried to park it on the porch.) and as for my keys. THEY WERE IN MY POCKET!

Looking back on that night the only thing I really regret is:
That I left the parties, and drove home drunk. :thumbsup:


I mixed together a bottle of Smirnoff and E&J Brandy when my friends and I went to a hotel party after the football homecoming. After drinking the entire thing, one of my friends who was even more drunk than I was revealed the fact that he had stolen some girls' room key who was just down the hall from us earlier that night. So I went out to the car, probably stumbled/tripped/fell down several stairs on the way, went in the trunk, and got out some shaving cream, and some other shit I had been saving for later, to get people while they were sleeping. We went down to the girls' room, slipped into a totally dark room, (mind you, we're all still totally wasted) and several of us hid against a bunch of walls. We all then proceeded to turn the heat all the way up, so they'll be sweating and shit, and began pouring the shaving cream, lotion, cake icing, and Vaseline on everyone's faces. Well, we're still drunk, so we're all a little clumsy doing it, so we were in there a good fifteen minutes or so (we didn't JUST put it on their faces :) ). Someone started playing with one of their faces with his dick. At this point, half of us weren't able to contain our laughter, but these girls were in a deep sleep. After I used up my shaving cream that I had, I slipped over by the door. By now, I was slightly aware of what I was doing, and aware that they might wake up because of the noise we were making. The girls were already talking in their sleep, probably dreaming, because one of them, the one who someone was playing with with his dick, was saying shit like 'get your dick away from my lips, i know who you is', 'you play too much', shit like that. By now, I'm rolling on the floor laughing at the door. Well, someone started laughing loudly, and one of the girls woke up. Everyone except one person, me being the first, ran out the door, fast as we could. That one person got trapped, and got stuck in their bathroom, hiding, hoping he wouldn't be discovered.

We ran back to our room, and about five minutes later, our friend who got stuck in the room showed up, asking why we left him. Most of us are still in a drunken stupor, so we're saying things like 'why didn't your ass climb out the damn window' and shit like that.

Oh man, that was the most fun I'd had in a while.
A friend of mine spilled my last beer. (fucker)

He dared me to get a straw and drink it up off of the floor.

I didn't have a straw.

About 15 minutes later, I had torn up my cig pack, and created a straw.

I then slurped up the rest of my beer, off of the garage floor.

Tasty. :thumbsup: