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Icarus

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#1
Why do the vast majority of people feel like outsiders?

In my mom's many years as a psychologist, she said that the number one thing she heard from anybody was that they felt different, they felt like they could never be the same, they felt like something was "strange" about them that stopped them from fitting in as well as they would like.

Why do you think this happens? Is it a lack of self-esteem? Is it simply that society and popular media desensitizes us to stereotypes so much that we become prejudiced, leading us to think that everybody's the way they appear on T.V. (and thus different from us)? Could it simply be that we're wired this way for our own good (so we don't settle down too long, when we were Nomadic)? And if that's it, how did we develop a feeling so complex to counter the urge to settle down? They could have just taken away our ass so we couldn't sit down.

So why do we feel different? Do you notice the same thing in yourself? Anything else you'd like to add?

P.S.: Don't tell me it's because my mom's patients were crazy ("They were seeing a shrink after all, durr"). Some of them were more healthy up there than anybody I've ever met.
 

voiceofreason

Seeker of Truth
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#2
NoSubstance said:
Why do the vast majority of people feel like outsiders?

Why do you think this happens? .
Well, I'd say most peple just lack confidence, and feel they are not as GOOD as others, even though everyone is pretty much the same.

The rest just crave being different, and don't want to be seen as part of the rest of the herd...
 

Icarus

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#3
Self-esteem, then?

Wanting to be different is a symptom of low self-esteem, I'd think. People that make an active attempt to be different are just trying to get noticed. They modify who they are because their own self isn't "good enough" to attract attention otherwise, so they might dress a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way, walk a certain way, whatever, to make who they are seem more... "presentable".

Oh, and I'm not trying to act like I've got this all figured out. The whole reason I'm posting this is because I don't :thumbsup:
 
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#4
I've always been an outsider... i'll explain why... bear with me :) .

ever since grade 4, there was one certain group of people who'd sort of bully me. they'd push me around, they'd call me names, they'd make me feel like shit... like i was worthless. i had low self esteem. i believed them when they told me i was shit... when they told me i was a loser.

there were about 6 of them... one was in my grade... the rest were in high school. every fucking day it would be the same thing over and over and over again. from grade 4 to grade 9, when i finally got out of that hell.

but there are some wounds that just won't heal. i've gotten over it since then, but the insults... the injuries... they still hurt, even though it's been almost 5 years.

the main one is self esteem, i think. if you think you're worthless, you consider yourself an outsider.

just my 0.02.
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
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#5
Unforgiven said:
I've always been an outsider... i'll explain why... bear with me :) .

ever since grade 4, there was one certain group of people who'd sort of bully me. they'd push me around, they'd call me names, they'd make me feel like shit... like i was worthless. i had low self esteem. i believed them when they told me i was shit... when they told me i was a loser.

there were about 6 of them... one was in my grade... the rest were in high school. every fucking day it would be the same thing over and over and over again. from grade 4 to grade 9, when i finally got out of that hell.

but there are some wounds that just won't heal. i've gotten over it since then, but the insults... the injuries... they still hurt, even though it's been almost 5 years.

the main one is self esteem, i think. if you think you're worthless, you consider yourself an outsider.

just my 0.02.
similar experience..people really know how to drag somebody down...and then you try to change yourself to 'fit in' with everybody else...and it never works
for me it didn't..i didn't like trying to be one of the cool guys..i didn't like them at all..but it felt better knowing at least someone in highschool or any grade..just so i wasn't totally left out and if there was any trouble, they'd always back me up out of it...so i had some decent friends but they really werent the kind of people i wanted to hang around with..and i really never did except in school
i guess the only other thing that made me feel like such a loner is that i never had a gf and everyone else did...even guys who looked like they didn't deserve one at all...so being alone really really threw me out of whack, and hi depression...so i started collecting big pocket knifes and daggers to feed the will to die
i was always known as the nice guy...but it jus wasn't enough to be seen...i'd either want to be left alone..or with a girl...hmm..really haven't been with a girl rarely, never a gf yet...so yea i'm still a loner, outsider to those around me
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#6
Unforgiven said:
I've always been an outsider... i'll explain why... bear with me :) .

ever since grade 4, there was one certain group of people who'd sort of bully me. they'd push me around, they'd call me names, they'd make me feel like shit... like i was worthless. i had low self esteem. i believed them when they told me i was shit... when they told me i was a loser.

there were about 6 of them... one was in my grade... the rest were in high school. every fucking day it would be the same thing over and over and over again. from grade 4 to grade 9, when i finally got out of that hell.

but there are some wounds that just won't heal. i've gotten over it since then, but the insults... the injuries... they still hurt, even though it's been almost 5 years.

the main one is self esteem, i think. if you think you're worthless, you consider yourself an outsider.

just my 0.02.

I know how you feel. In jr. high I was picked on alot, got my ass beat a few times by a couple people or more at once. but then in 9th grade i started getting high (pretty much whatever type of drug was most available...not a picky drug user back then) and drinking and fighting back because I was tired of being in the out crowd, and pretty soon Everyone was MY Best Friend.

I fucking hated jr high and high school. and some of those hurts do carry over into your adult life, it has been like 9 years since I dropped school in 11th grade, and I still hate those bitches.
 
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#7
NoSubstance said:
Why do the vast majority of people feel like outsiders?

In my mom's many years as a psychologist, she said that the number one thing she heard from anybody was that they felt different, they felt like they could never be the same, they felt like something was "strange" about them that stopped them from fitting in as well as they would like.

Why do you think this happens? Is it a lack of self-esteem? Is it simply that society and popular media desensitizes us to stereotypes so much that we become prejudiced, leading us to think that everybody's the way they appear on T.V. (and thus different from us)? Could it simply be that we're wired this way for our own good (so we don't settle down too long, when we were Nomadic)? And if that's it, how did we develop a feeling so complex to counter the urge to settle down? They could have just taken away our ass so we couldn't sit down.

So why do we feel different? Do you notice the same thing in yourself? Anything else you'd like to add?

P.S.: Don't tell me it's because my mom's patients were crazy ("They were seeing a shrink after all, durr"). Some of them were more healthy up there than anybody I've ever met.
Many people try to fit in and play the game by the rules of the group they want to fit in, but by that way you always lose, no matter how good you learn to play their game.

You wil always feel strange about yourself because you are not who you are, but your thoughts are occupied with fitting in, so you keep running and keep feeling strange.

When you play the game by your own rules you wil fit in much better, and you did it by staying true to yourself :thumbsup:

so, yeah. Its got a lot to do with selfesteem.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
NoSubstance said:
Why do the vast majority of people feel like outsiders?

In my mom's many years as a psychologist, she said that the number one thing she heard from anybody was that they felt different, they felt like they could never be the same, they felt like something was "strange" about them that stopped them from fitting in as well as they would like.

Why do you think this happens? Is it a lack of self-esteem? Is it simply that society and popular media desensitizes us to stereotypes so much that we become prejudiced, leading us to think that everybody's the way they appear on T.V. (and thus different from us)? Could it simply be that we're wired this way for our own good (so we don't settle down too long, when we were Nomadic)? And if that's it, how did we develop a feeling so complex to counter the urge to settle down? They could have just taken away our ass so we couldn't sit down.

So why do we feel different? Do you notice the same thing in yourself? Anything else you'd like to add?
This is very popular in america, because we place so much importance on our individuality and freedom, yet we push the same social boundries down our childrens throats until the are either copies or outsiders.

you do not see this in chinese children, as they are taught to act as one in school.
 

bigck3000

The Iron Lung
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#9
i'm the opposite of the picked on kid in jr high and high school. i was always really cool with everyone, that kind of guy that can go to everyone's lunch table and sit comfortably. but after leaving high school i had some time to think about what that meant, did it mean that i had a lot of friends, did it mean that i was well liked...and i came to the conclusion that...no, i didnt have any real friends, nobody i could trust...i knew that second i left high school (i graduated early) i would be forgotten and have to start over with a whole new group of people. but as of late i've decided not to try to just fit iin with everybody and shit, i think that the reason people decide to try to fit in is because they have low self esteem so you kinda just blend in and the focus is taken off of you as an individual. i think it takes an entirely unique type of person to graciously step out of the crowd, not in any obvious or flamboyant way (goths) but to just start thinking for yourself rather than thinking about what will get you in better favor with the group.
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
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#10
why the hell did this forum degrade into "let's whine about our pasts?"

to avoid being like george "white people" bush and to actually answer the question, i would say it's the ego. nobody realizes that at some point in life you are only aware of yourself -- internal processes, thoughts, feelings, even sensations -- and because of that, you see "yourself" as one entity and "everyone else" as another, separate entity instead of seeing it as a large group of others.

follow?

~ dan ~
 

Icarus

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#11
Yes. So you think that it's not lack of self-esteem, you think it's the ego?

That is also very plausible... I didn't think of that.

P.S.: Thanks for getting this back on track, Morelos.
 

Seije

The Stranger Returns...
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#12
morelos said:
follow?

~ dan ~
i think i got separated from the pack...so lost

..but yea i get what your saying
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
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#13
self-esteem really has nothing to do with it. it's an entirely egoistic behavior; from birth you learn to categorize things, and since your brain is still adapting to all this new sensory input, it puts an unfairly high priority on just sensory input..

so your world is divided principally into two, when you first begin categorizing, because of sensory input and eventually cognitive tasks: "that which is me" and "that which is not me."

it comes back to bite people when they realize other people are just as complete with them, and that even though i can't feel what goes on in your body, i know you can. this results in a strange desire to be a part of that group, "that which is not me." of course, this is impossible, so you start to feel strange, scared, and detached. little does anyone know it's just their own self-built fundamentals that drive the strange sensation of detachment in the first place; it's part of how you organized the world as a child!

~ dan ~
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#14
I can tell you one thing. You'll never meet a person with Asperger Syndrome (Low level autism) who functions like that. Our brains are wired totally different than your average person. Bill Gates, John Carmack, Albert Einstein, and Glenn Gould have all been said to have it.

It impairs your social skills, coordination, etc., but it makes you a fucking genius.

Lots of geeks have it too. So think about this: The next time you make fun of a nerd for having no friends, well, you're making fun of someone with a mental condition. It's something we can't help, so piss off, you ass clowns!

FUCK ALL WHO OPRESS US AUTISTIC GEEKS! WE FUCKING RULE THE WORLD! WITHOUT US, YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING INTERNET!

I wouldn't trade this disorder for anything. It's going to make me a fucking millionaire someday. :D
 

Hypertron

Asshole of the Year
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#15
jstager said:
I can tell you one thing. You'll never meet a person with Asperger Syndrome (Low level autism) who functions like that. Our brains are wired totally different than your average person. Bill Gates, John Carmack, Albert Einstein, and Glenn Gould have all been said to have it.

It impairs your social skills, coordination, etc., but it makes you a fucking genius.

Lots of geeks have it too. So think about this: The next time you make fun of a nerd for having no friends, well, you're making fun of someone with a mental condition. It's something we can't help, so piss off, you ass clowns!

FUCK ALL WHO OPRESS US AUTISTIC GEEKS! WE FUCKING RULE THE WORLD! WITHOUT US, YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING INTERNET!

I wouldn't trade this disorder for anything. It's going to make me a fucking millionaire someday. :D

hmmm i guess im lucky, im a geek/nerd but i'm athletic, play football, and im one of the most popular people at my school...haha i guess im a freek in the geek world though but oh well.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#16
Hypertron, you are considered a semi-nerd in our group :D .