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Stop telling me there's somebody for everybody

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#1
1) It doesn't make me feel any better. I don't even want anybody anyway.
2) It's statistically impossible, since there are about 70 million more men in the world than there are women.
 

Bridgette

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#2
I feel like that worn out phrase is thrown around to encourage people not to give up on finding someone; not necessarily being a factual statement.

But if you genuinely don't want someone then disregard it all together. If you do want someone and you've just become cynical for not having found one yet, don't give up.

Maybe you can elaborate more on your situation.
 
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#3
It's not about finding "the one". There is no 1. It's about coming to terms with a persons flaws and strengths, and honestly justifying whether you want to spend a long period of time with them. If you want kids that means staying happily together long enough to raise them, then possibly parting ways if you grow tired of each other. If you don't want kids there's nothing wrong with a short-mid term relationship.

Just make sure you don't drag kids into it before you truly know the person (That's how this world got so fucked up).
I also think people can change which drastically complicates things. :hbreak:

There are very few couples compatible enough to spend a full lifetime with each other (happily :lol:). Soulmates is a bullshit concept.

But that's just like... my opinion man. :munchies:
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
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#4
If you're not looking and are apathetic about it, fuck what other people think. You don't need someone to make you something you aren't, but maybe, perhaps, there's someone out there who can help you be the best you that you are already.

Just because you don't feel the need to mow down pussy and leave a line of pining wenches in your wake doesn't make you any less than some idiot with 43 marriages under their belt.
 
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Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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#5
I agree with BrION. I'm an 'only' (lonely) guy. People wonder why I'm single and want to hook me up with somebody. I'm perfectly content on my own.

You don't need someone to make you something you aren't, but maybe, perhaps, there's someone out there who can help you be the best you that you are already.
I might like to find that person but she is probably out of my grasp. I'm Okay with that. I'd rather be alone than living in a less than ideal situation for the sake of sex or companionship or whatever.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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#8
Not only is there some one for you, but that some one has a twin, on the end of your other arm.
 

ThisIsBananas

Tough guy!
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#9
If you want a relationship, don't think or act like an incel. Being attractive is a personality thing. Looks don't matter that much.
 
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#10
You're forgetting about the gays!
But there are female gays as well as male gays, so they cancel each other out. I did the math. :happysad:

And then there are the guys who have more than one wife/girlfriend/whatever.

If you want a relationship, don't think or act like an incel. Being attractive is a personality thing. Looks don't matter that much.
I don't think or act like an incel. I'm just not sure I want a relationship. I mean, I asked a girl out a couple weeks ago. She said yes, but sounded really unsure, and I never ended up getting her number. Then I thought about it a bit and realized I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. The thought of letting somebody in, to get to know me, scares me.
 

Bridgette

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#11
.



I don't think or act like an incel. I'm just not sure I want a relationship. I mean, I asked a girl out a couple weeks ago. She said yes, but sounded really unsure, and I never ended up getting her number. Then I thought about it a bit and realized I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. The thought of letting somebody in, to get to know me, scares me.
So that wouldn't be genuine apathy or lack of desire to find someone, that's simply fear holding you back. From the sounds of it the incident with that one girl -- possibly but very unclear -- rejecting you, or just not responding, has resulted in a ricochet-effect decision to now not be with anyone. It seems like a defense mechanism to shut down and pretend you want no one so that you don't go through that again.

As for being frightened of someone getting to know you: I was the exact same. I was scared of not being good enough for someone, or that they would be put off by my utter inexperience or just think Im the biggest freak ever. So I swore up and down I would be alone and I think I was content with that at one point. But then my now-husband became my best friend and I wanted to let him in and get to know me and the rest is history from there.

So while I can completely empathise and appreciate exactly what you're feeling because I felt the same, you could meet someone that you'll happIly let those walls down for and by closing your mind to the idea of a relationship you may miss that opportunity.

Some may disagree with me, but I don't know that you should be actively looking for someone purely for dating. Socialise as much as possible and find people with parallel interests, but I'm a big proponent of developing friendships, as those can burgeon into incredible relationships, versus going on tinder in hopes a hook up will magically transform into more.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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#12
I guess I should never try stand up.

People wonder why I'm single and want to hook me up with somebody.
Apart from my parents, no one seems to wonder why I am single and no one has ever tried to hook me up with some one. :(

Some may disagree with me, but I don't know that you should be actively looking for someone purely for dating. Socialise as much as possible and find people with parallel interests, but I'm a big proponent of developing friendships, as those can burgeon into incredible relationships, versus going on tinder in hopes a hook up will magically transform into more.
I would like to develop a friendship with a woman, but even my male friends never seem to have much time for me. I really do not like to socialize much. Most social activities in the States seem to revolve around alcohol and I do not drink. I also do not smoke and hate being around people who are smoking. At least half of the people at my job smoke, so I spend my breaks virtually alone. I am also not a sports fan, an animal lover, or religious. I have grown quite comfortable living alone, the same way prisoners become institutionalized.

Oh wait. I forgot this thread is about how Unforgiven's life sucks, not mine. Carry on.
 
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#13
Please remove your ass sticks before reading. :asshat:

I think @Bridgette nailed it but I'd like to concur. If you look at the majority of good relationships, the thing they have in common is it started as a friendship.

Side note: Lying to yourself to avoid hurt is very dangerous. It's actually very easy to convince yourself of things you don't truly believe.

@CoprophagousCop You've made me laugh out loud multiple times. Whether at your jokes or more serious comments, I still laughed, so that's a plus. :rotflmao:
I just think you need to say fuck the friends with different interests than you. You can't be friends with everyone, focus on the proven non-dumbasses.
I also think you could loosen up a little. :fpan: I too find it hard to have fun; one or two drinks can help a lot as a social lubricant. It's not exactly physically healthy, but used correctly, it can be psychologically beneficial.

I think step 1 is to find more hobbies. Everyone needs shit to do with their time. Once hobbies are formed it becomes easier to build friendships around common interests.

All in all this thread is full of subconscious issues and denial. I think we all need to go find ourselves some nice blue stained mushrooms and take a nature walk. Psychedelics have been proven to shut down the parts of the brain responsible for the ego. They allow you to confront issues you were either not willing to face, or didn't even know you had. <^ That's some cold hard science not just hippie talk.


TLDR
Whether you're a straight laced stick sitter, or a pipe smoking tree hugger, we could all benefit from our mysterious friends the mushrooms.
Those knowledgeable little fuckers are worth years of therapy. Just make sure you do your research first. :hide:

Hippie rant over. :sarcasm: You can put the stick back now. :horse:
 

ib4

Error
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#15
There somebody for everybody...i'm not sure about you though. Unless paying for services counts...
 
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#16
So that wouldn't be genuine apathy or lack of desire to find someone, that's simply fear holding you back. From the sounds of it the incident with that one girl -- possibly but very unclear -- rejecting you, or just not responding, has resulted in a ricochet-effect decision to now not be with anyone. It seems like a defense mechanism to shut down and pretend you want no one so that you don't go through that again.
This started long before I ever met this girl. I'm not scared of rejection. I just know it'll happen so there's no point in trying.

Some may disagree with me, but I don't know that you should be actively looking for someone purely for dating. Socialise as much as possible and find people with parallel interests, but I'm a big proponent of developing friendships, as those can burgeon into incredible relationships, versus going on tinder in hopes a hook up will magically transform into more.
I've heard this same advice from multiple people. And try as I might to make friends, very few people want to be my friend. I dunno if I smell funny or what. I can't remember the last time I went out with people or had somebody text me to hang out. It just doesn't happen.

There somebody for everybody...i'm not sure about you though. Unless paying for services counts...
Been there, done that. It gets expensive after a while.
 

Out2Lunch

☃️☠️❄️
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#18
Make an emo dating app. A vertical swipe for those you think are to die for and a horizontal swipe for the ones who don’t cut it.