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SCUM Presents: ~Pimp-n-Hoes Party~

yes, i would like to order...


  • Total voters
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gurlgonewild

Was machen Sie?
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#1
you are cordially invited to join the following hoes in an excursion of your choice, if you pay the pimp (me) accordingly.

here are the rates and sevices offered:

SEX DOESN'T COME BETTER THAN THIS!! $175 million points
an all inclusive night with our very own creme de la creme jason and brit. they will pinch you, poke, and prod you in all the right places for 24 hours and never complain or say no.

SEXALICIOUS! $10 million points
your choice of maxpower or gehtfuct will pick you up on their motorcycles and wisk you away to the nearest dark alley where they will perform the unmentionable on you -only once though- and then you have to walk back alone.

SEXAY! $5 million points
this is our best, most consumer savvy deal. all your dreams are about to collide! HC will spank the monkey (yes, bwm) in front of you. both will be nude, no pictures please, and anything that becomes "hard" in the meantime may be considered an extra freebee.

YOU BEAST! $3 million points
for those of you who are on a budget (aren't we all?) i have a super deal! nymph, dg, and meh will come over and talk dirty to you while they each fetch you a cold beer. three beers max, if you'd like more i charge a mere half million points each additional beer. (so if you like to suck down warm beer, your plans are set for the evening!) good deal.

FOR YOUR FIRST TIME $1 million points
your choice from the following: fcc, breakology, awaken, descent, kit, cl, diznuts, twist, icky, jung, cff, lib, bnc, stardust, magic hobo, or (pm me if you'd like your nick added) tz will denegrate you while you jerk off in front of them. how, you ask, is this any different than "IRL"? well...they are not allowed to moch your penis.

please note, i only accept non-refundable donations and none of this goes to charity. thanks! i hope you enjoy your new purchase.
 

breakology

Kiss my Converse
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#2
gurlgonewild said:


FOR YOUR FIRST TIME $1 million points

your choice from the following: fcc, breakology, awaken, descent, kit, cl, diznuts, twist, icky, broken, jung, cff, or (pm me if you'd like your nick added) tz will denegrade you while you jerk off in front of them. how, you ask, is this any different than "IRL"? well...they are not allowed to moch your penis.
Sweet! I am a high priced hoe ... this is a definite step up for me! :woot: :cloud9: :woot: :woot: :cheerldr:
 
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#3
SEXAY! $5 million points
this is our best, most consumer savvy deal. all your dreams are about to collide! HC will spank the monkey (yes, bwm) in front of you. both will be nude, no pictures please, and anything that becomes "hard" in the meantime may be considered an extra freebee.
I want this one!!! Bitches! .... can we have substitutions for other peoples though??? *no ofence guyz!*
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
5,034
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#4
Jessica43999 said:
I want this one!!! Bitches! .... can we have substitutions for other peoples though??? *no ofence guyz!*
Why? Because HC Is init?


And Damn right Im $3million :cool:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
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#5
You people are getting a deal at 5 mil to see me in the buff.
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#6
Sorry, GGW, I hate do do it to you, but no pics, no care. :happysad:

Edit: I'm only worth $1 Million. :cry:

Edit:2 Fuck you, GGW.
 
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#7
w00t! i wanna date with maxipoo! maybe i can have max one way and geht the other? i don't wanna walk home alone.
 

RageAgainst

Chaotic Neutral
7,540
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#8
I'll take the one involving chicks and beer, thank you :thumbsup:
 

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
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#9
Ill take package one for free in my bathroom staring in the mirror.:mfinger:
 

RageAgainst

Chaotic Neutral
7,540
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#11
Broken said:
Ill take package one for free in my bathroom staring in the mirror.:mfinger:
What if it wasn't a mirror, but just me copying your every moves?
 
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#12
Broken said:
Ill take package one for free in my bathroom staring in the mirror.:mfinger:
B you and jung are being pissy, until we get the ass pics, then you stay at a million. BUT when we get the pics, oh your prices will go waaaaaaaaay up ;)
 

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
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#13
RageAgainst said:
What if it wasn't a mirror, but just me copying your every moves?

Then you would learn something, and wouldn't leave the house for years.
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#14
I'd like to order... ummm..... 3 of the 3 million point packages please.

And one of the 5 million pointers... for my friend.
 

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
3,891
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#15
Nymphchick said:
B you and jung are being pissy, until we get the ass pics, then you stay at a million. BUT when we get the pics, oh your prices will go waaaaaaaaay up ;)
Pissy excuse me? I payed for the 1 mill. Look at the poll! In fact, I think I am going to go cash it in right now.
 

gurlgonewild

Was machen Sie?
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#16
junglizm said:
Sorry, GGW, I hate do do it to you, but no pics, no care. :happysad:

Edit: I'm only worth $1 Million. :cry:

Edit:2 Fuck you, GGW.
:rotflmao:

please read the fine print
edit: you are so worth it jung, that and more! ...and yes thank you jung, i will take you up on your offer sometime.
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#17
Nymphchick said:
B you and jung are being pissy, until we get the ass pics, then you stay at a million. BUT when we get the pics, oh your prices will go waaaaaaaaay up ;)
Fuck you, I'm going on strike! I'm sending Tito over to have a little "talk" with you too.
gurlgonewild said:
:rotflmao:

please read the fine print
:)

tl;dr
 
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#18
aaaawwwwwwwwww don't be that way, i was gonna buy you but it was too late. i didn't notice you among the riff raff ;)
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,850
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#20
See? Now that's why you should read the fine print. I just chose the $175 mill package assuming it would be the best. After actually reading the post I realized that the 3 miil package was more my speed. Sorry jason and brit. You guys are the tops in my book, but I prefer tacos over sausage.

Kids....don't let this happen to you.

/me fights off jason and brit's manly advances. "Nooos, I don't wanna wear a gagball. And put those anal beads away!"
 
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