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S.C.U.M. presents: Johnny visits Descent's Colonics and Computer Repair

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BrIONwoshMunky

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I was driving around the internets this weekend, and I noticed something. In a small little strip mall, near wtf.com, there was a curious little shop. The sign drew my attention. The sign had what appeared to be a man bare ass naked sporting something resembling a tail, next to what looked like a computer motherboard, (a dual processor Gigabyte GA-7DPXDW-P, if my eyes serve me correctly). The words on the sign read, “Descent’s Colonics and Computer Repair.” As if this wasn’t odd enough, I became quite startled after reading the slogan, “Leave with more megabytes or megahertz, Guaranteed.” The slogan flat out scared me, yet I was curious as to what was taking place in such an odd little mercantile. I had no other option. I cruised on over to wtf.com, and brought a test subject out of the CockFarm, and sent him in with strict instructions to scope the place out, and then report back to me. What follows is an eyewitness account. Remember, this is from the perspective of the cock farm member, not me. This report thanks to a wtf.com brand wire tap.

The Super Covert Microphone said:
I entered the dark dank shop. It smelled of aged saltwater, with a hint of mint chocolate, maybe even coffee. I walk up to the counter, and ring the hand bell. It’s sticky. Out from the back wonders this creepy looking guy he has no pigment in his skin, like he hasn’t seen the light of day for years. His fingernails were well maintained, but had dirt under them. “What can I do for you,” he hissed, with a voice that sounded like the stalker in too many bad movies, raspy, deep, unrefined. His breath resembled month old milk.
“That is precisely the question I would like you to answer. What CAN you do for me?”
“Well, we fix everything from anuses to Asuses.”
“Excellent, I have a problem with my anus.”
“Just bring it too the back, and I’ll see what I can do.”
<static>
Well, the next time I see Johnny, he’s walking out of the store, bow-legged. The bow-leggedness isn’t his normal bowleggedness, it’s a never before seen bowleggedness. He’s not smiling now, he looks as white as a ghost, and can only mumble single incoherent sentences. I then realize that that is all Johnny could do before hand. I had not discovered anything. The store is still a mystery. An update may follow.
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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/me wants to investigate!

:thumbsup:
 

tzedek

Original Member
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#3
How was the weather in the internets this weekend?
 

Descent

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Oh my God, It took you that long to finish it?!

I didn't even see it when it launched, man. I gave you the motherboard model via PM, and I'm sorry I didn't see the story.

From Anuses to Asuses. God damn, that's funny.

P.S.: I don't use the dually anymore. Played games like a dead hooker's cooter.
 

Descent

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#6
*Bump*

This is too good to fall on deaf ears.
 
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