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Speaking of Confusion...

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#1
ok, this is a long one, but I'll try to keep it short...

Went to High school with a girl, we became pretty good friends. We graduated, and didn't see each other for like 7 years (I'm 28 and she's 31). So I moved a few years back and she lived right next door. Didn't think much of it at first, until we started hanging out. Thought "Hey, I really like her, and she likes me" so after a few months I brought up the Idea of us dating... which for some reason sent her off the deep end. She says" I just want to be friends" but all her other actions say differently. We're constantly together, flirting incessantly, ect... but anytime I even MENTION the D word, she wigs and won't talk to me for months... we've been going on like this for 3 years, and I'm positive I can't take much more of this before I go COMPLETELY over the edge...

any advice? and other like stories? Am I alone in this destined to play Pseudo-Boyfriend? help?
 

CopyLifted

Funnier than a 5th grader
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#2
I have been in this situation myself. I don't have any answers for you.

It is tough to deal with and totally unfair. She can lead you on and fuck with your head, but once you move in "too close" they freak.

If you can live with this torture, then do it. I'm sure you can't though. It is almost impossible to be friends with a woman that shows "signs" of more.

So, with that said, STOP TORTURING YOURSELF. Move on. Find yourself a girlfriend and forget about her.

Maybe I didn't make much sense there. I'm a bit drunk right now. :happysad:
 

ericman123

CEO of the internet
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#3
Ditto on that note.

She might just be being really friendly with you because she has known you for so long and feels safe around you. Women think differently then men do; play flirting is JUST THAT to most of them unless its over the top and obvious. Take it as a compliment, find a girlfriend and continue being her friend. Once you get your relationship needs taken care of you'll feel a lot more comfortable around her. At least that is my experience.
 

YUCK FOU!!!

Critical Update Notification Tool.
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#4
xplicit-lyrix said:
ok, this is a long one, but I'll try to keep it short...

Went to High school with a girl, we became pretty good friends. We graduated, and didn't see each other for like 7 years (I'm 28 and she's 31). So I moved a few years back and she lived right next door. Didn't think much of it at first, until we started hanging out. Thought "Hey, I really like her, and she likes me" so after a few months I brought up the Idea of us dating... which for some reason sent her off the deep end. She says" I just want to be friends" but all her other actions say differently. We're constantly together, flirting incessantly, ect... but anytime I even MENTION the D word, she wigs and won't talk to me for months... we've been going on like this for 3 years, and I'm positive I can't take much more of this before I go COMPLETELY over the edge...

any advice? and other like stories? Am I alone in this destined to play Pseudo-Boyfriend? help?
kill her, problem solved.
 
#5
If you have known her for this long then certainly if would not be wierd if you sat her down and actually talked about why she goes crazy when you bring up dating and why she is so against it when she shows signs that suggest other wise. My opinoin is you sit down with her one night over dinner and request some answers. Then you will know whether or not to keep wasting your time on her or to move on for sure.
 

.!.^.^.!.

'United by Fate'
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#6
To be honest m8, if you become really close m8s with someone over time, one of you always brings up the dating idea, and the other one usually disagrees like. But say you 2 did date, and then say it didnt work out and you 2 broke up? After this I doubt you to would even be friends, and this might scare her :/. She might want to stay just friends due to the fact she's happy with the relationship you have at the mo. And she doesnt want to risk losing it all by dating. Hope this helps and you to atleast stay m8s :)
 
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#7
or, you can get her drunk.......... ok nm.

Let's see, there's this girl you've known for a few years that realli likes you and you realli like, but she won't go out with you. Well, if I'm in your place I'd either go out, get wasted and hook up, or I come up with a crzy romantic scheme to ask her out (in which case even if she still rejects you, at least you'll explain why.) hope that heps, cheers.
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
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#8
You're in the "Just Friends" boat. It wont change, she's making it obvious. Well as obvious as she can. Find a real GF. I know it sucks, but much of this reality does. sorry.
 

YUCK FOU!!!

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#9
thats true, you cant keep pressing it, once they use the friends line, your fucked
 

villageidiot

villageidiot
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#10
Devil's advocate here...I am like your friend!! Only difference is, I tell my friends straight up that I'm a huge flirt (I mean HUGE), and that if they can't handle it or think they might take it seriously to let me know and I won't do it with them. I don't have all that many friends so I greatly value the ones I do have, and don't want to do anything to lose them. Best bet is to sit down and talk to her about it...tie her to a chair and tape her mouth shut if it's the only way you can get her to listen to you!! Good luck dearie!!
 
#11
Appreciate the info guys...
Yes, I've had the "don't flirt, you shit!" talk with her MANY times, but she can't NOT flirt w/ me...THATS the part that sucks... she'll say "ok, I won't" and a week later, there she goes again...

but, whatever... I'm done with that shit...
 

Iron Newt

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#12
i would say get're drunk, but it wont work ;)(oops). Anyway, tell here what if one day you go away, and it will all be gone, what then, youll never know what you had
 
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#13
Being in the friends category is no fun and there really isn't much you can do about it. All you can do is try one more time and if it doesn't work either quit hangin with her or stfu and accept it.
 
#14
figured it out!!!

Yeah, I solved my dilemma by getting a GF and discontinuing relations with the confusing one... might be a bit mean, but if that drives home the point, then so be it...