S.C.U.M. Presents Loket My Ass: How I joined S.C.U.M.


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[18:50] <BWMonkey> loket my ass

That's how it started. A simple utterance on IRC, a seemingly incoherent command from a certainly incoherent man. Little did we know, it would follow us.

Soon, it was everywhere. On valentine's day, I looked up to this:

No confession of love, not "Will you marry me?" Only a slightly disturbing "Loket my ass".

But that wasn't even the beginning. Ever seen yellow snow?

All this was fine. It was everywhere, storefront windows, bumper stickers, even in my dreams. But I didn't mind. What was the harm?

One day, driving home from the grocery store, this car started to follow me:

Try as I might, I couldn't lose it. A black car, heavily tinted windows. I was scared for my life. I pulled into my driveway, ran inside, and locked the doors.

Knock knock knock! I knew it was my doom at the front door. I grabbed a baseball bat and looked through the peephole.

I slowly turned the lock... opened the door, and jumped back!

And there was...

Bill Gates! He, along with his bodyguards, subdued me and gagged me. They dragged me into the car, where I was hogtied and blindfolded. I was working on getting the gag out of my mouth, when it was removed, and chloroform on a rag was put back in its place. I quickly passed out.

When I woke up, I was sitting in a chair. My wrists and ankles were attatched to the chair with iron clasps, and although I struggled I couldn't move at all.

I looked up, and these was JStager, sitting on his metallic throne, with Bill Gates on his left and BRiT on his right. I suddenly knew. It was all a dire scheme, an evil plot with intentions too evil, consequences too dire, to explain here.

The thought sickened me. I passed out, overwhelmed with fear and paranoia.

When I woke up again, I was in some kind of clubhouse. A bunch of strange men in yellow tights were playing ping-pong on the other side of the room. One of them, who seemed to be their leader, walked over and introduced himself. His name was Havok. He was the headman of a group called S.C.U.M. They knew that the sum of their parts equaled more than the whole, and had joined forces to fight. To fight what, they hadn't decided yet. They only knew that I was in trouble, and that they had done the right thing by saving me.

I knew that I had to join the fight. I joined S.C.U.M., and I now have yellow tights of my very own.

And the rest, they say, is history.

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
I hate the FCC said:
No it's as they say, when in Rome. Thank god for Anchorman

I am not a baby, I am a man! I am a man who built the Eiffel Tower out of metal. And braun. You are just a woman. A woman who's brains are a third the size of us men's. It's science. :D

PS. Check out the tag at the bottom of my posts for what my "fav movie" is.


Hella Constipated
Icarus said:
I looked up, and these was JStager, sitting on his metallic throne, with Bill Gates on his left and BRiT on his right


YAY! I'm a king now :psmile: !