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Sit, shit, tell a story

Easty

Click click boom
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#1
i don't know if there's been a thread about toilet humor, but here's one anyway.

here on my floor a bunch of guys like to write little rhymes in the stalls. here it is...

some people come
to shit and stink,
others come
to sit and think.

now i have come
to write this rhyme
for you to read
and pass the time.

so here i sit
in peaceful bliss
listening to the
trickling piss.

now and then
a fart is heard,
followed by
a crashing turd.

now i sit
in gaseous vapors
plus i'm out
of toilet papers.

someone comes,
i must not linger
look out ass
here comes my finger.

any of you guys (maybe girls) have funny, or gross, bathroom stories?
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#3
i wrote something at a Diner me n my friends go to...it was right above the urinal and it read "the joke is not on this wall. Its in your hand"
 

PatticusRex

Powdered Toast Man
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#4
Pay Toilets:

Here I sit broken hearted,
paid a dime and only farted
yesterday I took the chance
I saved a dime, but shit my pants.
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
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#5
At a urinal 3 signs, one at eye level on the wall saying "A little higher" the second a little higher on the wall saying "On the ceiling" and one on the ceiling saying "You're pissing on your shoes."
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#6
I've never laughed harder. That poem was classic.

Somebody wrote "Paul Shutter's Urinal" on the short urinal in the upstairs old wing bathroom in my high school. He's about 4' 8" :D.

Also, in my middle school, there were a collection of porn sies on the wall. It all went fine until somebody posted "TurkishDelight.com," and another kid then wrote "FrishtaYacqubi'sPussy.com" under it.

We had like four bomb threats written on the walls that never took place. Figures...My district is full of rich spoiled pussies.
 

Easty

Click click boom
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#7
bnccoder said:
At a urinal 3 signs, one at eye level on the wall saying "A little higher" the second a little higher on the wall saying "On the ceiling" and one on the ceiling saying "You're pissing on your shoes."
fucking great...

/me gets an idea (cue lightbulb) :thumbsup:
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#9
I took a bunch of pictures of my girlfriend pointing down and laughing, then superglued them all around the edges above the urinals. Does that count?

And, of course, there's always the town whore's number....

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
For a good time,
Call 623-547-0942
 

Zickddot

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#10
one time i wasnt watching where i was pissing and pissed all the way down my pants in a very crouded bathroom.
 

bnccoder

Postaholic
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#11
I ened up pissing on some guy's shoe under the stall. He got pissed on and pissed off. A fight persued, and I kicked his ass. It was great.
 

Easty

Click click boom
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#12
Nailbomb said:
I took a bunch of pictures of my girlfriend pointing down and laughing, then superglued them all around the edges above the urinals. Does that count?

And, of course, there's always the town whore's number....

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
For a good time,
Call 623-547-0942
/me tests number
 

el crotcho

Cooler than sliced cheese
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#14
I dont know why I havent posted in this thread sooner, toilet humor, Rock! theres always find a way to sneak a cantulope in restroom and drop it in the toilet for a hilarious noise!
 

Black Flame

Mayhem on the Loose
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#16
lmao. i only hear the good stuff from others like you people! ..the only slightly interesting things that happen in the girls washroom when i'm around is either, some chick is crying, some chick is bleeding (other than during that time), or a toilet overflows. =( boo hiss those ashamed gross women who never dish out the hilarious goods! boo hiss them forEVER! <_<
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#17
Black Flame said:
lmao. i only hear the good stuff from others like you people! ..the only slightly interesting things that happen in the girls washroom when i'm around is either, some chick is crying, some chick is bleeding (other than during that time), or a toilet overflows. =( boo hiss those ashamed gross women who never dish out the hilarious goods! boo hiss them forEVER! <_<
sux :thumbsdn:
 

bombchu

b-o-n-e-r
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#18
Biggest shit I ever saw.

Note: I know this is a semi old thread, but I didn't think my story deserved an entirely new one, so I ran a search and added on.

I discovered a turd in the men's room.

Everyone knows what it's like to discover someone elses turd. It sucks!
But the turd .... was no ordinary turd.
This turd.. it was 3 inches in diameter, and was more than foot in length.

I was apalled.

I must have stood there for a good thirty seconds with my mouth open.

"Is this humanly possible?!"

I snapped out of it, and tried to flush it.
Then I flushed again not because I thought it might go down the second time,
but just for my own amusement. Nope.

So I went out into the hallway where I found the janitor.
I showed him the shit and he laughed in my face. He must have thought it was mine.

So he went and got a shovel and destroyed my discovery.
It broke in half and flushed.

The End.
 

Sinamon

~Broken Angel~
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#19
lol. Nothing interesting at my school either. I went to a prestigious private school :(. But we did ball up wet tp and throw them to the ceiling to stick for eada few til they would fall back down and hit a girl peein on the toilet right slap up top her head. lolololol. I remember those days :thumbsup: