Something To Offend Everyone !

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
>
>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The
> position of the dirt bag.
>
> Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
>
>What 's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US
> leader.
>
>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
> Doughnuts.
>
> Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless
>you're not getting any.
>
> Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely? Because Janet Reno is her
>real father.
>
>What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a
> room together? 100 people who don't do dick..
>
>What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
> alone.
>
> SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
>
>What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
>
>What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
>
>What 's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.
>
>What 's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45
> minutes.
>
>What 's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with
> a sharp knife.
>
> Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand
>criticism.
>
>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
> intention of driving.
>
> Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because
>they have cotton balls.
>
>What 's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine
> has the pricks on the outside.
>
>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? Are
> you sure it's mine?"
>
>What 's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer
> Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
>
> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to
>you.
>
> Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts
>don't have eyes.
>
> Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the
>car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday
>and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>
> SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff)
>
> Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
>

>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
> half-mast? They're hiring.
>
>What 's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern
> zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the
> front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
>
> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the
>F... word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
>*BINGO*!
>
>What 's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a
> southern fairy tale? Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon
> a time..." A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna
> believe this shit..."
 

NaughtyGirl21

Formally Cuddles
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That did not offend me any, I thought it was funny....You should really here some jokes my boyfriends got...those are even harsher. But those were really funny, I liked them.
 

TwisT

Hooked on Rocks!
2,346
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CuddleMuffin said:
That did not offend me any, I thought it was funny....You should really here some jokes my boyfriends got...those are even harsher. But those were really funny, I liked them.
You'd be surprised who gets offended these days.... All the assholes come out of the wood work!
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
889
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none of those offended me..i'm from the south and thought those were still funny...that one is true for me to, i've always started my comments to talk about something earlier with "yall ain't gonna believe this"...cept i don't curse so the last word is out...

funny though..keep'em coming :thumbsup: