Its been awhile since I wrote anything truly wonderful. Heck, its been awhile since I did much of anything or took pride in anything. Kind of like day in, day out and shit gets worse, before it gets better. So I write. When few are around you who even give a damn it seems to be the only thing you got. Life about struggles and only the strong survive. I am strong, at least I like to think I am so why am I like this?
“Who am I asking?” I whisper to no one…
Then you got these people, who love you out of pity or cause they have to. Who am I kidding? I don’t have them either, so you fall. In a sea of despair… Oh Woe, is me… right? Funny, I don’t offer many people much pity… just have enough for myself. Kind of selfish when you look at. So where do you wind up, on the internet. At least there humans, with emotions. They can write back and make you smile every so often. Sometimes though, I feel like I don’t even fit in there.
“Where do I belong?” I mumble to myself as the keys click away and my mind drifts to other things.
Victory, Success…… Have I even tasted those yet? In away maybe… in a small way. But mostly through myself I find defeat. Who to blame? Sure I could blame it on a lot of things, but those always fall back on you. So I set myself up to fail. Now what?
Reasoning. Yes there must be reason in my life. What is my reason… Surely there must be one? To make someone smile, yet… there is no one to make smile. There is no one, no reason, no purpose. I live to die… as far as I can see and I gain nor do I give anything. So what is left?
“But to write,” a clear voice with fingers still a pounding
Escape things, I have since I was a child. I do now in an adult. I can dream and I can take myself there and it is alright. Everything is perfect. Wonderful. Though its been awhile since I felt those things. It’s been awhile since I was even alive to dream
“Who am I asking?” I whisper to no one…
Then you got these people, who love you out of pity or cause they have to. Who am I kidding? I don’t have them either, so you fall. In a sea of despair… Oh Woe, is me… right? Funny, I don’t offer many people much pity… just have enough for myself. Kind of selfish when you look at. So where do you wind up, on the internet. At least there humans, with emotions. They can write back and make you smile every so often. Sometimes though, I feel like I don’t even fit in there.
“Where do I belong?” I mumble to myself as the keys click away and my mind drifts to other things.
Victory, Success…… Have I even tasted those yet? In away maybe… in a small way. But mostly through myself I find defeat. Who to blame? Sure I could blame it on a lot of things, but those always fall back on you. So I set myself up to fail. Now what?
Reasoning. Yes there must be reason in my life. What is my reason… Surely there must be one? To make someone smile, yet… there is no one to make smile. There is no one, no reason, no purpose. I live to die… as far as I can see and I gain nor do I give anything. So what is left?
“But to write,” a clear voice with fingers still a pounding
Escape things, I have since I was a child. I do now in an adult. I can dream and I can take myself there and it is alright. Everything is perfect. Wonderful. Though its been awhile since I felt those things. It’s been awhile since I was even alive to dream
